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 Elite Fitness Bodybuilding, Anabolics, Diet, Life Extension, Wellness, Supplements, and Training Boards
 Chat & Conversation
 I hate freeloaders---need help.
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| Author | Topic: I hate freeloaders---need help. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 574 |
Ok, my best friend who I have known for about 7 years has turned into a big ass freeloader. We have done everything together, been to jail together, fought together, we are really really tight, but his lack of money is breaking up our friendship. I'm in college, I work fulltime and my parents pay my rent, so I have extra money, but as of 3 months ago, his parents stopped paying his rent and told him to get a job, theres only one problem, He is a lazy mother fucker and doesn't want to work, he got fired from this place last month b/c he decided not to show up anymore. Moral of the story is that I have been spotting him money for shit, such as food, beer,(ALWAYS BEER), every time we go out and drink I end up paying 90% of the tab and shit, he might throw down like 4$ for a 20$ tab between us. This is how its been for the past month and I'm starting to get really pissed off. He is 3 months back on rent and this fucks over his roomates b/c they have to come up with the money somehow. The worst part about all of this is that he doesn't seem to care. He gets all depressed and shit, saying that he feels bad that he ows everyone money, but yet he still refuses to get a job. Anyways, the reason I bring this up is because I'm going to put a stop to it, we have played softball the last 3 years and we both owe 31$ for this season, I told him I would pay, but fuck that, I've had enough, I'm gonna tell him that even though we are best friends, I will not spot him the money because It will never get paid back, this will probably fuck up our friendship cause he won't get the play, but hey what am I supposed to do, keep supporting his lazy ass?? Am I being an asshole by doing this or what?? ------------------    | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 72 |
nah its tough but fuck why should you pay because he doesnt want to work for himself? Hes using you, bestfriend or not, its still called using you. Slopain  | ||
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Moderator 
Posts: 772 |
You have to be tough... as I was in a like situation back in April.. it hurts when you have to be mean to someeone you are really tight with, but it's best in the long run.  | ||
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Cool Novice 
Posts: 48 |
Its called tough love man. Ya gotta do it. Me and my boy have some simple rules though when it comes to cash. We either pay our own way when we go to some place like chic-filet in the mall or if we get a check we split 50-50 no matter what the other ordered. Cause there will be times when I buy something that costs more than him and vice versa. It evens itself out. But ya gotta do what ya gotta do even if its hard, but if it makes him get a job its worth it. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 137 |
You don't have to be mean, you just have to be firm. If he is as close a friend as you say he is, talk to him. Don not be mean, or you will get nowhere. Just be firm. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 137 |
You don't have to be mean, you just have to be firm. If he is as close a friend as you say he is, he will finally understand the situation from your point of view. But, once again, DO NOT BITCH HIM OUT, or you will probably get nowhere. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 157 |
one of the many drwabacks of being a nice guy. that's always a tough situation that you're in. good luck handling it. i hope your friendship doesnt go to shit ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 537 |
be firm but not mean...Does your friend have any emotional problems or any other underlying problems such as depresion, ADD, anything that might affect him for wanting to look for a job?? I'm free loading off my parents and I still don't have a job, grant it I'm not in the situation where it's needed, but one of the things I learned about having ADD is that I wont settle for a BS job that I'm not challenged at for crap pay......Not saying your friend is like that...just thought you might want to think about doing it in a firm and not threating way to him. | ||
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Moderator
Posts: 1480 |
Naty, big fuckin deal the guy is broke for now. Some friend you are...what the hell is a few hundred or even a few thousand bucks between true friends? You've been "best friend" with this guy for how long? Years. Now you call him a freeloader while your parents are spoonfeeding you? Cut the whining and help the guy out. To be sure, he needs to be pushed in the gainful employment direction. If he's your friend, get up his ass about that. Don't cut him off - if you guys have been through a lot, then this is just more hard times. Do what you need to do in order to help him get back "in the black." I'm guessing by the tone of your post that you're what? Early 20's maybe? Younger? There will be plenty of time for the shoe to be on the other foot. You may need him then, unless your parents will help you again. Matt
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 332 |
Right on Matt! If he is a true friend you bring it up and out in the open. He will deal with it if he values the friendship. Help him out with some cash but also help him get a job. Remind him to get a job. He makes efforts, help him. Be honest and blunt. Good friends are real hard to find!! | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 351 |
Natymike, everyone has made some vaild arguments for a set of values based on freindship or money. The thing is, you are the one who has to look at what you value the most and go with that bro. This is a situation that has no easy answer. If it were me, I would talk to my bud to find out why he doesn't work. Could go beyond being lazy and relate to him having self worth issues. At your guys age too, there is this basic underlying fear that things in the world won't work out for you and a basic lack of self confidence. I had these problems till I was damn near thirty, after that you get this fuck it attitude and realize that everyone else is as full of shit as you are, but I digress... ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 574 |
Thanks for all the replies, and Matt, "he is broke for now, big deal" I can understand that quote assuming that he cares that he owes people money and that he plans on getting a job sometime in the future, but he doesn't. He actually said that he knows he will fuck over his roomates but "who the fuck cares" by the way his roomates are his good friends as well as mine. He just doesn't give a shit, As for my parents "spoonfeeding", yes they pay my rent, but I work fulltime so I could pay if I wanted, however they don't pay for Gas, and Food, Phones, bills, yada yada, they just pay the rent, However, if they didn't pay rent, (which they won't next year) I will maintain a fulltime job so I don't have to leach off my friends. I wouldn't feel right asking my friend to spot me money knowing that I would never pay it back. I see that the overwhelming majority suggests that I put a stop to this as friendly as I can, thanks for all the help. Late Naty. ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 366 |
i woudl say just keep helping him out give him soem money what he needs and remind him u need it back when he has it,i have friends who dont always have coin so one time when we play pool i get the tab for it and if i dont have coin they do it for me,get him motivated to work ------------------ |
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posted September 20, 2000 06:44 PM
