We came up with Scrapple!

How does Scrapple come to be?

Devotees stress that homemade Scrapple is best. Here, we'll learn how it's done. First, we begin with the head of a pig (fresh is always preferable to frozen). Exactly which parts of a pig's head are included in Scrapple depends somewhat on regional preference.

To begin, the head should be cut in half, or even quartered. (The ears make for conventient handles while sawing the skull.) While an axe or cleaver can be used to split the head, a saw is preferable in that it produces no bone fragments.

Once the head is sectioned, some people remove the brains. Some remove the teeth - bashing them off with a cleaver. Yet others remove the eyes. The most nutritious scrapples contain the entire head! That said, however, special care should be taken to remove the ear drums. Left in place, they contribute a distinctively bitter taste to the Scrapple, which while popular in Pittsburgh, is generally disliked elsewhere

Next, all desirous head and non-head matter, including heart, feet and tail, are cooked in a pot with just enough water to cover. During cooking, meat loosens from bone and the skin, ears, rooter and nearly all head gristle softens. The resulting broth harbors an explosion of nutritional goodness!
Bones and loosened meaty matter are strained from the broth, which should be set aside. When the meat has cooled, pick through it, removing bones and hard gristle. Grind up the skin and soft gristle, rooter and so on. Recombine the ground meats with all but about a cup of the strained broth.

For each two cups of broth reunited with meat, add one cup cereal to thicken. Bring to a slow boil, stirring all the time. Add salt, black pepper, red pepper, sage, onion powder, and if you're feeling adventurous, some bacon bits. Continue stirring until it arrives at the consistency of porridge. Pour into loaf pans and cool. The Scrapple is finished!

Although edible raw, Scrapple is usually sliced and fried in butter or lard. Served in a deep, placid pool of egg yolk and ketchup, it is a veritable cholesterol meltdown. It is inarguably and unfathomably vile.