|
|
 |
 |
|
 Elite Fitness Bodybuilding, Anabolics, Diet, Life Extension, Wellness, Supplements, and Training Boards
 Chat & Conversation
 Kid????????
|
| Author | Topic: Kid???????? | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 251 |
Do you have kids or you thinking about having kids? If so did you have to have them (Preg.)? Or did you plan them? Some people have kids; believing that when they get older there kids are going to take care of them. What is your reason???    | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 147 |
i dont want kids never have. thats not the lifestyle i want to lead. infact i felt so strongly about not wanting them i got a vasectomy. it really limits me in my dating but i'm sure as hell not going to give a woman a kid because she wants one. It has to be a mutual decision. i'm very open about it from the start when getting to know someone. at that point i can usaully see i wont be seeing her again. But thats ok i'm not going to sacrafice my ideas and lifestyle for someone else. I see too many men forced into having kids only to be unhappy or divorced. I think things are really goign to change with this new male birth control pill. ------------------   | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 87 |
I have 3 kids.....had always wanted 3 kids.....even though the last 2 weren't planned......it all worked out perfect though.........and, sort of off topic, but, there are some days I wish I never had any.....and, that has nothing to do with my kids or my love for them either...so, don't even go there....it's just like any regret each of us may have at one time or another... Nice topic Pamela | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 738 |
I won't even consider having children until I am able to support them emotionally. My lifestyle takes far to much time and my psyche is too fragile, currently. Maybe someday, but no time soon. BTW, I can't wait for the male birth control pill. Puc ------------------ | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 895 |
I have a 5 year old. He is my first and will be my only. I waited until I found the right partner, my 3rd wife. I also waited until I was financially set and mature enough raise a child. I wanted to be able give him enough attention without feeling that I was giving up "my life". I think people having children too early find their lives are stressed by their childrens needs, mostly the time they require. | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 57 |
I have a son and wouldn't trade him for the world!!  ------------------ | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 698 |
gotz none | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 80 |
One, from a relationship that didnt work out. When she believed I was gonna dump her (she believed right) she stopped taking birth control pills and got pregnant. She figured Id have to keep her then! She figured wrong. I regret the way things happened, but I dont regret my daughter being born. As for others, well to be honest... Im a little to self centered at this point in my life... but mabye at a future date I'll have another. The important thing is to make sure you practice making babies as often as possible, so when youre ready to have on youre in good form! Onekikasswoman: I think we need to practice a little, just to keep fresh... ------------------ | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 251 |
OK everyone! I do not have kids, never wanted them and never got preg. I felt it was such a Big responsibilty, one that I never wanted to tackle. In a way I think it self-centered. But, in another way I think the people that have the kids are the ones that are self-centered. Having them for there on pleasure. Nothing else in there life to make it whole. So they bring this little person into there lives to fill the void. So this is what I am getting to. Do you think it's the childs respondsibiliy to take care of an aging adult???? Lisa | ||
|
Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 339 |
Never planned it but....my 2 1/2 year old daughter is my only true happiness...I'm so proud to be her father.. ------------------ | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 71 |
My son is 15.I had him to take care of me,he cooks and cleans all day and he better be a rocket scientist soon cause I don't wanna work much longer. | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 87 |
Monster: why, of course .....practice, keeping fresh and on top of things......good plan.....we'll take notes, compile our data, make charts and graphs......all in the name of science  | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 87 |
Pamela: Don't presume to judge people that decided and did have kids. I don't know if I like the way you said what you did. Maybe you could rephrase it for me? | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 123 |
I married early (21) never dream of having kids, but got three! yes they're a great responsibility, I've gone thru hardship raising them (by myself) but they also make me a happy man,watching them grow into a unique individual & having their own temperement, 2 have grown up,& working. yep if I've a choice I'll be willing to go thru it again, & if your parents think the same as you do......................... | ||
|
Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 368 |
My hubbby & I plan to start in a year or so! We want to enjoy our time together first! ------------------ | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 824 |
Rotten has one six year old pup, and a liter on the way! ------------------ | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 251 |
Lisa! Wanted to let you know that I am in a situation. Someone close to me. His parents are aging. They are very sick, especially his Mom. They make him feel like it's his responsibility to take care of them while they wait to die. He had a brother, that was in his 40's, lived at home with his Mom & Dad. But, died 3 years ago. Since then they have wanted him to take over. I was just wondering if this was right?? Doesn't he have the right to live his life? Is that why people have kids?? I know not all, but I wonder if some think about that? That's what I was getting to!! Don't get me wrong, I am glad people have kids. Cause if everyone was like me, the population would die!!! Pamela | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 87 |
Pamela: I understand now...thanks... I suppose it's your friends decision on what to do.....maybe he shouldn't feel so obligated....hard to say.. | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1004 |
Having children is a privelage not a right. My relationship of 7yrs (married for the last two) is on rocky rocky ground because I am not ready to have kids and he is. I thought I could do it for him but I finally had to listen to my own inner voice after trying to get pg for over a year and nothing was happening. It sucks, I feel like a freak for not having my "clock" ticking. But I'm not about to have a child just to save the relationship. I think that would be worse in the long run. Its not that I don't think I wouldn't love my child, or be a good mother for that matter. I just don't feel that "need". ------------------ | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 74 |
I have 2 beautiful girls. It's been the most wonderful and at the same time toughest responsibility I've had. I look at those faces and think, man, look what I helped create. Other times I ask myself, "what the fuck were we thinking?!?!?" Bottom line, if you're not up to the challenge, don't do it. It's a life altering thing. And if you do......hehe get ready! hehehehehehehehehehe Hence, my signature ------------------ | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 74 |
Oh yeah. Was it a planned pregnancy? Well.....we planned on buying that bottle of Tequila! hehe be careful! ------------------ | ||
|
Moderator 
Posts: 744 |
Me of all people never planned to have or raise kids.. however my partner's nephew came to stay with us when he was 7 due to unfortunate circumstances. He recently turned 18, and found a job out of state, so he left home and on his own. I'm glad that he's on his own, but I sure do miss him. | ||
|
Moderator
Posts: 749 |
Pamela - I always thought the reason I had children was because I had so much to offer them (I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher before I got married.). And when I did have one and then another, and then another (Yes, believe it or not, they were ALL planned...only the last was conceived w/o the use of fertility drugs.) I often asked myself the question why I desired to have so many. (There are people who have more than we did, but four is considered a lot by today's standards.) The answer didn't dawn on me until quite recently. I didn't have them because of what I wanted to teach them - quite the contrary - THEY have taught ME SO MUCH MORE than I COULD'VE EVER IMAGINED! Discipline, patience, self-control, striving for goals, not quitting when you feel like you can't go on any more, strength, honesty, to be proud of myself and my accomplishments and to keep reaching for more - so much more than I could've ever been without them. Does this sound selfish? Maybe so. I'm not speaking for others. And for goodness sake, I'm not saying that one should have children because they want to "learn" about life. I'm only stating my personal experience here. And what do I expect in return? Honestly, nothing. My husband and I are doing everything we can so that when we will be incapable of taking care of each other or ourselves we will be able to pay professionals to care for us. I don't want my adult daughters to have to care for us while trying to raise their families or pursue their career dreams, or both. The strain of everyday life will be enough for them. If I equipt them properly with the tools they will need to get along in the world and be successful in life then their success and happiness will be enough for me and I can die happy. I want them to come home to me only if they wish it and not because they feel obligated. I want my home to be the one they come to during the holidays and special events (when they can come) because THEY WANT TO and not because they will feel guilted into it. I want them to go out into the world and live THEIR lives. When they are gone from my home - I will BE LIVING MINE WITH HUBBY! Sure, I want them to visit, but they will HAVE TO LEAVE THEIR LAUNDRY AT THEIR HOUSE! | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 80 |
Bikinimom, you always give us a good post This may sound weird, but about two years ago I was ready for another kid, but didnt. Now I dont think thats what I want to do... I figured as I got older and matured it would be the opposite... | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 147 |
pam i am in a situation right now that its been made clear to me that when her mom ages she will be taking care of her. that i'm fine with but what i'm not fine with is the fact she thinks her mom will be living with us. we are not married yet but i will not marry knowing this. theres no fucking way that her mom or dad or anyone for that matter is going to live in the same house as me. i have created a lifestyle i enjoy very much and wont give it up. her asking me to do so is not fair to me at all. she has also suggested building her a attached apartment that to is out of the question. i just dont want that. not to mention it would ruin the value of my house. i enjoy my privacy very much. ------------------ | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 251 |
Bikinimom, I respect women and men like you... The ones who plan there life (especially having kids). What's sad is the people who have kids, that are not ready. Bring them into the world, and not teach there kids what's right or wrong. Ubermass, | ||
|
Novice 
Posts: 6 |
Think about this. If you have kids or not everyone is selfish. Before you judge this statement read this. A couple of people say we WANT kids-so they have a few and live happily ever after. Another couple says we don't WANT- they don't and live happily ever after. The main theme here is WANT. A selfishness that each and everyone of us has guides us thru life if we relize it or not. This is what makes us do or not do. EDGE ------------------ | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 699 |
yea, I wants me some lit'l ones scury'n round the house, dont have any yet. I used to dream about hav'n a boy all the time till my 8 yr relationship ended. I got married, and never had the dream again, I guess my sub-concious knew she werent the right one fer me. Now that Im 31, and think'n I may have found someone I really like and can actually see myself in a relationship with (but tak'n my time, dont wanna make another mistake) I actaully had the dream again, about hav'n a son. Id love to be a dad already, I feel I have alot to offer, and no, I dont think it would fill any kind of void, I dont have any voids, Im happy with my life and the way its going, and I also dont feel I need anyone to take care of me when I get old either. I want my children to have a life of their own when they grow up and not have to worry about me. | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 147 |
Ubermass: I agree with you ! You did the right thing. I think too that people shoudn't save their relationship by having kids. It will maybe work but not in the long run for SURE ! Pamela: That's true that some people have kids to take care of them later but in some way, that's nature... Healthy ones help the sicks.. Back one year ago, my gf wanted to get pg, so we tried and after 2 months, she changed her mind ?!? I was ooook.. And I'm sure happy now that it didn't work !!! She was 20yrs old and now she's going to school... In conclusion, if you're ready emotionally and you got the money, go for it otherwise DON'T Just my .02� | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 123 |
BM, you're a wonderful person,wish there're more people like you. UBERMASS, I understand perfectly how you feel! My daughter got engage four months back to a person she love, but the man wanted to live in a big house & get this, to live with his parents,sisters & their husbands, when my daughter confided in me,I was shocked! I told her the cons with no pro! & being a rational person that she is, she dumped him. As for me I felt blessed at having a rational daughter. | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 91 |
Hey fitnes1, can I help you out in your attempts to have children? PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE. |
All times are ET (US) | |
 |
Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.45c
posted September 17, 2000 03:26 PM
