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 Elite Fitness Bodybuilding, Anabolics, Diet, Life Extension, Wellness, Supplements, and Training Boards
 Chat & Conversation
 Southern Census
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| Author | Topic: Southern Census | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 328 |
Southern census is very funny to those living up north! You dont have to really answer it. >>THE 2000 FEDERAL CENSUS FOR THE SOUTH >> >>Last name: ________________ >>First name: (Check appropriate box) >>(_) Billy-Bob >>(_) Billy-Joe >>(_) Billy-Ray >>(_) Billy-Sue >>(_) Billy-Mae >>(_) Billy-Jack >> >>What does everyone call you? >>(_) Booger >>(_) Bubba >>(_) Junior >>(_) Sissy >>(_) Other___________________ >> >>Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) >> >>Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure >> >>Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right >> >>Occupation: (Check appropriate box) >>(_) Farmer >>(_) Mechanic >>(_) Hair Dresser >>(_) Unemployed >>(_) Dirty Politician >>(_) Preacher >> >>Spouse's Name:_________________________ >> >>2nd Spouse's Name:______________________ >> >>3rd Spouse's Name:______________________ >> >>Lover's Name:___________________________ >> >>Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box) >>(_) Sister >>(_) Brother >>(_) Aunt >>(_) Uncle >>(_) Cousin >>(_) Mother >>(_) Father >>(_) Son >>(_) Daughter >>(_) Pet >> >>Number of children living in household: _____ >> >>Number of children living in shed: ______ >> >>Number that are yours: ______ >> >>Mother's Name: _______________________(If not sure, >>leave blank) >> >>Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, >>leave blank) >> >>Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed) >> >>Do you (_) own or (_) rent your mobile home? (Check >>appropriate box) >> >>Total number of vehicles you own: ___ >>Number of vehicles that still crank: ___ >>Number of vehicles in front yard: ___ >>Number of vehicles in back yard: ___ >>Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___ >> >>Firearms you own and where you keep them: >>____ truck >>____ bedroom >>____ bathroom >>____ kitchen >>____ shed >> >>Model and year of your pickup: 196_ >> >>Do you have a gun rack? >>(_) Yes (_) No; If no, please explain: >> >>Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: >>(_) The National Enquirer >>(_) The Globe >>(_) TV Guide >>(_) Soap Opera Digest >>(_) Rifle and Shotgun >> >>Number of times you've seen a UFO:_____ >> >>Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen >>Elvis:_____ >>Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:_____ >> >>How often do you bathe: >>(_) Weekly >>(_) Monthly >>(_) Not Applicable >> >>Color of eyes: >>Left______ Right_____ >> >>Color of hair: >>(_) Blond >>(_) Black >>(_) Red >>(_) Brown >>(_) White >>(_) Clairol >> >>Color of teeth: >>(_) Yellow >>(_) Brownish-Yellow >>(_) Brown >>(_) Black >>(_) N/A >> >>Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: >>(_)Red-Man >> >>How far is your home from a paved road? >>(_) 1 mile >>(_) 2 miles >>(_) just a whoop-and-a-holler >>(_) road? >> ------------------ On my word unleash Hell!!!     | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 392 |
lol _ # of cinder blocks house sits on _ # of squirrls hanging from clothesline | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 866 |
i dont git it....plus, ive done marked up my monitor with a crayon tryin to answer it.... you made me madder than a possum in a bucket... | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 555 |
haha, thats hilarious | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 236 |
That's funny!!  | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 268 |
LOL! I love those things. I'm originially from West Virginia, Yeah I know me and my 1.5 million relatives (haha). I work in Delaware and about two months ago I was talking to our department admin and she asked me "HOW MANY MILES WAS IT TO YOUR NEAREST NEIGHBOOR?" I laughed so hard I cried! Then she starts in on my southern accent, this from a girl who comes out of SOUTH PHILLY, people from this part of the world should not mate! ------------------ | ||
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Moderator 
Posts: 1454 |
That's as useless as tits on a bull. Matt | ||
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Cool Novice 
Posts: 47 |
Hey Wodin, where at in Deleware do you work? I used to live in Newark and Wilmington, Not sure of names it has been 26 years since then. That is quite funny, I agree there should be no breeding allowed. Any one see the X-files episode, that had the 3 inbreds who lived in a shack in the middle of know where and kept there momma (with no arms or legs) under the bed, except when they wanted some. yuk! Yeah my ex-wife and her husband should have been prevented from bearing children. He is so brain dead. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 268 |
Chesty, I live in OXFORD PA! About 15 + miles NWW of Newark. We just sold our house in Hockessin, Delaware. Smell from all the mushroom growers got to be way to much for us and the area was getting really thick with people. I still don't know what Hockessin means, I spent three years trying to find out - - no one seems to know. I commute into Newark during the week, takes about 20 minutes or so, not bad driving. I worked in Wilmington for four years and that town is plane nasty. If i stepped past one puck ridden, drugged out bum, I've stepped past a thousand. And for some reason they think public urination is OK around that town. PLUS I NEVER IN MY LIFE SAW A SHED TILL I MOVED TO DELAWARE. YOU PUT ALL OUR SHIT IN THE GARAGE LIKE CIVILIZED PEOPLE AND LEFT THE EXPENSIVE BENZ SITTING ON THE ROAD! (Now that is a southern thing....don't know why.) I Saw that episode of the X files bro and it was set around Lancaster, home of the Amish which is about 35 minutes from where I live now. The town we live in now has a bunch of Amish people in it too, talk about fucking inbreading! Slopped forheads on some of these kids could rent out during the winter in the Poconos! Personally I'm dying to move to Arizona in the next six months. I was there on vacation this year, Sedona and fell in love with the area. I've been looking around Flaggstaff and Mesa. ------------------ | ||
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Cool Novice
Posts: 47 |
Depending on what you do for work, you could look into the area I just bought a house in it is about 17 miles north of Phx off I-17. Brand new self contained community with water parks, parks, train to take kiddies around 60 acre park, new schools. My dad used to work at the Chrysler plant in Wilmington, we used to drive over the bridge and I could see the plant down there as we crossed into Maryland to go to Rehoboth (sp) beach I don't know how many times. I heard Deleware was turning into trash, guess it happens. chesty ------------------ Ooooh Rahhh! | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 268 |
Thanks for the offer chesty. I've got some head hunters doing just that bud. I do database management / statistical programming and web development for money. I'm thinking about opening a Golds Gym or something in the Flagstaff area if I can put it together. I would have to sink everything I've got into it but then again, I would at least have a place to work out and my wife wouldn't be complaining about me spending "all that time at the gym." Maybe a combo with an Oxygen bar and a Fruit bar might bring in business. That would be scary. ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 268 |
 See the south is civilized. Where else can you get Chicken and Oral Sex in the same place! ------------------ [This message has been edited by WODIN (edited September 16, 2000).] [This message has been edited by WODIN (edited September 16, 2000).] | ||
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Cool Novice
Posts: 47 |
Well you should be set in the Phx area for a job, all kinds of shit down there for you skills. Flagstaff, kinda small town, it is basically a college town. I don't know how much business you would get, mostly indians and such up there. But hey, anything is possible if you put your mind to it. Well off to the gym to do legs and see if I can attract someone of goodlooking female persuasion. chesty ------------------ Ooooh Rahhh! |
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Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.45c
posted September 15, 2000 04:32 PM
