posted August 18, 2000 12:07 PM                      

no=yes

maybe=no

I'm sorry=you'll be sorry

we need=I want

its your decision=the correct decision should be obvious by now

do whatever you want=you'll pay for this later

we need to talk=I need to complain

sure go ahead=I don't want you to

I'm not upset=of course I'm upset, you moron!

you are SO manly=you need a shave and you sweat a lot

be romantic, turn out the lights=I have flabby thighs

this kitchen is so inconvenient=I want a new house

I want new curtains=and carpeting, and furniture and wallpaper...

I heard a noise=I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me?=I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me=I did something today you are going to hate

I'll be ready in a minute=Kick off your shoes and find a good game on tv

You have to learn to communicate=just agree with me

are you listening to me?=Too late, you're dead

Men's English
I'm hungry=I'm hungry

I'm sleepy=I'm sleepy

I'm tired=I'm tired

Do you want to go to a movie?=I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner?=I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I call you sometime?=I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

May I have this dance?=I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Nice dress!=Nice cleavage!

You look tense, let me give you a massage=I want to fondle you

What's wrong?=What stupid self inflicted psychological truama is it this time?

I'm bored=Do you want to have sex?

I love you=Lets have sex now!

I love you too=Okay, I said it. Now can we have sex?

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair=I liked it better before.

Let's talk=I'll impress you by showing you I am a deep guy then maybe sex?

Will you marry me?=I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with anyone else.

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Patience is a bitter plant, but it has sweet fruit.

posted August 18, 2000 12:11 PM                      

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"Pain, is just weakness leaving your body"

"...damn you for not giving my TEST" - Metallica

"After this show i'll be fat and happy again.....If i make it to the show...." - Lee Priest

"Lets put some weight on the bar.." - Shawn Ray

"IT DOESN'T MATTER" - The Rock

posted August 18, 2000 12:12 PM                      

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Patience is a bitter plant, but it has sweet fruit.

posted August 18, 2000 12:14 PM                   

Men's:

That feels good, baby = I can't remember your name.

I have to get up early = Get off me and take your ass home.

posted August 18, 2000 12:24 PM                   

Let's lie in this position = your ass is blocking the TV.

You have beautiful eyes = I could really use a blowjob.

posted August 18, 2000 12:37 PM                      

------------------
"Pain, is just weakness leaving your body"

"...damn you for not giving my TEST" - Metallica

"After this show i'll be fat and happy again.....If i make it to the show...." - Lee Priest

"Lets put some weight on the bar.." - Shawn Ray

"IT DOESN'T MATTER" - The Rock

posted August 18, 2000 12:46 PM                      

Here's another...

A guy with a black eye boards a plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye too.

He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?"

The other guy says, "Well it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So instead of saying, 'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to TITTSburgh.'...so she socked me a good one."

The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.' But I accidentally said, 'You've ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-assed, bitch!'

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Patience is a bitter plant, but it has sweet fruit.

posted August 18, 2000 12:48 PM                      

let me cook for you= i have no money for a restaurant

lets go back to your place= i live with my parents

my car is in the shop= i dont own a car

damn, i forgot my wallet= damn, i aint got no money

im a venture capitalist= i am unemployed

wanna go hiking?= wanna do something that doesn't cost anything?

posted August 18, 2000 12:57 PM                      

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Patience is a bitter plant, but it has sweet fruit.

posted August 18, 2000 01:17 PM                      

Hi- Are you gonna have sex with me or am I wastin my time?

My name is ____ - I'm only tell in you this so that in the event we have sex you know what name to scream.

Where you from? - Tell me where you live so after we screw once I know where not to go for a while.

Tell me about your family - You ain't got any mob members in your family that'll kill me do ya?

posted August 18, 2000 04:34 PM                      

BEEEEEP - Wrong answer

We had the conversation again later, and Sky had no clue that we discussed it prior. She admited that she can't do two things at once

JUSTICE HAS PREVAILED!!!

I RULE!!!

NA na nana na!

posted August 18, 2000 04:42 PM                      

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Patience is a bitter plant, but it has sweet fruit.

posted August 18, 2000 04:49 PM                      

HA - I just checked the history...all you said was that you called the cops...not that anyone was TOWED...hahahahah...I RULE

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Patience is a bitter plant, but it has sweet fruit.

posted August 18, 2000 05:10 PM                      

But for the record...I RULE!!!

Next time your car breaks down, call the cops and have them pick it up and move it for you SKY. You must have supercops in CA, that can carry a car in one hand and a donut in the other