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 I really fucked up this time...
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| Author | Topic: I really fucked up this time... |
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YellowD98 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 523) |
posted August 16, 2000 11:04 AM
 
It all started on Friday, when my girlfriend decided to get a new apartment with three friends. I hated the idea, there was no reason for her to move there. She lived in a nice house with her mother, going to a nice school and worked just down the road from her home and school. Her house was only about 10 minutes from mine, so we saw each other often. This was the same girl that 2 weeks ago I wasn't sure I wanted to stay with. But the more I thought about it, the more I knew I needed to be with her. I simply took it for granted all that she gave me, and everything we've done together. So basically, we hang out Friday night together at her place by ourselves. Then that night on the phone, I told her the only thing I've ever hidden from her before in our 2 year relationship, that I was using illegal substances. She completely went ballistic on me, crying and yelling. She started blabbering nonsense about how we could never have kids, and that there was heroin hidden in the steroids. I knew she didn't know any better, but it plain made me more upset. So all of Saturday and Saturday night Im trying to comfort her, and explain it all. We hang out at her place and she comes over to my house for the night. Everything is good. Sunday comes around, and she's more upset than she was starting Saturday morning. Now she's yelling at me about how I lied to her, and betrayed her. She's building up here. I also find out some shit head is at her apartment alone with her, a cousin of one of her roomates, so I get my azz over there ready to kick his ass. When I get there we watch a movie and she tells me not to do anything and that she only loves me. Im a very jealous person and now Im starting to feel very wrong. Something in me just isn't right now. I knew that asshole was hitting on my girl, and she was responding. What in the hell is going on? Only a few days ago, we were talking about how we were getting married and now Im worried about some asshole? It was like a romance twilight zone. We talk more that night, and she's feeling better. On Monday, she gets upset in the morning again, but we talk it out again and I help her at her apartment. She seems ok with everything again. I see her Tuesday morning and take her to work and buy her some lunch. It felt like nothing was ever wrong in the first place. Like we had just lapsed into some awkward dimension and now we were back where we belonged. It felt good again. The rest of the afternoon while she was at work, I thought about her. I had to pick up my cousin who was arriving from NY, but god did I think about her. More than I had when we first met, its strange what conflicts can do to a relationship. Tuesday night I call her. I ask her to come over and she's really upset. She tells me she is unsure about our relationship together and our future. My girlfriend has never ever ever talked like this to me. I was always the one who didn't know, but I never told her that. She was telling me, she wasnt sure if she wanted to be with me?! I tell her to come over and she said she would. Im very upset now, even after 5 days, she didn't understand or trust me. I told her I would quit, and I told her that I wouldnt lie to her. She knew it, and I knew she was just trying to find an excuse now. An excuse for what though? There was something else, and I could feel it. I walked out and paced to the front of my neighboorhood, I walked around the front of it, and tried to relieve some of the tension and tightness I was feeling. If anyone has ever had a relationship breakdown, maybe you can relate. Its the worst feeling in the entire world, and I hated it. I hated myself for feeling this way about a girl who seemed like every other girl when we first met. She came to my house, and I tried to hug her, but she was solid and unresponsive. It didn't feel right. We sat down in my room and talked, we talked about everything. I insisted she tell me whatever she was hiding me and she would not tell me a word. I knew it was there, I could flat out tell. Then she told me about the asshole cousin of her friend, that he was interested in her and that she wasn't sure about us. Oh my god, I thought I had felt aweful before this. It was like, smash... 2 years for nothing?! How could she talk like this to me?! We were inseperable, invincible, in love. What in jesus christ was she talking about? We talked more, and now I was more upset than she was. By the end of the night, we had resolved to stay together, and said we would start again. We made promises to each other, and promises that I meant. She means more to me than I ever imagined, but it should have never got to this before I realized it. I had treated her badly recently, like I promised I never would. This morning, she wasn't home. I feel empty again, and upset. I just want it to be like it was before all this happened. I want her back in her home, I want that simplicity and innocence in our relationship again, and I want the security we both had for each other. Things get difficult as time goes on, but we have never been tested like this. I'll never regret meeting her though. IP: Logged |
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skydancer Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 700) |
posted August 16, 2000 11:16 AM
 Relationships are a thing of beauty, are they not? I'm wondering why you chose to hide the a/s from her from the beginning? I suppose its a big deal if you don't understand about that sort of thing...she seems to be hinging and awful lot on it. And the thing about the other guy being interested in her is odd. It sounds to me like she is not really wanting to work it out Yellow. People change in a relationship...sometimes that means growing apart. Its not pretty and it hurts like hell. I know because I'm going through it now myself. I can't really give you any good words of advice except hang in there, everything does work out the way its supposed too. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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JohnnyO Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 243) |
posted August 16, 2000 11:16 AM
I would try talking to her one more time, and if no progress is being made maybe make plans to find another... i know how bad that can hurt I really feel for you. IP: Logged |
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Rotten Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 381) |
posted August 16, 2000 11:20 AM
Bro, your gut told you something was wrong, and you should have listened. Finally telling her was the right thing to do. Her response at first was warranted, but the bullshit afterwards WAS an excuse. This is probably not the first time around this cuz, she's probably been out with him or worse, she will go farther with him, she will cheat. Not my opinion, I know. Give her some space for her, and for yourself. She's gonna do what she wants whether you are there guarding her or not. If you smother her, than she's gone for good. Back off for awhile, let her come to you, and see what you feel then. I'm not gonna say you should have told her, because its too late for that, so fuck it. Concentraite on you, your job, your life, your lifting, your boys, your fam, whatever. Back off and she'll come to you if she loves you. If she doesn't, fuck her. Too damn many others out there. Two years isn't shit. It hurts at first, but it'll make you stronger. Plus, if you back off, you can see if you really want her or your just jealous of another. Let me know if you want to chat IP: Logged |
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havoc Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 779) |
posted August 16, 2000 11:21 AM
I know what your feeling, been there. First, that is sad that she is saying shit like that being that you guys have all that time and commitment under your belt. Second, guys are guys , they are always going to try to hit on your girl even when you get up to go to the bathroom. Third, you never realize what you got till its gone, taking shit for granted is a bad habit that many have. Fourth, I tolerate no disrespect whatsoever, this cousin fag knew she had a man(you) and still didnt give a fuck, here is what I recommend, use your Shaolin skills, incorporate the Tiger Style technique then move to the Lotus, next try the Tiger Crane on his bitch ass, now move to the Wu Tang Sword Style(this shit is invincible), what I am saying is confront this fucker and ask why he disrespected you like that, if he gives you a smart ass remark crack his fucking skull(you have my permission). Fifth, that was kind of shallow of your girl to compromise your relationship with the cousin guy. If shit doesnt work out she will realize that down the road and by then you will have a Anna Nicole Smith look alike at your side and she will have to deal with that. Peace and Good Luck, sorry your in this situation. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Snow White Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 46) |
posted August 16, 2000 11:22 AM
I feel bad for you, y, but there are some things I don't understand. First, why would you hate the idea she got an apartment with her friend and isn't living at home with Mommy? Does this directly effect your ability to control her?? You seem threatened by her exerting some independence when, in actuallity, this is a good thing. You say you treated her badly in the past, and now you're sorry. Should she really forget this?? You wan things to be back to where they were before your little world was shattered - maybe she doesn't. Does her opinion, wants, desires have any impact on you? Are you listening to her or hearing what you want to hear?? I hope this works out if it were meant to be, but you need an attitude adjustment. IP: Logged |
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Future One Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 190) |
posted August 16, 2000 11:25 AM
Buddy, I know how you feel, man, I hope things work out, but it doesn't look too hopeful. If the girl loses interest in you, them you're finished... ------------------ IP: Logged |
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havoc Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 779) |
posted August 16, 2000 11:29 AM
Snow White you took a negative position on this subject, put yourself in His shoes if you will, this girl is obviously young and doesnt realize what she has, yes her independence is important but she needs to handle this situation in a more respectable way, like I said she is young and will realize her mistake as time passes. PS. Tell Grumpy I just picked some Afghani for his monkey ass and let Sleepy know he is smoking too damn much, oh and tell Happy "I told him so", thanks. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Slopain Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1414) |
posted August 16, 2000 11:32 AM
I understand and unlike SnoWhite i can relate for one simple reason she wouldnt be kickin it with guys at home unless it was yellow. Yellow i feel for ya bro, i am going through some shit right now as well. Maybe I will post about it but probably not - Id rather just do what I gotta do. Just remember, if you think there is a chance that she will cheat on you she is not the one for you period. Imagine how she will be 10 years down the road when your working most of the time, and shes at the office with some guy trying to hit on her. Do you think she will waiver? I dont know either way - but if your not sure then you cannot proceed with the relationship, unless you dont mind a wife/girl that has wandering eyes. Slopain IP: Logged |
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Your_Moms_Kneepads Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 380) |
posted August 16, 2000 12:13 PM
If she cant get over the fact that you have used or use steroids then she isnt going to accept you-as a person. Its not like you have been shooting smack or running a meth lab with your cousin Phil in his trailer. If she even though about sleeping with someone else or leaving you for some opportunistic fuckhead you are better off without her. Yes it will hurt for awhile but you do not want to be with someone with whom you cannot share EVERYTHING. If she had told you that she had been with wommen before (saying that you were opposed to it on the grounds of being immoral ) and you said that you no longer loved her what kind of man would you be? ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Cleaner Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 641) |
posted August 16, 2000 12:26 PM
Yellow after 14 years I could go on and on! Here the bottom line - either this will confrim your relationship and make it stronger or it will tear it down. Keep talking about it and so long as there is good communication going that positive. Two always check your gut - man I have learned to live by it and it might be time for yellow to do some lookin in the corners of her life. You need to find out for yourself whats up! Then you can be straight in your head about whats going on. IP: Logged |
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Stillhere Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 86) |
posted August 16, 2000 07:14 PM
Bump the GUT!!! That's right STILLHERE would not be here if it was'nt for gut! Hey, it sounds like she was waiting for a reason to dump you? Or you might be a very jelous guy! Either way, that guy thing in her home sounds fishy... Hey, AS is ok and she should be happy that you take care of your body. Anyways you cant be on that stuff forever. GET BIG NOW! dont let it get you down bro and I do not htink you "fucked up"
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Dlady27 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1308) |
posted August 16, 2000 07:29 PM
sorry I might be reading this late in the week but here is my opinion; GET OUT NOW!! I just got done doing the same thing to my boyfriend. I drug it out for over 2 months of wanting to break up with him, I started seeing other guys when he wasnt around me, and always using being with my girlfriends as an excuse to him. I am WARNING YOU NOW! I did this same shit she is doing to you now, there isnt anything to SAVE believe me, esp. if she was unresponsive to you when you try to be affectionate with her. The best thing is for you to try to be friends and just talk every so often, but no longer date her, I am telling you she will just use you from now on. I have been here and done this shit! Sorry, but yes us women sometimes are BITCHES. I do not want to see you get hurt worse than need be, so there it is. If you want to talk let me know, we can compare notes... so email me if needed. IP: Logged |
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champion Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 353) |
posted August 16, 2000 07:43 PM
She's fucking the guy. IP: Logged |
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kram696969 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 546) |
posted August 16, 2000 08:31 PM
i agree with what Rotten said. if she has thought about it, then she will probably keep thinking about it and act on it. sorry bro, but that is the facts. find someone who will not do that to you. or better yet, get a dog, they are better. They wont cheat on you. Maybe you should take a break from the opposite sex department. not turn gay, but take time for yourself and do what YOU want to do. i know it is hard, but focus on making yourself happy. cuz if your not, no one else is going to be happy around you, and who wants a grumpy friend??? anywayz, hope it works out. kram-mark IP: Logged |
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lc576 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 95) |
posted August 16, 2000 09:09 PM
It sounds like both of you are young. I'd say let it go, and don't do anything to mess up your life, like beat the guy's ass. The only thing that will come of it is you in jail and without a girlfriend. When I went off to college my girl slowly became more and more distant. One night I said lets see a movie, she said she couldn't she had a project due. I went over to her place late and she was out front kissing a guy goodbye after their date. I wanted to rage bro, I just kept driving and whined like a little bitch for about 8 months. Once I got back on my feet life was good and continued to that way for many years. You'll get over it, think of it as a learning experience. IP: Logged |
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Sight1 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 146) |
posted August 17, 2000 03:16 AM
IT IS LONG, BUT READ THIS... I went through the exact same thing... the only difference is my relationship was for 5 years. My girlfriend and I were High School sweethearts. I wasn't mean to her, but I did take her feelings for granted. It is hard to see, but easy to do. Relationships get complacent. I hope I don't offend or stereotype any ladies on the board, but women need to know that they are special to you and why they are. So do guys... we get it from other women looking at us and pressing our egos. Women get it from us telling them they are beautiful, taking them out alone and with "our" friends, etc. My GF and I broke up, and I was lost. She wouldn't talk to me for 4 months. Pride took over... I got over her. She came back. I was the happiest bastard in the universe. 3 weeks in she told me that she had feelings for someone she worked with. I was crushed beyond belief. After a lot of talking/pleading she told me that she wanted to be w/ me, but I could tell her feelings were elsewhere. I gut-checked it out for 4 weeks, and I was a miserable pathetic wreck. I wish I could spare you this. If your relationship has gotten monotonous any fresh start looks appealing. I just want you to know that I feel for you, and you have to do what is best for you. If she is telling you that she might be interested in someone else let her go and find out. If you persuade her into staying with you... you will be an insecure SOB for the duration of your relationship. And that will be short. UPDATE: I will be married to my High School sweetheart on Aug. 11, 2000. "If you love something let it go. If it loves you it will come back." Fucked up but true. Sorry this post was so long, but I wanted to relate. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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