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 work sayings
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| Author | Topic: work sayings |
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mikey Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 69) |
posted August 15, 2000 10:53 AM
  
Phrases you wish you could say at work 1. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again... 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message... 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. 10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit. 11. I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid. 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 23. No, my powers can only be used for good. 24. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication. 25. Who me? I just wander from room to room 26. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...? 27. Do I look like a people person? 28. This isn't an office. It's Hell! with fluorescent lighting. 29. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 31. You!... Off my planet! 32. Does your train of thought have a caboose? 33. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 34. A PBS mind in an MTV world. 35. Allow me to introduce my selves. 36. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed it. 40. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 41. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 42. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. 43. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1? 44. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 45. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? 46. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done. 47. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 48. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks. 49. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 50. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 51. Oh, here comes the seagull manager, making alot of noise, shitting all over the place, then leaving. IP: Logged |
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Thick dog Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1675) |
posted August 15, 2000 11:00 AM
HeHe, you must work in a mental hospital. The best thing to say at work is to ask the secretary "if she knows what the difference between a ceasar salad and blowjob is." When she says "No", say "Great. Let's have lunch." IP: Logged |
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Gilbyag Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 469) |
posted August 15, 2000 11:07 AM
put your recycle bin on your desk and label it "In Box", end everything with "in accordance with the propehcy" and when asked to do something always respond "would you like fries with that" Those are my fav's IP: Logged |
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mikey Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 69) |
posted August 15, 2000 11:10 AM
Thick - Sometiimes I think I do work in a mental hospital. Other times I know its just the circus!! IP: Logged |
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FlexB Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 920) |
posted August 15, 2000 11:25 AM
Our office saying at my job is "What constitutes an emergency on YOUR behalf doesn't necessarily mean it's an emergency on MY behalf."...that's for all the irate asswipe customers that want service NOW! ------------------ IP: Logged |
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