posted August 11, 2000 09:58 AM            

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh.

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996

"You guys line up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach.

Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements: "I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."

Lou Duva, Veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

1992 - Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."

1982 - Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina Statebasketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting
a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an
uncle or an aunt."

1991 - Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach,telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."

1991 - Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

1991 - Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

1987 - Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son,looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

posted August 12, 2000 03:35 AM            

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"Pain, is just weakness leaving your body"

"...damn you for not giving my TEST" - Metallica

"After this show i'll be fat and happy again.....If i make it to the show...." - Lee Priest

"Lets put some weight on the bar.." - Shawn Ray