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 George Spellwin's ELITE FITNESS Discussion Boards
 Chat & Conversation
 April 6
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| Author | Topic: April 6 |
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Rotten Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 301) |
posted August 09, 2000 12:42 PM
   Thats the day that the OBGYN said that my GF is having a baby. I'm sterile so you can bet I'm a little pissed. Next time pizzaman comes to town he better watch out. All kidding aside, if you don't like kids, or never wanted kids I GUARANTEE that knowing that you and another person created a life will change your mind. I know that deep inside (And I mean deep...14" deep) my girlfriend is a little Rotten just waiting to get out and fuck with the world. This kid has no chance in hell of ever being "normal" with me as a father. I mean, I've already turned her other son into a little Rotten wannabe. The kid is 6 and he know what channel is the Playboy channel on DSS. We tried locking it out, but I kept unlocking it every 15 min. or so, whenever me and Ms. Sock needed some time together. So my GF got rid of it. Needless to say I left a little surprise for her. I waited til she fell asleep, spanked my little soldier, and he left her a peace offering all over her eyelashes and hair. If you've never heard an Italian girl who was a bitch anyway in the morning, wake up to find her eyes glued shut, : ) it was something to hear. Just ask my neighbors three houses down. Now I have to pay for counceling for their five year old son whos afraid of the crazy lady screaming about cutting someones fireman off. You don't threaten to cut off someones fireman! I don't care how many eyelashes it pulls out trying to see your way to the bathroom to wash your face. So here we've got my GF whos pissed walking around wondering why there isn't a match to any of her socks. I told her that I use her socks so that she could participate in some cosmic way. Her son is wondering why his little bald headed mushroom cap won't point down after he soaps it too much in the shower. She starts screaming "Oh shit, I've forgotten that I have a doctors appointment this morning, you have to take (name excluded to protect the innocent) to school and feed him breakfast. I'm thinking I have to be at work at 8:30 and your doctor appointment is at 9:00, and I have to take him to school?!? Then I remember that I glued her eyes shut this morning and she's running a little late. So I throw her other little bastard into my Jeep, he likes the new Nelly CD, so we're pissing off all the old people in my neighborhood by playing it way too loud for 8:15. We stop at McRottens running too late for work to cook, and pick him up a couple of breakfast burritos. I almost get him an OJ with it, and remember that the school has daily field trips and I have to pay for them plus daycare cost (???), so I decided he needs some caffiene and sugar to make their day as fun as they've made mine, so he gets a Dr.P. We pull up to school, he knows that I'm late, so he eats S L O W L Y just to piss me off (I taught him well), I push him out and drive off. I'm taking the four lane highway (thats big for my part of the country) and this BITCH, and I mean bitch because she knows that she doing this on purpose) blocks the passing lane so I can't get around the convoy of tractors (I told you that was big for my part of the country) This goes on for three freakin miles. I'm not riding her ass at all, just occasionally flashing my lights to let her know I was in a hurry. She's looking in the mirror and laughing! She finally gets over in her brand new grandma driving cadi, so I need to leave her a present. I cant get anything from my fireman at this short notice, so I look around my Jeep. There is a half drank Dr. P in the console. ; ) I chuck that thing right into her lap with the lid off. He shoots, he scores! Besides that my morning has been boring. Got a pile of paperwork. The utility company is charging me for an apartment I had eight years ago, that I paid when I got my new house. But they "don't keep records of payments, only outstanding charges" So Rotten is screwed out of $113.00 again, because my GF hates clutter and throws out all old receipts and checks. So anyway, thats my morning. I left a picture for skydancer and haven't gotone in return yet, Dlady never wrote back, and missgalaxy said she was too depressed to send me one. Can you believe it, a post without one mention of a llama. IP: Logged |
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special_bill Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 348) |
posted August 09, 2000 12:47 PM
are you really hunter s. thompson? ------------------ IP: Logged |
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missgalaxy Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 262) |
posted August 09, 2000 12:48 PM
you should put the pipe down brotha. IP: Logged |
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Rotten Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 301) |
posted August 09, 2000 12:48 PM
Who??? IP: Logged |
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special_bill Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 348) |
posted August 09, 2000 12:52 PM
nevermind...good story...are you really sterile?.. IP: Logged |
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havoc Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 689) |
posted August 09, 2000 12:53 PM
Weird but I like it. IP: Logged |
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moe dank Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1421) |
posted August 09, 2000 12:54 PM
well this post made my fucking day. Funniest shit i have read on here since the tosser story! IP: Logged |
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Rotten Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 301) |
posted August 09, 2000 12:55 PM
Nope, I've got supersperm. IP: Logged |
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Thick dog Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1525) |
posted August 09, 2000 01:00 PM
The only advice I have is that if your GF is threaten to slice and dice your money maker, you may want to sleep on your stomach for a while. Also, you need to sharpen your aim. Shoot for the mouth. If you squirt enough, maybe it will harden up and she won't be able to talk. Would you rather have a dumb bitch with 20/20 vision or a blind screaming bitch? I think it's a pretty simple choice. IP: Logged |
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Rotten Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 301) |
posted August 09, 2000 01:12 PM
TD, good idea with one flaw. Her mouth is the only sexual organ that I am allowed to use for the time being. If I seal that up, without the Playboy channel? I'm screwed. You'll read all about it in the paper "Mans nuts blow up and kills self, family, and all neighbors in a three block radius. Film at 11" I tought your nuts were supposed to shut down on a cycle. Mine kicked into overdrive. If anyone can recommend a spermbank that pays for donations by the gallon, I'll split the profit with you if you help me collect the samples. IP: Logged |
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ryry Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 773) |
posted August 09, 2000 01:48 PM
wait, let me get this straight. your gf got prenant and your sterile. i'd be having a fit right about now... its time to regulate ------------------ "The greatest risk is not taking one." IP: Logged |
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Rotten Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 301) |
posted August 09, 2000 01:53 PM
Nope, not sterile...Just kidding...Actually I might be after this cycle...??? IP: Logged |
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Mariatheprincess Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 1) |
posted August 09, 2000 07:05 PM
What the fuck...If this is what steroids do to you then my boyfriends done IP: Logged |
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FoeLife Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 39) |
posted August 09, 2000 07:22 PM
LMAO!!! Dude thats some funny shit. I'm not really new to the board, just been sittin back a while readin up on everything. Thought I would just let you know man you guys are hilarious! Whats up w/ the llamas though?? LOL! IP: Logged |
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skydancer Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 633) |
posted August 09, 2000 09:45 PM
Personally, I LIKE waking up with my eyelids glued shut so I don't see what the problem is there. But take the advice given to you and sleep on your stomach for a while...you want to keep your fireman safe. And if you are driving a jeep, why didn't you just put that puppy in 4-low and crawl right over that ladies ass who was blocking your way? How did the kid do at the field trip full of Dr P and Mc Rotten's?? ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Rotten Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 301) |
posted August 09, 2000 09:53 PM
Skydancer where were you when I needed you? There's alot more eyelid glue where that came from. The kid had a great time on his fieldtrip, he told me ALL about it while I was making his dinner IP: Logged |
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