posted July 29, 2000 09:44 PM            

At Ohio State it takes only two. One to change it, and one to throw the old bulb at Michigan students.

At Michigan it takes five. One to change the bulb, two to talk about how Bo would have done it, and two more to explain how they did it every bit as well as any Ivy Leaguer.

At Northwestern it takes three. One to change the bulb, and two to phone a friend at Ohio State to get instructions.

At Michigan State it takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three to figure out how to get high off the old one.

At Wisconsin it takes six. One to change it, two to mix the drinks, and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

At Illinois it takes seven, and each one gets four semester credit hours for it.

At Indiana it takes eight. One to screw it in, and seven to discuss how much brighter it shines during basketball season.

At Minnesota it takes ten. Two to figure out how to screw it in, and eight to find an ugly enough lampshade to match their school colors.

At Penn Sate it takes 100. One to change it, 49 to talk about how they do it better than Penn, and 50 who realize it's all a lie.

At Purdue, it takes 12. One to change the bulb, five to take pictures, four fraternity pledges to get naked and run through the fountain screaming "They changed the Bulb!", and two engineers to run a study on the whole thing.

At Iowa it takes none. There's no electricity in Iowa.

posted July 30, 2000 12:01 AM            

But when you get right down to it, Florida State kicks the Big10's ass for partying, and could beat a Big10 all star team in football.