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 Etiquette/Respect Question
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| Author | Topic: Etiquette/Respect Question |
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Slopain Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 780) |
posted July 07, 2000 11:55 AM
  
I just found out a friend of mines, dad has died. There will be a wake tonight from 6-8pm. I will not be able to make it until 7, is this disrespectful if I cant show until then - this is the last thing I would want to do. I have been lucky enough never to go to a wake - so I don't know what happens and if its like an open thing or a formal start and finish time. Formal clothes necessary I assume? appreciate any help... Slopain IP: Logged |
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Thick dog Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 830) |
posted July 07, 2000 11:58 AM
My condolences to you and your friend. It is not disrespectful to show up late. I'm sure your friend will understand. Wear something formal. IP: Logged |
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I'D RATHER BE DEADLIFTING Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 75) |
posted July 07, 2000 11:58 AM
It is is a very tough time for anyone who goes through this. My suggestion is to be there for your friend. He'll need the support. Dress nicely and show up whenever you can. A lot of times there are people going in and out of those things. So when you get there, their should be people outside. Just go in and pay your respects and be whatever your friend needs you to be. IP: Logged |
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Slopain Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 780) |
posted July 07, 2000 11:58 AM
Is a wake when they show the body or is it the church thing that goes on when you speak of the person? ignorant slopain IP: Logged |
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Dlady27 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 509) |
posted July 07, 2000 12:01 PM
Slo, I just went and asked my boss, (he is actually here today) And he said yes, that IT IS improper to go in the middle of the wake, because it is just like an actual service. At the home or a special place of the diseast. So you are better off to wait until 8, when it is over and just apologize for not being able to make the wake, They will be grateful that you at least paid your respects. no they usually arent at a church. [This message has been edited by Dlady27 (edited July 07, 2000).] IP: Logged |
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havoc Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 214) |
posted July 07, 2000 12:01 PM
Wakes are for people to come and pay their respects, it isnt rude to show up late, wakes last for 2 to 3 hours so everyone can pay their respects, their isnt an end to a wake until the last person leaves, being an hour late is defenitely ok. Sorry you have to go to one though. IP: Logged |
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Thick dog Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 830) |
posted July 07, 2000 12:02 PM
When they show the body it is called the view. I believe the wake is when they talk about the person. IP: Logged |
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Slopain Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 780) |
posted July 07, 2000 12:04 PM
hmmm kind of a little bit of conflicting info here. Thanks for the kind words, my friend and his dad are both very nice people. Slopain IP: Logged |
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Dlady27 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 509) |
posted July 07, 2000 12:07 PM
Slopain, since my day is boring right now I will do some searching for you okay? so give me some time.... ------------------ IP: Logged |
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FlexB Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 477) |
posted July 07, 2000 12:07 PM
Yeah.....this is definetly a time where you can honestly say "better late than never". Your friend will understand. Don't wear jeans!!! Wear some khakis and a collar shirt if you don't have a suit or anything. Sorry to hear about your friends Dad. I have been there, beleive me. IP: Logged |
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riptchick Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 152) |
posted July 07, 2000 12:08 PM
Just went through this a couple months ago...Trust me, show up when you can and dress nicely....Your friend will appreciate it and he'll need your support. IP: Logged |
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Dlady27 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 509) |
posted July 07, 2000 12:18 PM
Here you go Slopain... http://www.toad.net/~sticker/wake.html IP: Logged |
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Slopain Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 780) |
posted July 07, 2000 12:24 PM
thanks for the help and research, I will wear a suit. and will show up a little late, but as early as possible. times like these... Slopain IP: Logged |
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havoc Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 214) |
posted July 07, 2000 12:25 PM
Slo, I am 100% irish, this isnt ancient ireland or a traditional thing, show up when you can, youll be alright. IP: Logged |
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supersizeme Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 48) |
posted July 07, 2000 12:40 PM
Yeah a wake isn't really a ceremony. There's a casket on display and for the duration of the wake it's pretty much people standing around talking. Generally the first thing you do when you arrive is say hello to some people and then walk up to the casket and pay your respects. Your friend will probably appreciate the fact that you showed up much more than he would appreciate your "politeness" in not showing up because you would be late. IP: Logged |
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Cleaner Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 444) |
posted July 07, 2000 12:49 PM
Its three hours long so people can fit it into thier lives. They want everyone to have a chance to say goodbye. Shit if someone talked for three hours at my wake, I would come back and clean his clock. Its a time for people to talk, comfort and remember the person who has past. It is one of the tuffest things we as people deal with. I can say that I have been to way to many. Your friend will be very happy to see you. He will be happy to have a friend to lean on - after all his world just got rocked. Sorry for your lose - peace IP: Logged |
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George Spellwin Administrator (Total posts: 387) |
posted July 07, 2000 01:52 PM
My condolences Slopain. George IP: Logged |
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45Plates Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 329) |
posted July 07, 2000 01:59 PM
Slopain- Sorry to hear that bro, my condolences to you and your friend. By all means show up it's better late then never, were nice clothes:Khakis and a colered shirt with a tie for example, pay your respects and be there for your friend. IP: Logged |
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Tony72 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 73) |
posted July 07, 2000 04:55 PM
Sorry to hear about your friend bro... To answer your question , no its not disrepectful to show up late.He will be more than happy just to see that your showing your respect. Tony IP: Logged |
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MattTheSkywalker Moderator (Total posts: 1162) |
posted July 07, 2000 05:05 PM
Sorry for your loss. I gotta disagree with Dlady here. Get there when you can - wakes are for offering support to the family of the deceased and to remember the person who has died. The funeral itself would be a time when puctuality is of the utmost importance. Sorry bro. Matt IP: Logged |
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BACKDRAFT Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 145) |
posted July 07, 2000 05:27 PM
My farther past away last year this fuckin stupid month,and i can say that i appreciated my friends and family who could come,the last thing on my mind was if they were late,just showing up to pay there respects was enough.I was pissed off at some people who did'nt come,fuck'em times like this are when you find out who really your friends are.I send my condolences IP: Logged |
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Slopain Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 780) |
posted July 07, 2000 07:03 PM
Yeah thanks for the support fellas, like family. - I will be attending a little late, but I am sure he doesn't care about promptness at a time like this. Slopain IP: Logged |
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Kaisersosay Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 212) |
posted July 07, 2000 07:12 PM
Slo,sorry about the lose.I think it's ok to be late,just dress nice like you said.Just don't be late for the furnal.I was asked to be a paul barer at my friends and i got so drunk the night before(only way i knew how to handle it),I was late and they asked someone else.I still Regret it to this day.sorry again IP: Logged |
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