posted June 28, 2000 10:18 AM         

Lorenzo - I love you analogy, but maybe he is a Classic? Maybe not.
Seeseerider - you have a point, I don't know if it is so much of a low self esteem thing but more of a knowing that someone has so much potential thing. I have had plenty of boyfriends and am not insecure about "getting someone". Since he has stopped using, he has gotten really into lifting, excercise and nutrition which is also inspiring me. He is actually the one who introduced me to this board, though he doesnt use it anymore.

Cleaner - He does not go back to the places that he used to. His friends have been very supportive of him and he spends time with the healthy ones. The ones who have issues themselves are the ones who have not been so supportive of what he is doing. Cleaner - How long have you been sober? Has the bodybuilding helped? Did you go to rehab? You obviously don't have to answer if you do't want to.

posted June 28, 2000 12:27 PM         

In any event he has a strong addictive personality. I do and all my friends growing up did. Addictions to sex, drugs, all types of thrills. And there is one thing that links ALL addictive behaviors - THE NEED FOR A BIGGER HIT. I have not done any drugs or drinking for over a decade and a half but lately I feel a strong need to sort of return to my wild roots. I had a high school friend (I graduated in 1980) who I use to party with, he went straight for years worked for a senator in Washington and then developed a really cool interactive medical program. he made alot of money, got married 9ot of all people a Mormon straight laced girl) and had a child. Then 2 years ago fell off the wagon for the first time in years with a shot of heroin and died from the first injection.

posted June 28, 2000 01:24 PM            

I mean REAL LONG TERM HERE.....NOt just oh we had a great weekend or month togther....When Dealing with addicts what everyone has said is right...they never fully get over it, but Don't give up on him if you really love him, and you believe he loves you...Just give it ALOT of time and let things work themselves out...Don't be to quick or brash to pass any judgements on him based on the way he is treating you now, this sounds like a Long Term wait here...decide what it's worth to you and stick with it.....

posted June 28, 2000 05:50 PM            

No didn't do rehab, like I need so fat ass, whopper munchin ass telling me I have bad habits. I made a change in my life. Told everyone that I partied with I was done and we had a blow out. They are all still livin it up and are getting no where with thier lives. So long as they are I don't want anything to do with them. Besides it gets old being watched everywhere you go. There are prices to pay for this even years later I do not have alot of friends because your whole world gets wrapped up in the life style. That why I asked if he was around the same peolpe.

I'm not one of those bigger than that assholes. I lite up this new years why not only happens every thousands years. Everything in moderation - with a positive perspective, does that make sense. Ok, I drink every now and then - do I get blasted almost never, So do I worry about it NO. If you went to rehab they would tell you that you couldn't handle it - fuk them while I slap them up side there heads. One thing I can't stand is that over bearing I know the only way. Everyone is different so each person will need to do this in thier own way. Bottom line is the same thing just need to find away to get it done.

Its a life style just like Bodybuilding. It will require alot of effort at first and then after a while it will become old hat. He will have his hands full for at least the first year.

Also let me say after fracturing my back I have had my runs with pain pills and that can be hard also. If he is talking about it and understands what is up then he is moving right. How he crosses the finish line doesn't matter as long as he is in the race.

I wouldn't jump him into BB until he is more stable with whats up and going on in his life and he has dealt with it on his terms and is getting a everyday groove going. Then move him up into more thing and hobbie - he will need thing to fill time instead of looking for drugs and BB is a good one.

I hope this helps, take it slow no harm in that. Be honest with him and vioce your concerns, now is the time to get alot of this in the open. You will both be better for it. Don't beat yourself up on this relationship thing. We all mess up! So long as you can talk about it, you can make it better.

posted June 28, 2000 06:41 PM            

peace romeo

posted June 28, 2000 06:50 PM            

True it is kind of hypocritical for me to say seeing how i have chosen weed plants to love, but without shit loads of money i will never be happy, but that is just me. Just give him a chance! PS if this is ami I didnt go to betty ford i was in a state ran rehab.

posted June 28, 2000 10:15 PM            

Hey I was talking about Ami - you have been going on about her as long as I can remember. She must have been some gal! Go get that shit back - that is if it what you want.

posted June 29, 2000 08:36 PM            

and follow you HEART it will lead you in the right direction....