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 Can you all help me?
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| Author | Topic: Can you all help me? |
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FitKitty Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 21) |
posted June 27, 2000 09:29 PM
 
Hi Guys, I know I have not been on this board for very long and have not posted all that much but I was wondering if you guys could give me your opinion on a situation I am in. I dated a guy in college for two years whom I loved very very much but who had a very serious drinking and drug problem. He is smart and funny and kind and thoughtful but He ended up breaking up with me in a very hurtful manner and really broke my heart. For the next few years we were still in contact as we had many of the same friends and lived near by, went to the same places and stuff. Through these years, he hurt me very much by hooking up with other people in front of me, doing tons of coke, leaving my to deal with a pregnancy by myself,and generally treating me awfully. I am not one who would ever normally put up with anything like that from anyone but deep in my heart of hearts I knew that he was a good person, just someone who was in a lot of trouble. Two months ago, he checked himself into the Betty Ford Center and got himself clean and sober. He came to me and asked for forgivess and has really seen the error of his ways and has tried in good faith to restore what he has messed up. I have supported him through rehab he and I took a vacation in Arizona last week to just reconnect. It was wonderful and also really scary. We got along so well and he was so kind but I am so scared to trust him again. He is now in follow up to this rehab at Hazelton, is putting his life back together and I am very happy for him. We are trying to patch things up, and we are trying to get back together. I know he loves me very much but here is the thing... what are the chances of my putting my heart on the line and getting hurt again? Can people change? Would you ever trust someone who once hurt you really badly? Would the fact that they were drunk when they were mean and now are sober have any weight in your decision? He is a good person, I know this, but would you ever go out on a limb like this? I am scared. Thanks for whatever help you can give. Sadkitty IP: Logged |
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EliteLifter Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 67) |
posted June 27, 2000 11:04 PM
That guy is a loser... ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Bam-Bam Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 193) |
posted June 27, 2000 11:23 PM
That guy will never change. IP: Logged |
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picasso Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 22) |
posted June 28, 2000 10:20 AM
My current girlfriend is a Betty Ford grad for 5 or 6 years now.She is NOTHING like the girl who went there.Can people change? You bet they can! IP: Logged |
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FitKitty Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 21) |
posted June 28, 2000 10:33 AM
Picasso, tell me more, if you don't mind. Somehow my post got doubled so there are a bunch of people who have responded on another post. I would like to know how she decided to go there, and how she has changed since. I believe people can change, especially if they want to and if they are not forced. The guy I am talking about went on his own accord and I have seen a lot of changes - a lot more open, honest, respectful of himself and others. Its a tough process so how was/is it being the boyfriend to someone who is going through all of that? Thanks! IP: Logged |
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PT101 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 60) |
posted June 28, 2000 11:19 AM
Everyone deserves a second chance. Period. IP: Logged |
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BigPappa Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 409) |
posted June 28, 2000 01:57 PM
Hey PT101, that's what I said! You are infringing on my copyright! ....just kidding :-) IP: Logged |
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PT101 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 60) |
posted June 28, 2000 03:59 PM
BP, Gotta to admit it, I don't have a creative bone. I saw your post and thought, Hey I know where I can use that, and he'll never find it. Damn, ya caught me. I am so ashamed. Have a good one PT IP: Logged |
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picasso Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 22) |
posted June 28, 2000 06:30 PM
Kitty,gotta run,I'll post a quick synopsis in the morning.Quickly though,it's the best thing she ever did for herself. IP: Logged |
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Checkmatebloated Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 413) |
posted June 28, 2000 06:49 PM
The guy will be hitting the coke again next time he gets drunk. I know it hurt and I know you really want to take him back, because you love him. Don't do it!!!! You will get hurt again and it will be even worse next time. He will play it off like a fishing trip to mexico with his buddies and he will be at a bar with a strange girl an eight-ball and a hotel room for later in less than 3 months. You are just setting yourself up. I'll take you out. you live anywhere close to dallas. I'm 29 never married, but I do drink on the weekend. worked with the say lager insurance co. for 9 years, right out of highschool. I am in management now. Not looking to settle down, but who knows? My body is good, I have short blond hair and blue eyes. i am not ugly. How is that for my first resume? hehe Oh I also like to water ski, ride my three-wheel and motorcycle, play softball, shoot pool, toss darts, and may other things. I seem to be on the go none stop. IP: Logged |
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FitKitty Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 21) |
posted June 29, 2000 12:09 PM
Sorry Checkmate, I live in New York City, but thanks for the offer, that's sweet. I hope you are wrong about him, but the scenario you mentioned that would happen within 3 months is eerily close to memories I actually have. IP: Logged |
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