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 relationships.... gimme some feedback, ladies too.
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| Author | Topic: relationships.... gimme some feedback, ladies too. |
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madbomber31 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 399) |
posted June 04, 2000 12:59 PM
  alright, since i am bored of the gear thing, i thought i would shoot this out there.... A and B have been dating for over 2 months, they get along GREAT. never fight, very very good relationship.... now, one of them decides to give out their number at a bar... and talks to some person they met, but on a "friendship" level... despite the fact that this person tried to kiss person B the night they met.... now, a month goes by, and B is having lunch with this person... so A, being the calm person he is,, is fuckin livid. lets his feelings known but does not say "dont go". A is hurt already and feels disrespected by this other fuckin person for not backing off when he was told she was in a relationship... though they both say its as friends, should I still be pissed? if it were the other way around she would be right? also, i work a ton, and this is my day off, so its cutting into OUR time so she can spend it with another. i am fuckin mad, very very mad, and i know nobody in this fuckin state, so i have no way to release my anger. she is the only friend i have here and this is just bad.... i am gonna be lonely if i act how i think i am gonna act (ie kick her to the curb). FEEDBACK!!!!! IP: Logged |
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mightydog Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 105) |
posted June 04, 2000 01:04 PM
Kick her to the curb. Been there. Sooner the better. Then find another place to live like I did so you don't have to play second fiddle just to ease being lonely. IP: Logged |
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Steelheart Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 342) |
posted June 04, 2000 01:12 PM
Just listening to this is making my blood boil!!!!!! Fuck Ive been there! Recently too! IP: Logged |
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Anabolicum Mister Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 253) |
posted June 04, 2000 01:44 PM
Get rid of her. You shouldn't have to put up with that shit. Of course, if you are B, then "You da man!" hehehe. IP: Logged |
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skydancer Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 54) |
posted June 04, 2000 02:00 PM
I see it a couple of ways...first off 2 months is NOT very long to date someone. I think everyone thinks their relationship is incredible in the first few months of dating. It seems to me if you had the "very very good relationship" you say, she wouldn't be even thinking of becoming friends with another male (unless he was a part of her life before you) much less being "just friends" with a guy she met in a bar, who doesn't respect that shes involved with someone AND tried to kiss her. (She should have slapped him silly and told him to take a flying leap..) The other side of it is have you two discussed being exclusive? This may be her way of trying to get you to commit or her way of saying she doesn't. My gut reaction though from a female point of view it is ENTIRELY inappropriate for her to be having lunch with this guy. It just leaves the door open for way too many possibilities...particularly if she met him the way you describe. There is of course, nothing wrong with her having male friends or you having female friends. The problem is that no one believes that there is such a thing as "just friends" of the opposite sex. So ask yourself...are you being overly possesive and jealous or is there really a big trust issue here? The answer to that will tell you what to do... Of course -what I know about relationships wouldn't fill a shot glass but thats my take... [This message has been edited by skydancer (edited June 04, 2000).] IP: Logged |
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ryry Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 265) |
posted June 04, 2000 02:27 PM
skydancer brings up some good points. i think its time for you to go out and make other friends like her. she might just be trying to make you jealous for whatever reason. need some skywisdom on this one...
[This message has been edited by ryry (edited June 04, 2000).] IP: Logged |
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goleafs Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 105) |
posted June 04, 2000 02:28 PM
dude , a similar thing just happened to me , but we were together for five years and after some retrospect , it was easy (although a tad uncomfortable) to forgive and forget , we are back together now. a word to the wise. two months is nothing. your still in the get to know phase. get out of this thing and move on. youve invested no time. besides the best relationships in the world are rebound relationships. good luck ------------------ IP: Logged |
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big_bad_buff Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 435) |
posted June 04, 2000 04:15 PM
kick the hoe to the curb bro. i just dumped my G/F for pretty much the same reason, what state you live in? if you live in missouri we should hook up and go pimpin, LOL IP: Logged |
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Steelheart Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 342) |
posted June 04, 2000 04:26 PM
This lady who I dated for 6 monthes came to an end when she relises she didnt want a relationship just sex. I loved her deeply and she loved me. Im 24 shes 33.So we sort of parted but nothing was confirmed. I saw her 2 weeks ago with a hicky on her neck,it was an accident she said, from that day on I havent seen her. Im trying to forget about her.Just today she pages me and asks to go to the movies tonight. What do I do? If I see her will I have a hard time exepting that we're just friends? IP: Logged |
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skydancer Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 54) |
posted June 04, 2000 04:52 PM
auuughh - you guys! Whats wrong with you? Whats wrong with all the gals you're dating? Steelheart, what would you say to one of your friends if they were in the same situation? (not intended as a put down to any of you..I just get so frustrated with the whole male/female thing...it should be easy, you know?) [This message has been edited by skydancer (edited June 04, 2000).] IP: Logged |
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BigGuns2 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 110) |
posted June 04, 2000 06:21 PM
It's over bro. Best you let her go. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Steelheart Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 342) |
posted June 04, 2000 06:26 PM
Its over for sure. But we are just friends. But Im afraid if we see each other she'll "jump" me like she did the last time we parted and then we'll be together again and blah, blah, blah.... IP: Logged |
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MattTheSkywalker Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 994) |
posted June 04, 2000 07:36 PM
SkyWisdom: Bomber - You see a "very very good relationship". She is giving her number out at a bar. She does not see the same thing you do. For example, how many times have you called other girls since you have dated her? Probably never. She tells you they are "just friends." The Skywalker tells you that ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. She is going out to lunch with another guy on your only day off. She is spending less time with you so she can hang out with another guy. What else do you need to hear? swing the sword and cut the cord. Don't try to rationalize staying together while she will be seeing others. Matt IP: Logged |
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lc576 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 19) |
posted June 04, 2000 08:34 PM
My live in girlfriend had a "FRIEND" and they worked out together (I worked out with my track team, so I didn't go to this gym). Then one night we had a fight and she went to her friends house to "TALK". She said, "I don't know what happened, we were just friends". "But we started talking and next thing I knew we were in bed." Men and women CANNOT just be FRIENDS. Yes, they can have a great working relationship. In fact, I think they can even be workout partners, but thats it. Anything that turns one on one, such as lunch, signals the beginning of more than friendship. Women all the time say, "oh he is just a friend" But what they don't know is he is scheming how to get her in bed. Maybe he knows it will never happen, so he will never make a move. But the plan is in place if the women should ever give the hint. WOMEN LISTEN, this applys to ALL men. Your male friend, your male co-workers, and most men you pass on the street and all the men in the gym. we want to have sex with you (given you are remotely attractive). YOU CANNOT HAVE A ONE ON ONE FRIENDSHIP WITH A MALE. Oh sure, you say, "he may think that but I would never give him that opportunity." Then the day comes when you have fight, go see your friend to vent. Have a glass of wine.... "Oh, you understand me so well, I wish john was more like you" The next thing the woman says is, "OMG what have I done!!!!!" Then she never hears from her FRIEND and has to confess to you and you dump her on her ass. Remember that rap song, O baby youuuuu, you got what I need, but you say he just a friend, but you say he just a friend. IP: Logged |
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Jay Z Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 602) |
posted June 04, 2000 10:42 PM
if you guys listen to tom leykis and his leykis 101 you know that men and women cannot be just friends, as the guy before said...women are tricked by men, but all they want to do is get them in bed....listed to his radio program..all of your questions answered ------------------ IP: Logged |
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RaverDude Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 235) |
posted June 05, 2000 02:05 AM
well said lc576 IP: Logged |
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Fitnessbarbie Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 41) |
posted June 05, 2000 09:08 AM
I think she's trying to get you jealous or trying to get a reaction out of you so she can see how much you care about her....let her know exactly how you feel about the situation...but tell her calmly...don't start yelling at her....then if she goes out again with someone I would let her go...if you have only been dating a month or two and your relationship hasn't been defined then you can't get upset with her.....maybe she thinks you are doing the same thing. IP: Logged |
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Bunny55 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 91) |
posted June 05, 2000 09:53 AM
I think Matt is right. I think women and men can be friends at work, and other times IF the bf or husband is around. But to go so far as a work out partner is past the limit for me. That is just it - where is your "line" of "this is Ok" and "this is NOT ok" YOur boundaries and hers are different. Bunny "This is who we are" IP: Logged |
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Fish Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 218) |
posted June 05, 2000 10:29 AM
There is no reason to give you number out to someone else, and it is very wrong if it is obvious that that person is not wanting to be friends. She has left, she just forgot to tell you. Sorry for you. Relationships can suck in the worst way!!! ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Dlady27 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 48) |
posted June 05, 2000 11:10 AM
I think what Matt said should have a huge impact on how you think about relationships from now on. Its obvious that if she gave her number to another guy, (no less one she met in a bar)that she is not interested fully in you, as you are so into her. I know it is hard being in a place where you know no one, but go out and make friends with people, even other men from work, the gym etc. Then as you get out in the social lights you will meet the one when you aren't even looking! Just because you "date" a girl for 2 months doesn't make the two of you exclusive to each other. IP: Logged |
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Slopain Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 331) |
posted June 05, 2000 11:59 AM
you must dump her. reasons: 1. cuz the skywalker said so 2. little invested at this point 3. if shes trying to get you jealous then she will realize her error and come back or start truckin that other 'friend' - either way you KNOW instead of guessing 4. you are losing respect very quickly in this relationship, if she doesnt respect you why be in the relationship 5. cuz slopain says so 6. doesn't this hurt you? why would you stay with someone who is causing you pain. 7. picture yourself married to her with kids 'mommy is at the bar with her male friends all day while daddy is at work paying for her friends drinks' 8.you are better off alone, than with someone who still kicks it with a 'friend' who has tried to mack her. good luck! Slopain IP: Logged |
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BigPappa Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 69) |
posted June 05, 2000 12:06 PM
I have to disagree with the crap you have been given here. If you have been dating for a month or two then she should NOT be dating other people, unless you are the only one who considers you two to be dating. Maybe she thinks you guys are just friends?...some guys think they're are dating when to the girl they are only friends. If sex is involved, then you are definitely dating. Girls that play the jealousy route are not worth it as they will take that game-playing attitude with them all the way to the alter...just my $.02... [This message has been edited by BigPappa (edited June 05, 2000).] IP: Logged |
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mightydog Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 105) |
posted June 05, 2000 12:12 PM
Bullshit! If she is playing a game to make you jealous, more reason to dump her. If she is doing something that she thinks has no affect on you then she's stupid, another reason for her to get lost. If she has interest in this other guy and less you, another reason. Kind of a no-brainer buddy. IP: Logged |
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E2 Moderator (Total posts: 3380) |
posted June 05, 2000 01:24 PM
In my eyes what shes done is unacceptable, how on earth can she go out with another guy on your only day off??? I have to agree with Matt, Time to get rid of her. IP: Logged |
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BiffBoom Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 472) |
posted June 05, 2000 06:11 PM
A)My SAT scores were pretty good but B)you kind of lost me with C)you've been together for 2 months but D)break up for a day so E)she kisses someone else on freebie day which F)is actually kind of cheesy because G)it shows that you kind of wasted 2 months where H)the best she can do is go kiss someone else? F-her and quit before it gets really painful IP: Logged |
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madbomber31 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 399) |
posted June 07, 2000 05:30 PM
well... let me fill everyone in. first i gotta say, she read these responses, she now knows how guys think  she never ended up having lunch with him, she didnt know i was gonna feel how i did about it. she said "its not worth losing" me over, which is good. she did pick him up and drop him off at work though, but i can dig that... he kinda duped her into it... said his car was at a friends. anyway, i had my choice... her or my entire pride system. i took her. i let this go seeing how it wasnt a date, or at least she didnt see it as one. she gave the guy her number so he could teach her to line dance... IE i will never fuckin line dance in my lifetime and she wanted to learn. ya she met him at a hick bar. i am pretty much over it, she think i over reacted, i think i may have (BUT ONLY A LITTLE BIT... MAYBE). she said she isnt gonna date other people and didnt consider that a date... funny thing is, monday i got an email from an old "friend" and she asked me to have drinks.... i declined of course cuz old "friends" suck. but she told me i should go and have fun... maybe she was just saying... see its ok to have lunch with somoene or hangout with someone... but my feelings are known, if she dates someone, even once then well... its settled. till then i trust her, she said she would never do anything to ruin that, so we will have to wait and see. IP: Logged |
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Fish Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 218) |
posted June 07, 2000 05:35 PM
Be careful. You never to big to hurt. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Dark Stalker Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 70) |
posted June 07, 2000 06:09 PM
I feel like I missed an episode...I'm dawn confused now... IP: Logged |
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