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 WHAT DO DO? I feel like shit
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| Author | Topic: WHAT DO DO? I feel like shit |
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DRRman Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 214) |
posted May 28, 2000 02:37 PM
 
well, i guess im writing here because i have no one else who would give me any advice without being a dick about it. There is this girl whom i've had a severe crush on since early High School. We've went out a few times, just as friends per se, she's only dated two guys in her life, both very long term relationships. Shes still dating one of them now, hes 26, me and her are 21. He treats her like shit and i don't care at all for him. I haven't really thought much about this girl in quite a while, until this past week, she was at the beach with me and 4 other friends. We spend all of out time together, i don't know if i messed up by treating her like my girl friend while we were there, i took her shopping, out to eat, bought her drinks etc. She was very thankful and acted like she totally enjoyed being with me, we had some very deep conversations and i know she enjoyed our time together. The fucking problem is now, i can't get her out of my mind, i don't know if she thinks of me like i think of her, if not she's doing a hell of a job at leading me on. I just don't know what to do, i feel like shit, just came off cycle, and now this girl has me all fucked up. What are some of you guys experience with situations like this, or with girls that might just lead someone on? What should i do, just ask her about it all, and risk it, i just don't want to ruin any friendship we may have. Sorry so long thanks guys IP: Logged |
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moe dank Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 591) |
posted May 28, 2000 02:46 PM
well i am in the same position you are except i live 2,000 miles from the chick. If i could tell her face to face how i feel about here i wouldnt wait one more second. If you dont do it, you will just end up wondering what if. Just my .02 here. I think about the girl every day and there isnt shit i can do about it right now. You've got the chace. GO FOR IT! ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Puc Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 305) |
posted May 28, 2000 02:48 PM
You know, I don't want to be the pessimist, but... Be careful. Falling for someone before you are actually "together" is damaging. Because, if you ever do get her, you won't be on even footing -- the relationship won't be equal. You have to put her out of your mind. First off, because it will mess with your mind if you don't. Secondly, because it will increase your chances of actually landing her. But, that is just my$.02 Puc IP: Logged |
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DRRman Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 214) |
posted May 28, 2000 03:13 PM
Thats been my reasoing for not saying anything to her puc. I like the points you and moe have made. I guess i just need to put her out of my mind, if she feels the same something will eventually happen i guess. Besides, i think she knows i care a great deal for her. Anyways, IP: Logged |
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skydancer Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 19) |
posted May 28, 2000 03:18 PM
DRRman - we women are slow and don't often see that the best thing for us is right in front of our faces. Both Moe and Puc have good points. I say you never know until you try. Otherwise you'll just sit and wonder "what if". IP: Logged |
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DRRman Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 214) |
posted May 28, 2000 03:22 PM
i love having a women's perspective on subjects like this, thank you IP: Logged |
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skydancer Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 19) |
posted May 28, 2000 03:27 PM
No problem. Just call her up, ask her out. Be straightforward. You don't have to get into how long you've liked her and all that. Unless of course she says yes and you guys hook up. Then we love that kind of crap.  IP: Logged |
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Puc Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 305) |
posted May 28, 2000 03:51 PM
Good Luck! Puc IP: Logged |
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BigGuns2 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 75) |
posted May 28, 2000 04:00 PM
Good Luck. You need to let her know how you feel. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Sight1 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 48) |
posted May 28, 2000 04:13 PM
SHIT GETS WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER! Sorry, but it is true. She will not be able to pursue a relationship with you or anyone until she has finished with the one that she is in. You were at the beach! Goodtimeville. Attitudes are different there, but they can change. If you want to know what is on her mind you have to tell her what is on yours. Then you just ask. Ask what she feels, NOT what she is willing to give up for you. If you ask her to committ to something right away, then you will lose, and it will hurt BADDDDDDDDDDDD! Hope this helps, Bro. IP: Logged |
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Cleaner Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 297) |
posted May 28, 2000 05:02 PM
Jump in - you only live once. Some day you will look back and better for your mistakes, if it ends up being one! Could be the best thing that ever happens to you. Good luck IP: Logged |
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Kahn Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 227) |
posted May 28, 2000 05:04 PM
Great help here so far. My suggestion is to keep the realationships seperate, That way current boyfriend won't haunt her thinking later on. Make sure he's gone first. Then proceed as any other. Don't over think or over plan, they backfire. Treat her like she is, very important to you. Be honest and let her know what you're thinking and don't forget how you feel right now when you're pissed at her. ALWAYS be prepared for the worst, even if it doesn't happen. Don't listen to other people, just take into consideration what they've said. Good Luck, we want invitations to the wedding IP: Logged |
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MattTheSkywalker Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 948) |
posted May 28, 2000 07:20 PM
Skydancer, First of all you're real close to screen-name infringement. But THANK YOU so much for admitting that women often don't see things that are right before their faces. Now, how do you feel about this observation I have made: Many women will date loser guys just to be "with" someone. Now, for the DRR man, yeah as the Skydancer said, just give her a call and ask her to go out. Don't drop a huge bomb on her, but express your interest in being with her. After you go out once, ask her out again - see how it develops.....but let it take its course - don't try to force anything. Later Matt [This message has been edited by MattTheSkywalker (edited May 28, 2000).] IP: Logged |
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THE STEEL BEAST Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 287) |
posted May 28, 2000 07:58 PM
TAKE IT SLOW LIKE MATT SAID.....SLOWLY PULL HER AWAY FROM THE OTHER BOYFRIEND TO THE POINT WHERE SHE IS SPENDING MORE TIME WITH YOU THAN SHE IS WITH HIM...EVENTUALLY SHE WILL COME AROUND AND SEE WHAT IS UP...IF YOU ARE UNSURE GO TO ONE OF HER FRIENDS AND SEE IF SHE TALKS ABOUT YOU.ACT REAL SINCERE TO THE FRIEND AND TELL THE FRIEND HOW MUCH YOU CARE FOR THE GIRL...CHANCES ARE THE FRIEND WILL BE ON YOUR SIDE AND HELP YOU GET IN. AND ALSO YOU WILL BE ABLE TO FIND OUT HOW SHE FEELS...GIRLS ALWAYS STICK TO GIRLS AND SHARE SECRETS...THAT WOULD BE MY COURSE OF ACTION...JUST ONCE YOU GET HER DONT LET HER GO OFF WITH A DUDE NAMED TOLLIVER TO THE BEACH..HEHEH IP: Logged |
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skydancer Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 19) |
posted May 28, 2000 09:42 PM
skywalker - don't worry. I don't think people will get us confused! I promise not to post as you.IP: Logged |
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MattTheSkywalker Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 948) |
posted May 28, 2000 09:45 PM
Dancer, No prob. If you have a chance - re-read my post - I asked something about women in general and just wondering what your comments are. Matt IP: Logged |
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skydancer Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 19) |
posted May 28, 2000 09:59 PM
Skywalker - almost missed that one. Personally no. I'd much rather be alone than be with a jerk. But I do know women who will date a "loser" as you said just to have somewhere to go on a Sat night. And then drop him like rocks when the next "thing" comes along. I think it stinks and gives the female breed a bad name. Unfortunately there are a lot of men out there that do the same...maybe we can figure out a way to get all the loser/user types to date eachother so only the good ones are left? [This message has been edited by skydancer (edited May 28, 2000).] IP: Logged |
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MattTheSkywalker Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 948) |
posted May 28, 2000 10:27 PM
Ok SkyDancer thanks for the input. I agree that certainly not all women are like that, but many are extremely insecure. So are guys - you know them - the guys that get all paranoid if their girl is out with her girlfriends every now and then. I think that people's insecurities are the driving force behind 99% of stupid relationship decisions. Amazing that some people can't ever really grow up. Any thoughts welcome. Maybe we can write a book. Matt IP: Logged |
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skydancer Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 19) |
posted May 28, 2000 11:47 PM
Skywalker - that interesting about the insecurity factor. I've always attributed insecurity to men when they play games, etc etc but not women. But it makes sense that it would work both ways. I suppose the more insecure you are the more you would try to grab "along the way" to make yourself feel better. And for men (or women for that matter) who get paranoid when their gf goes out with their own friends...that may be insecurity. But I think its also a level of trust in the relationship. If there is that gut feeling that something is not quite right - well then - something is usually not quite right. (Sorry DRRman - this isn't probably helping your situation too much! I wish you luck there!) IP: Logged |
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DRRman Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 214) |
posted May 29, 2000 12:53 AM
THANK YOU for all the replies, i know why i really love this place now. I guess im just gonna play it out, shes coming down tomorrow to go on the lake with me and my best friend-her twin sister dates my best friend. So im still gonna treat her like she's important and try and see if we really have a relationship or not. I just don't want to start anything with her still dating someone, and i know she's not happy with him, but i also know she's probably in a tough situation. I guess i'll just try to be here for her bide my time, if its meant to be i guess it will be! thanks again guys IP: Logged |
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Austin316 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 41) |
posted May 29, 2000 02:31 AM
Ill cut to the point by using a great qoute. Your damned if you do, your damned if you don't. What do you really have to lose bro. IP: Logged |
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Austin316 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 41) |
posted May 29, 2000 02:36 AM
By the way, relating to the quote earlier about asking one of her friends what she thinks about you. Why don't you have your best friend ask her sister what she thinks about you IP: Logged |
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MattTheSkywalker Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 948) |
posted May 29, 2000 10:26 AM
Skydancer, I used to think that insecurity was only a woman's problem (like you thought it was guys), but then seeing how so many guys I know acted around girls....well I realize now that it is not strictly a gender issue. It truly amazes me how people can let their emotions overtake them like that (and YES it has happened to me - and I learned from it). Anyway thanks for your answers on these things. More commentary is always welcome. Matt IP: Logged |
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