posted May 25, 2000 10:57 PM            

A young blonde named Virginia, playing a round golf one Saturday morning, watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The errant golf ball struck one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

Virginia rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.

She said, "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow."

"Ummph, oooh nnooo, I'll be all right...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his crotch.

But Virginia persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants, and put her hands inside his crotch. She then began to massage him vigorously.

Virginia then asked him, "How does that feel?"

Obviously quite aroused, he replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts
like hell!"

posted May 25, 2000 11:30 PM            

A man and his newlywed wife went on a golf trip for their honeymoon. Now the man was a good golfer but his wife had not played before. The golf course was beautiful and posh, and the fairway on the first hole was lined with mansions. The man went first and had a nice drive. The woman, however, sliced her shot and it smashed through the patio doors of one of the mansions. When they went over to apologize to the owner, they were amazed at what they saw. The ball had smashed through the window and a broken lamp was shattered on the floor. On the couch sat a Genie with his turbin and traditional garb.

"You have freed me" the Genie said. "I have been trapped in that lamp for four hundred years. Now I must grant you 3 wishes."

Well the husband and wife couldn't beleive their luck and decided on their 3 wishes.

"We both wish to be scratch golfer's" they said. "Done said the Genie, but that is 2 wishes. You only have one more". The man thought some more and said "We want 10 million dollars"

"Before I grant that wish" the Genie said "you must grant me a wish. I have not had a woman in 4 hundred years! I am about to explode. I wish to have sex with your wife."

The man thought about it and discussed it with his wife. They decided that for 10 million dollars they would do it. So the Genie and the wife disappeared upstairs to the bedroom. When the Genie was finished, he said to the wife:

"How long have you been married?"

"We are newlyweds" replied the woman.

"And how long have you known him" asked the Genie.

"Five years" she said.

posted May 26, 2000 06:40 AM            

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"Pain is only weakness leaving your body!"

posted May 26, 2000 10:49 AM            

A man was joined by an attractive young lady, whom he had never met before one day on the golf course. They played a full round, and afterwards the lady went out with him to the parking lot and she gave him head in his car. They set up numerous times to play together, and after each time, she gave him head in the parking lot.

Finally, one day the man got up the nerve to ask her out on a date. She said yes, and it was set. That night when the man answered the door the woman said "There's something I need to tel you.....I am actually a man" The man was outraged and he yelled "YOU MOTHERFUCKER!...........YOU BEEN PLAYING ON THE WOMANS TEE'S THIS WHOLE TIME!"

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"The days nobody else goes to the gym
are the days you should work the hardest!"

posted May 26, 2000 11:54 AM            

ok here is one.

Two life long friend who where very old, enjoyed golf very much, their only concern was that when they would die their golfing days would be over, so they made a deal, wich ever one died first would comeback and tell the other if there was golf in heaven.

sure enough the next year one of the men died of a heart attack, and like he promised he cameback to his friend in his sleep.

"well, I here to give you good news and bad news" the spirit said.

"the good new is there IS golf in heaven, the fair ways are beautiful, everybody there is a scrach golfer, the caddies are beautiful Angels, if your ball lands on a water hazard you can walk in an hit your ball without getting wet..." he was then interupted by his alive pal when he said "well whats the bad news????"