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Chat & Conversation Guys, I need your opinions...
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Author | Topic: Guys, I need your opinions... |
blackhaus1 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 387) |
posted May 20, 2000 01:16 PM
Ok as you guys know, my boyfriend and I have been together a bit and I have always complained about his moodiness. Well Wednesday night we had a big talk about where our relationship is headed and he said that he doesn't think that its perfect and he doesn't know if its worth continuing, which kinda hurts after you dedicate your heart to someone. But thats not my question. So my best friend comes and picks me up anmd we head up to the bar for some liquid healing. He calls me while I am there and I tell him I am obviously not in a position to talk and for him to call me when he gets up the next day. Soooooooo, he doesn't call the next day or yesterday (yeah i know hes a dick), and I don't want to call him b/c I wanted to give him time to sort out his thoughts and whatnot, but I am not gonna sit here for a week wondering if I still have a boyfriend or not...So heres the question...Should i call or not...If u were him would u want me to call? ------------------ [This message has been edited by blackhaus1 (edited May 20, 2000).] IP: Logged |
WCP Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 913) |
posted May 20, 2000 01:20 PM
Dont call...its exactly what he wants you to do. With men its just one big ego game for the most part. As for his moodiness,I wouldnt know, I stay pretty complacent for the most part. Make him come to you, he is the one that called the shot in the first place, let him be man enough to finish it. In my opinion, calling him would be somewhat of a signal of submission to him. I would just sit back and wait, IP: Logged |
big_bad_buff Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 392) |
posted May 20, 2000 01:28 PM
NOPE!! don't call, if someone has made up in there mind that they don't need you, or the relationship is going no were, then he doesnt feel the same way about you, as you feel for him, and probibly never will. me and my girlfriend broke up 2 days ago after 3 years, because me and a friend were talking to 2 other girls in a parking lot, because she was wanting to know how much i was selling my car for, then my girlfriend drove by, and saw us, and she wont talk to me anymore.......little does she know, that the girls we were talking to were 16, 6 years younger than me, and they both had boyfriends. it's just funny that she's so stooped, and didnt even bother to ask me what's up.......... anyways, sorry about my story, but, NO i wouldnt call him, if he said that stuff, he did mean it, no matter what he says now. so just forget about it and try to move on... IP: Logged |
blackhaus1 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 387) |
posted May 20, 2000 01:30 PM
Ok, but I was like ...So what are we doing now, are we done? Or are we working on this? And hes like I don't know I have to make that decision. So technically, we're not broken up b/c he never broke up with me... IP: Logged |
thiassi Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 302) |
posted May 20, 2000 01:33 PM
Call him and let him know your done with the relationship. After that empty out his bank account. Call his mom and let her know he takes drugs etc... No wait I hated it when my exgirlfriend did that to me. Oh what the hell. L8R IP: Logged |
Gtn-Big2 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 116) |
posted May 20, 2000 02:08 PM
Don't call...!!!! IP: Logged |
Frackal Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 165) |
posted May 20, 2000 02:24 PM
Don't call. If you do call, call to end the relationship. IP: Logged |
Capt'n_Crunch Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 406) |
posted May 20, 2000 02:39 PM
Dont call him, if you guys have been together for a really long time and he doesnt know what he wants and now he is telling you that you have to wait on his decision, then just tell him to fuck off..... It sounds like he is trying to fuck with you and see how much control he has on you. Even if thats not what he is doing he is acting like a real dick...... I mean it seems to me that he must not truly love you and if thats what your looking for you should leave him now before the shit gets dragged out and you end up breaking up anyways...... From what you have said he sounds like he has his mind made up and if he doesnt call you in a week you should just call him up and let him know YOU have decided its over IP: Logged |
moe dank Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 508) |
posted May 20, 2000 03:47 PM
well sweet that is what guys say to a chick when they are tired of the relaytionship. He doesnt want to just come out and say "we are through". Call him and tell him it has been fun, you will always remember the good times, goodbye. If you drag out the break up you will end up hating each other, trust me I have been there. goodluck and it will only hurt for a while. ------------------ IP: Logged |
The Ranger Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 976) |
posted May 20, 2000 03:58 PM
DON'T CALL!! WCP and the Buff-man are right...It's an ego thing with men....we all like to be pursued...that's what he wants....time apart may make the realtionship stronger.....it may break it completely, it's always a gamble. My personal opinion is that it takes two to make a realtionship work...not one who is moody being carried by the very backbone of the couple(you)!! Give him time...while you can have more time for your friends....enjoy it......let freedom ring......who knows who you will meet...cause, It's all good sister!!! Ranger IP: Logged |
blackhaus1 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 387) |
posted May 20, 2000 04:50 PM
Ok, I am still not calling, but I know I am gonna see him at this club next weekend, so then what? Should I go naked to piss him off? LOL...and dance with other guys in his face? or should I just go with the girls and pretend I am ok even though i am not? ------------------ IP: Logged |
Capt'n_Crunch Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 406) |
posted May 20, 2000 04:53 PM
next weekend? if he dont call you, you should be broken up with him by then and if you are ...... fuck him, go do whatever you want and have fun IP: Logged |
BigGuns2 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 44) |
posted May 20, 2000 05:22 PM
Don't call him. If he doesn't have the decency to call you like you asked him to, then to hell with him. ------------------ IP: Logged |
doggod Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 38) |
posted May 20, 2000 06:00 PM
I also had a problem with my girl of 3 years. We've been living together since the 2nd week dating. She's from Europe and has been living in NY with me. She was supposed to go to Europe to visit her family for a week. Well, I got a call the day before she was to return that she wanted to break up. She then said that she jumped the gun and just wants some time apart (much cooler). Being the nice guy that I am I went over there and brought her some of her stuff (I needed some closure). Things are 10X better now. We don't call each other everyday like we used to. She calls me and I can tell that she wants to be together sooner rather than later. So after my vacation this summer I'm moving over there to live (like we had planned before our problems). Why the sap story? I say give it some time. It hurts but through time you'll realize if he's the one for you. Codependancy is sometimes the root of it all. If you call him be almost apathetic. Don't get into emotional conversations. Trust me. Once I got over my initial sadness and became more optimistic/accepting about a future w/o my other half, she changed back to the girl I fell in love with. Don't be too proud to call if that's what makes ya feel better. IP: Logged |
runner Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 47) |
posted May 20, 2000 07:09 PM
i was originally gonna' advise you to be a "bigger man" than he is and to call him, but i think the advice the others have given is correct...unfortunately sometimes guys are stubborn and think that calling is like a pissing contest but i think if he really wants you he'll give in and call. IP: Logged |
MattTheSkywalker Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 890) |
posted May 20, 2000 07:46 PM
CaptNCrunch basically has spoken for me on this one. He and the otehrs were right about the control thing. There is no point in calling him. He's the one that he needs time to sort things out, so let him do that. In the meantime, do a few things without him. Have some fun with your girlfriends. Go to a different club next weekend if you haven't heard from him. There are a lot of clubs in the Long Island/NY city area. ha ha Seriosuly - he went away from you - let him come back Matt IP: Logged |
THE STEEL BEAST Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 250) |
posted May 20, 2000 07:46 PM
CALL HIS BEST FRIEND AND GO OUT WITH HIM THATLL GET HIM TO REALIZE HE FUCKED UP IP: Logged |
cm3504jm Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 49) |
posted May 20, 2000 08:05 PM
Blackhaus, I've been married for 12 wonderful years. The secret at least for us has been that neither of us take ourselves too seriously. Sum it up this way: Enjoy yourself and life, nobody knows that like you do. If you get caught up with mental conflicts within, trust your instincts, act on them. You may make mistakes but that is how we learn-by making them. Just keep moving forward. If your boyfriend is truly devoted to you, he will follow. If he doesn't, then he was not worthy of you in the first place. Enjoy life! IP: Logged |
blackhaus1 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 387) |
posted May 20, 2000 10:06 PM
Matt, Theres no way I am going to a different club Memorial Day weekend. All my friends are going there and they aren't gonna change plans b/c of him...So there will be an encounter...I will be at CPI's if anyone here is going out to the Hamptons... IP: Logged |
slim jim Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 51) |
posted May 20, 2000 10:45 PM
EVERYBODY IS RIGHT ABOUT NOT CALLING, EGO THING. BUT I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT IS IT POSSIBLE HE IS SEEING SOMEONE ELSE. KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN. IP: Logged |
TxCollegeguy Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 312) |
posted May 20, 2000 11:00 PM
You know I think you need to step up and act like you have a Pair of Balls for a minute....Screw him...Don't wait on his sorry ass....You decide....One way or another...Whatever you decide put it to him like this..."This is what needs to happen or get the Hell out" Just straight up be an asshole right back...cause it will let him know your serious and not willing to take his crap... My story:My ex and I broke up at the end of Jan, well it was a break so to speak...well by the time Valentines day had come and go we decided we were going to continue the break and not get involved seriously with anyone...FastForward to Last night...Thanks to my neighbor down the road who called me to get me into a yahoo chat room...I found out my ex is now engaged...I laughed and starting making a joke out of it and soon as she knew it was me...she started getting all defensive and questioning all the girls I knew there, as if she was my girlfriend still....What a joke... So the moral of the story....take charge and screw being nice I hung around and wasted to much time trying to Figure things out so to speak.....There's a time for sensitive and understanding and theres a time to go to the matresses.... Go and Stand Tall...end of peptalk email me and let me know whats up.... IP: Logged |
WCP Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 913) |
posted May 21, 2000 02:24 AM
Uhhh..listen..if your going to go naked...youll need a good date...oh well Ill be damned Im free that day..heh..heh..heh.. For once Ranger old man..Ill say..your not full of shit..heh..heh..heh.. Blackhaus...dont go naked..unless you send me digital pics...heh..heh.. we can trade...hAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!.. ok..so Im a bit out there tonight, IP: Logged |
XXXL Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 235) |
posted May 21, 2000 02:57 AM
hey girl, i know we tease each other. . (know i still love ya) but i think he's answered your question. he told you that he needed to think if you two had a relationship. i can only speak for me but if the girl i love asks me if she's the one or if we have a future i'd step right up and say "HELL YEAH" i don't mean to be a downer. if you're the one he'd speak up with out a thought. but that's just me. i hope you find what you're looking for!
IP: Logged |
scott825 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 191) |
posted May 21, 2000 03:50 AM
Trust me i've done the same thing to girls -DONT CALL! HES PLAYING A GAME. IP: Logged |
millgirl Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 71) |
posted May 21, 2000 12:20 PM
DONT CALL....You will be giving in, that may show weakness for him to walk on you the next time he feels like walking. Show him strength and make him come to you....Thats what i would do . BUT its easier said than done, I know Ive been there....PEACE! IP: Logged |
blackhaus1 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 387) |
posted May 21, 2000 01:52 PM
Ok guys I am not calling, though I have been rather tempted to call and bawl him out, but its been 4 days now....how long should I wait, what if he never calls? ------------------ IP: Logged |
slim jim Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 51) |
posted May 21, 2000 02:46 PM
IF HE NEVER CALLS, IT WAS MEANT TO BE. BUT DEEP INSIDE I THINK YOU WILL CALL HIM. IP: Logged |
Capt'n_Crunch Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 406) |
posted May 21, 2000 03:35 PM
Dont call him at all, stay strong and maintain, and whenever you are around him or see any of his friends just act as happy as can be...... if you break when he does shit like this to you, what do you think he is going to do later....... IP: Logged |
Twisted_Steel Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 80) |
posted May 21, 2000 05:28 PM
blah blah blah ------------------ IP: Logged |
MattTheSkywalker Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 890) |
posted May 21, 2000 08:36 PM
Black, Hope you didn't call. Because if you do, and you "bawl him out" (How old are you? 15?), all that will do is show him that he can shit on you whenever he wants. Do you want to be shit on? If he doesn't know if he wants a relationship, guess what? He doesn't. Here's a reality check: He's working on someone else right now. If it doesn't work, he'll come back to you because he knows you'll be there for him. So this time don't be. Unless of course you want to be thought of as Plan B. How about this: you don't deserve that shit. Fuck him. Matt IP: Logged |
blackhaus1 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 387) |
posted May 22, 2000 01:19 AM
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH HE CALLED...And i didn't pick up...he left a message saying hes sorry about not calling and he feels like a dick...and to call him back...I didn't ! hahaha ------------------ IP: Logged |
RedHot Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 80) |
posted May 22, 2000 01:37 AM
Most guys don't have the balls to just tell it like it is so they avoid the rif-raf and just leave us hanging. It is a proven fact that men are not sure of themselves and don't know what they really are searching for. Women on the other hand do. We are caring and compassionate by nature. We want to love. That so called boyfriend of yours doesn't deserve you. Go get a man you don't have to wonder about. Hey, and if you find him, let me know if he has a brother! IP: Logged |
blackhaus1 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 387) |
posted May 22, 2000 02:54 AM
O and Matt, I am not 15 for wanting to bawl him out, but i think not calling your girlfriend for four days deserves a BAWLING out session! ------------------ IP: Logged |
Steak Helmet Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 78) |
posted May 22, 2000 07:57 PM
FUCK HIM...NOT literally. Forget him he obviously cannot make a decsion about the woman that cares for him deeply. to give up your heart is a big thing, and if he is going to ? how he feels, then he obviously does not give 2 shits about your feelings. I think he went out and cheated on you. After he was done he felt bad and realized u might the one worth waiting for. BUT he fucked up. just my opinion IP: Logged |
MattTheSkywalker Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 890) |
posted May 22, 2000 09:08 PM
STEAK HELMET: I noticed that too - that he tried to get with someone else. I still think that's what happened - and the other girl said NO. Blackhaus1: - No flame but the "15" comment was because I don't think he even really deserves your attention unless he can show up in person and apologize and maybe then you can forgive him. Maybe. REDHOT: I disagree about men not knowing what we want. More accurately, I think, we don't always know when it is there. But then again REDHOT, you live in Alabama and from what I have seen of that place, 99% of the guys are worthless. Matt IP: Logged |
blackhaus1 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 387) |
posted May 23, 2000 01:13 AM
Well we talked tonight and we broke up. IP: Logged |
slabcat Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 25) |
posted May 24, 2000 02:50 AM
Blackhaus, Sorry about your breakup. It's got to be one of the worst feelings in life. It hurts bad but it eventually goes away.Judging from all the posts above you're probably tired of comments and advice but here goes anyway. From reading your posts and looking at your pics, I must say your a very funny, smart, attractive, and sometimes very stubborn(heh heh, LOL) girl. If he's not smart enough to know what he's got and treat you how you should be, then it's his loss and maybe this is for the best. Sorry again and hang in there. IP: Logged |
BigGuns2 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 44) |
posted May 24, 2000 11:40 AM
After seeing your great pictures on your page, there may need to be more discussion on this thread. ------------------ IP: Logged |
Peanut Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 167) |
posted May 24, 2000 11:56 AM
Sorry to hear that. It will all work out, it always does. Keep your chin up and take out any aggression in the weight room. IP: Logged |
Whammo Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 53) |
posted May 24, 2000 02:14 PM
Black... Look at it this way. There is 1 perfect someone out there. If you are with someone, and you are not COMPLETELY happy at anytime (small tiffs / issues excluded - cuz everyone has those) with the overall situation, don't think twice. Drop the dud. That's what I did with my ex gal. I am not going give them a piece of my life because I am afraid I am not going to meet someone new. There is ALWAYS someone for everyone.... in a nutshell: You only live so long... right? IP: Logged |
ralphe Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 81) |
posted May 24, 2000 03:30 PM
DO NOT CALL.....Go to the club but have a date when you walk in ....appear to have a great time whether you do or not.....this will crush him......don't make eye contact either......just have the time of your life no matter what.......
good luck Just an Old fart IP: Logged |
SSMAN Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 356) |
posted May 24, 2000 03:59 PM
Not to jump on the bandwagon, because that's surely not my style, but I wouldn't call. Life gone before you realize it. Why spend it being unhappy? I'm 25, and if I make it to 75 I've lived a third of my life!! There are so many incredible experiences to be had in this life......and I don't believe that people like that should be part of the plan. Believe it or not, there are people out there who can and will give you what you deserve.....the perfect partnership I can't answer your question about would I want you to call if I were him.....because if I had the opportunity he has, I surely wouldn't be acting like he is. Hope this helps. IP: Logged |
Bunny55 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 58) |
posted May 24, 2000 07:15 PM
Get the book - "10 things women do to really mess up their lives" By Dr. Laura You need it BAD!! Who says you need him? Why would you waste your time on a looser who is not calling? You are worth much more than that!!! Heavens!!!! Cut your losses and move on, dont build your life around ANY man! Bunny IP: Logged |
Jay Z Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 400) |
posted May 25, 2000 12:41 AM
Am i the only one who notices, but why did you two guys break up? Maybe he wasn't getting a constant supply of pussy, or what? Cause if he was thinking if he should be with you, that means he already was banging somebody else who gave him whatever he wanted? Maybe he wasn't getting any from you so he found somebody else. ------------------ IP: Logged |
blackhaus1 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 387) |
posted May 25, 2000 02:59 AM
No jay he was getting it whenever he wanted...maybe that was the problem! ------------------ IP: Logged |
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