posted May 02, 2000 07:47 PM            

Ok, I'll admit to having done a few of those overly-indulged pandasin my lifetime. But one episode in particular shamefully sticks out in my mind. I was talking to this chick on AOL, she said she had seen me at a party and thought I was hot. She then went on to start bragging about her flute playing skills. I was pretty horny so I invited her over to my place that night. She was dressed in medium lengthed shorts and was wearing a bright green halter top of which her boobs were climbing right out of. After a while we got down to business. She blew me a bit, nothing spectacular and I was starting to get bored so I decided to do her. She layed on her back and I climbed on top of her. Then I got pissed cause I discovered that there was no way I was going to be able to mount that heaving hunk of lard, it was physcially impossible to easily do so! There must have been a good two foot distance between her pussy and the top of her tummy! So I decided to improvise and go on my knees in front of her, my torso and back arched upright. With all my might, I then lifted her massive rippled legs straight up in the air and proceeded to invade her half shaven beaver. Afterwards, after downing some serious vodka, I had the courage to look at myself in the mirror. Much to my surprise I noticed that my delts and chest were engorged with blood and swelling in my skin with a d-bol like pump! Evidently, hoisting and holding up them mammoth sized tractor truck wheels has legitimate muscle building applications.