posted April 09, 2000 11:29 AM            

Just a quick warning.....HIGH grade untidy warning!!!

If you are contemplating a dive to visit the holliest of hollies in
the near future perhaps this story is best left alone.

Trash it if you have your doubts....NOW!

One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhoea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realised that it was urinary pain.

It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhoea, just out the wrong hole.She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard.
In paralysing pain, Ms. DaLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth
while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbours called the police.

When medics arrived they found Ms. DaLucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup.

The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out.
She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to
straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her
genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous.

It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing.

The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened: Ms. DaLucci official death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident she had purchased a live obster at a fish market.

While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping
motion. The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the
TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was
found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms.
DaLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters.

The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DaLucci's vagina when she was torturing it.

posted April 09, 2000 09:28 PM            

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"I am the purist nonconformist, jaded, sub-human terrorist"

posted April 10, 2000 01:28 AM            

You see I used to go to a catholic boarding school and when ever the "DUDES" with collers tought we straying from the rightous path, a quick story like that would cure us from temptation reall fast.ha