"Where are you going Coochy Cooh..?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife says to him, "You want a beer my love?" Then she opens the door to
the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12
different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, ETC.

The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that he can think of
saying is, "Yes, Honey Pie...but the bar you know...the frozen glass...."

He didn't get the finish the sentence, when the wife interrupts him by
saying, "You want a frozen glass Puppy Face?" She takes a mug out of the
freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, says, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar
they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't be long
I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oervres Pookie Pooh?" She opens the oven and takes out 15
dishes of different hors d'oervres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket,
mushroom caps, pork strips. ETC.

"But Sweetie, Honey...at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty words
and that..."

"You want dirty words Cutie Pie?...HERE, DRINK YOUR FUCKIN BEER IN YOUR
FROZEN FUCKIN MUG AND EAT YOUR FUCKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING
ANYWHERE! GOT IT ASSHOLE?!!!!

Ain't love grand...

The wife thinks the sounds a tad bit fishy but being a good wife does exactly what her hubby asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.She asks if he caught many fish.

"OH YES! Lots of Walleye,some Bluegill,and a few Pike. But darling, you did not pack my new silk pajamas like I asked you too".

The wife replies, " I did, they were in your tacklebox".

Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I
was really proud of
myself, having a quick witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a
possible conflict.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her twelve
o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why,
she said "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh
fuck," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times,
giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted.

------------------
THE NORWEGIAN FREIGHT TRAIN

"Pain, is just weakness leaving your body"

"...damn you for not giving my TEST" - Metallica

"After this show i'll be fat and happy again.....If i make it to the show...." - Lee Priest

"Lets put some weight on the bar.." - Shawn Ray

"IT DOESN'T MATTER" - The Rock

delts2