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Chat & Conversation Is being gay really a choice?
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Author | Topic: Is being gay really a choice? | ||
Amateur Bodybuilder Posts: 117 |
I have read many posts on this board, by both gays and straights and I have come to this conclusion, being gay is a choice. I can't remember who it was but they had said "I've been with girls but I do not connect with them like I connect with guys." Well, if you can be with girls, like JohnnyO has said many times he can be but enjoys guys more, then wouldn't that make being gay a choice and not a characteristic you are born with? I mean, I can fool around with guys if I wanted to, but I choose not to. ------------------ | ||
Olympian Posts: 1864 |
I agree...I truly believe it's a concious choice. Let the flood gates open...race all day yesterday, today this...hehe... ------------------ | ||
Moderator Posts: 4730 |
Of course you choose to be with anyone, but what you are born with is the preference of one over the other. When I was 14 I was dating a girl, and I was VERY much in love with her. I was convinced I was going to marry her when I got out of high school, but that didn't stop me from checking out guys. | ||
Elite Bodybuilder Posts: 1114 |
This is a question I have enjoyed talking with those who are straight, bisexual, and gay I have always believed it was a choice because I didn't believe we are born with a sexuality preference... like an example of a little boy and a little girl who take a bath together...the little girl might say mommy whats that? He's got something I don't have. Do you think that little girl really new that she was a girl and he was boy for the real reasons that set them apart? I think sexual preference is alot like that. We watch society and how it chooses and then figure out what it is that we would prefer...I remember a study that came out a few years ago that claimed they had found a gene that made them believe people were born "gay". A later study found that before the test cases were examined all the canidates told them tehy were gay or bisexual. Upon another study where they tested people who claimed to be straight they also found that same gene. I really wish I could find the article that talked about this....it was really interesting to read. when it all comes down to it...Different Strokes for different folks | ||
Elite Bodybuilder Posts: 775 |
this board fascinates me - people here have the worst logical reasoning skills I've ever seen. it makes me want to go out adn take advantage of the world if this is how everyone really is. the only way you are even close to remotely right is that they can choose to lie about it and feel gross the whole time, or they can go with what feels right - just as you could choose to sleep with guys for the rest of your life and you wouldn't like it, but you could choose it if that was what society was pressuring you to do. good thinking dipshits. ------------------ Build a man a fire, he is warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he is warm for a lifetime. | ||
Moderator Posts: 4730 |
Hopefully this doesn't get sour like yesterday's posts. In my experience, when I was 4 years old I was a like all the other boys. I know "something" happened to me at 5 started me on this path, I knew I was different and not like other boys. I was being called "sissy" in the 2nd grade .. long before any real sexual feelings started. | ||
Elite Bodybuilder Posts: 1114 |
Happy their is no need to attack anyones logic here...When you were a very little kid did you like memembers of the oposite sex? were you attracked to them? I didn't I wanted girls far away from me. I would be more inclined to believing it being in our DNA or gene if they were to prove that a segment of our genes wouldn't kick in till after a certain time in our lifes. I havent heard of any theories like that but their might be... Another question then involving the line of genes and DNA if no other generation of men were not gay or did not have an attraction to men, and none of their wives felt that way about women how could it be explained that generations later someone from that same line would be gay? Is it possible for what could be a recesive gene to be passed onto generation after generation and then become a dominant gene later on? | ||
Elite Bodybuilder Posts: 775 |
Okay - all else aside - ignore everything. let's look at it and assume that the choice is what is happening there. then why the hell would they ever choose? they walk down the street after they choose, and they could get killed like Matthew Sheppard. They could get fired form their job, they have public ridicule, their families frequently disown them. Why would you choose that lifestyle if all those things were in your favor? ------------------ Build a man a fire, he is warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he is warm for a lifetime. | ||
Cool Novice Posts: 40 |
There is a large body of empirical evidence that supports the idea that sexual orientation is determined by both genetic and evironmental factors. But the term environmental factor doesn't mean the persons childhood or anything like that. In fact it refers to chemical environment present prenatally(specifically the presence of androgens). For those who believe that homosexuality is a choice consider the fact that homosexual behaviors occur frequently among many species from lizards to chimps(Ellis and Ames, 1987; Money, 1987; Srivastava et al,. 1991). Would you feel confident in saying that choice has anything to do with this fact. Do you even believe that a lizard has the cognitive capacity to make a choice in the same way that a human makes a choice. Now i made this point in a post a few months ago. Since it pertains to this discussion I will repost what i wrote: We all start off as female fetuses. the presence of a Y chromo triggers formation of testes( at 8 weeks)which produce testosterone in 2nd and 3rd month which then "masculinizes" the body. The vulva becomes the scrotum and the clitoris becomes the penis. Later on in gestation, testosterone "masculinizes" the brain, especially the hypothalamus(The medial pre-optic nucleus in the anterior hypothalamus doubles in size) What is important about this is the fact that the presence of androgens(testosterone)play a large role in the process of masulinization described above; both the masculinization of the body and of the brain. plus, Makes a lot of sense to me. There a many more studies that support this theory but Im not gonna go through them all here.
[This message has been edited by Big Worm (edited March 02, 2001).] | ||
Elite Bodybuilder Posts: 1114 |
some people wouldn't care about risks like that, but I do understand the point you were making...I will admit besides the side by side comparision I mentioned I haven't done any "real scientific" reading into Gene studies so I'm not going to claim a good working knowledge on this subject. I believe that we are a product of our environment not of nature. Our environment shapes our personalities and our behavior. I dont think if we were transported to a vastly different environment our personalities would be the same. That being said isn't our personalities part of who we are? Our sexual preference is apart of who we are... ok I had to delete the last part of what I said...which after reading it didn't make any sense to me...lol... [This message has been edited by TxCollegeguy (edited March 02, 2001).] | ||
Moderator Posts: 4730 |
Ok everyone! get out your omnas and pregnant mice and see what happens. I could just see the look on some of y'alls face as we crack open an amp and waste it in a mouse. | ||
Elite Bodybuilder Posts: 1114 |
Johnny I bet alot of people would start crying to see that...lol... | ||
Olympian Posts: 1984 |
It is a born preference, not a choice. It is more of a challenge than a choice. | ||
Pro Bodybuilder Posts: 312 |
OK so they say they are born gay. And they like the same sex. Well I ask " What about those who like young kids same sex or not?" Those people might be born with a gene that causes them to do those things. So now should we being a free and fair nation allow child abuser to do thier crimes?
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Pro Bodybuilder Posts: 411 |
Choice?...Yeah right, Mathew Sheppard gets beat to a pulp, hung on a barb wire fence, and left in freezing weather to die. I choose to be like that ? I think it's in your own interest to believe it's a choice, | ||
Freak Posts: 2037 |
An aqaintance of mine has a male child with whom even at the age of 5 everyone is pretty sure is going to be gay...the parents are dealing with it and they're just not going to make a fuss and let him be as he wants to be. Apparentely, he is not interested in boy stuff at all...wants to carry a purse like his mom, owns a "Little Mermaid"knapsack (which he specifially asked for I gather)..anyway, stuff like that. Now obivoulsy the parents are afraid of what gonna happen to this kid in school, but what can they do? they can't force him to like macho stuff cause he just WONT. Now, its possible the kid wont be gay, maybe he just likes feminine things (which is what I say...I mean...its not like the kid has a sexual preference yet)... | ||
Moderator Posts: 4730 |
quote: I know of no research that can preduce child abusers in a lab environment. I would think that something other than playing with pre-birth hormone levels is going on in the that case. I would venture to say some time of mental illness. | ||
Elite Bodybuilder Posts: 1114 |
I don't think it's really fair to compare what happened to mathew sheppard to chosing to be gay. No one would choose to die like that. Its not as if he was offered a choice to get killed. I don't see how this post can be compared with someone getting their life taken from them | ||
Pro Bodybuilder Posts: 411 |
If he was straight he'd still be alive. Where's the incentive to be gay if it's such a choice? | ||
Amateur Bodybuilder Posts: 117 |
john, that's like saying nobody would choose to be a Nascar driver because of the chance of crashing your car and dying is always there. | ||
Elite Bodybuilder Posts: 1114 |
we don't know if he would still be alive? Those guys made the choice to take his life, it wasn't his...Thats like saying If I wasn't Catholic I wouldn't have to worry about people talking down to me. Well I am catholic and not everyone likes that, besides how do we know they wouldn't bother me anyway? Its not the same when someone else chooses to do something wrong as killing someone else vs someone making it their choice to be killed...I don't think many people in this world would say because I am this way you can go ahead and kill me...That would be their choice and the choice of someone to kill them Matthew sheppard was just another person who was murdered. He could have been shot during a robbery or grown into a wise old man but we will never know. It's made such a big deal because he was gay and targeted. He didn't know what those guys were going to do...People are targets everyday because someone doesn't like an aspect about them, I still don't see how that is related to someone choosing to be gay or if they are born like that | ||
Pro Bodybuilder Posts: 368 |
just out of curiosity...john, johnnyo, may...would you choose to be straight if you truly did have the choice? for me it would be a no-brainer, yes. | ||
Moderator Posts: 4730 |
Yes, I think I would be straight if it was possible to have a long term relationship with a girl. The way I am now I would be hitting the bookstores or baths within 2 weeks of getting married. | ||
Pro Bodybuilder Posts: 411 |
quote: Personally that works for me. That's not a choice I can imagine making. But evidently the Nascar driver gets rewards for his choice: money, fame, chicks...
quote: All gay people followed the news coverage and trial VERY carefully, and trust me WE DO KNOW. He was targeted because he was a wispy effiminate fag, and his murderers thought that would make good "sport". The murderers girl friends testified to this, and one of the murderer's himself testified to this. I still don't see how that is related to someone choosing to be gay This society looks at gays as targets for abuse. That means there is dis-incentive to CHOOSE to be gay. Fortunately that is changing. quote: I can't relate to the question. Would you like to be a poodle? Hell if I know. Maybe...probably not. [This message has been edited by john937 (edited March 02, 2001).] | ||
Elite Bodybuilder Posts: 1114 |
John I guess I'm not seeing eye to eye with you. I'm not a poodle nor do I have the choice to physically turn into one. Thats a physical difference not the choice of someone else to choose to turn me into a poodle Those people decided to kill him...I just dont see how something he didn't expect to happen have anything to do with the post reguarding if people choose or are born being gay...The only thing I could really say in reguards to what I think you are saying Had he known he was going to be made a target do you think he would have changed who he was? "This society looks at gays as targets for abuse" Thats a bit broad thing to say. I will admit that a majority of society is not in favor or support the gay, lesbian or transgendered community, but I wouldn't say society as a whole targets them for abuse. I do agree with you that society is changing to be more acceptive of others outside the "norm" It would be very nice to live where everyone would be acceptive of others reguardless if they all lived different lifestyles...Perhaps I might live to see this society be more exceptive as a whole. I have sympathy for anyone being targeted for abuse, but can not offer any logical solution has to making realistic changes in the way we view and treat each other. | ||
Pro Bodybuilder Posts: 362 |
20 years ago, it was considered cool or excentric to be gay, but today it is not a good time to be gay.
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Pro Bodybuilder Posts: 411 |
I'm not a poodle nor do I have the choice to physically turn into one. Yes, You're getting it. It's just about as easy for me to be turned into straight as for you to be turned into a poodle. Had he known he was going to be made a target do you think he would have changed who he was?
Let's see. I can't marry someone I love.
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Elite Bodybuilder Posts: 629 |
only if you like sucking cock. ------------------ | ||
Elite Bodybuilder Posts: 1114 |
the situations you mentioned are truly sad and though I don't think a marriage between 2 men or 2 women is what i would call a marriage I don't see how it's a big deal to allow that to get married or give them those benefits of being married. Eventually I feel those situations you mentioned will be corrected. I'm sorry that your brother wont allow you to share who you are with his kids...One day I'm sure they will notice themselves who you are, and when they become adults I hope you can talk with them...It sounds like your brother is missing out on sharing the joys and sadness of your life Those are situations that the laws target, I wouldn't say that just because the laws target gays that society as a whole targets them. To me it just means society as a whole is not willing to stand up for making things right...Equality hasn't been fully reached for that community. I also think a big mistake is the type of Acceptance that I have noticed being talked about is moving past the point of tolerance and striving for equality to a more accepted position of having to like or agree with that choice. I think people don't have to like each other for choices and beliefs but why not except that as someone making that choice for themselves and give them the right to protect that choice | ||
Elite Bodybuilder Posts: 775 |
quote:
I truly don't understand people that are weirded out by gay men. it isn't like they are going to attack you and fuck you in the ass or something, or that by talking to them or being in the same room will affect you in any way. they are just people like you and I, except they have different sexual opinions. Hell, last night I couldn't sleep, so I went to games.com and logged on - my name is "backdoorboy" - I chose it b/c I thought it was funny. I notmally choose assface or pigfucker, but it wouldn't let me choose those. I hate ignorant fucks. at least here people are willing to discuss it - no opinions will change here, but people will have a discourse. ------------------ Build a man a fire, he is warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he is warm for a lifetime. [This message has been edited by HappyScrappy (edited March 02, 2001).] | ||
Pro Bodybuilder Posts: 411 |
I don't think a marriage between 2 men or 2 women is what i would call a marriage I believe you are arguing for legalized partnerships, but not call them "marriage". Something equal but different. The US Supreeme Court in dealing with racial segregation, has already ruled (rightly) that "seperate but equal" is inherently unequal. I don't see how it's a big deal to allow that to get married or give them those benefits I wouldn't say that just because the laws target gays that society as a whole targets them. To me it just means society as a whole is not willing to stand up for making things right. You're trying to have your cake and eat it too. Equality hasn't been fully reached for that community. | ||
Elite Bodybuilder Posts: 1114 |
ok.... You can call a legal partnership or a marriage or whatever it's decided to call it. Just because I don't approve of it doesn't mean I don't think the legal protection should be given. I think the legal protection is deserved and should be given to gays on this issue based on your statement and your reasoning I guess it would be fair to say gays are targeted. I have never questioned a politician and how he stands on these issues since it hasn't been something for me to think about, and perhaps I should think about it more and question politicians. These issues are not something that I have faced nore have I personally heard how they affect anyone I personally know who is gay To clarify I am not saying that their isn't a problem with the way the laws are written...I am saying some progress in the social acceptance of gays has been made with people not with laws. I am also saying their hasn't been enough progress made to this point involving laws. I'm saying that more changes are needed in getting laws corrected and helping people understand why they need to be changed. I also would say I'm one of the straight Americans who isn't pleased with the laws when brought to my attention and clarified on it's effects. | ||
Novice Posts: 2 |
this always an interesting topic for discussion and a great way to see how silly some of the thinking is with re; to this topic. i think in some cases people have indeed chosen to be gay, but i thnk most of the time it pertains to the lesbians. not too many of my gay friends have gone back to being straight. i know for a fact that i did not choose this lifestyle and to answer my buddy, runner's question, i would choose to be straight!!!! life is so much easier in the straight world as opposed to the gay world. we encounter possibly 2 prejudices, being gay and being ethnic. gays also encounter our own type of prejudices because there are many out there that willnot date an asian , black or hispanic. so we can encounter the hate frm the straight world and within our own. sorry, straying! but i knew i liked boys/men when i was in 3rd grade. i had crushes on my male friends and on my 5th grade teacher. i did have a GF my sophmore year, but i knew it wasn't right, so i ended it. i now know why there is so much teen suicide amongst teens, cuz i was once there. so please do not tell us that we have chosen this lifestyle. late! | ||
Amateur Bodybuilder Posts: 132 |
Being gay is not a choice, I don't care what you think. It's been scientifically proven over and over again that gay properties occur in every single species who were studied to purposely see if gay tendencies happen in the certain species itself. This happened in insects, mammals, turtles, etc. I don't think a mosquito has the ability to have a choice int he matter do you? | ||
Novice Posts: 2 |
so 70's Americans are very funny. Who cares. | ||
Olympian Posts: 1705 |
quote:
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Olympian Posts: 1614 |
I really should not touch this one but I will. You are born as you are born. If your black your born black If your white your born white. Do you have a choice how your born/ Why would you think someone would have a choice to be born gay or straight? Fact is mosy gay folks you speak to will tell you they have been attracted to the same sex since they where very small. No one can say that at 3 years old you know what these feeling are or what there about. Just as some of you loathe over female models at a young age some people loath over certain folks of the same sex. You can't walk in someone shoes as they can't walk in yours. This point can be argued back and forth and folks will still beleive as they beleive. Why would someone want to be born into discrimination form others? If there was a choice why would you not choose the more " tolerated route" and save the heart ache? Simple you can't change what your born with unless you have a sex change. We are all children of god or whoever you beleive in. We are all different and suite a purpose in life whatever it maybe. We should all respect and love each other no matter what. | ||
Amateur Bodybuilder Posts: 51 |
Just reading some of the posts concerning this question amazes me. It's been a struggle within me for many years now. God, how I wish I could have stayed married and happy. I tried my best and I'm still I'm torn. I wanted the whole thing, wife, kids and dealing with the everyday pressures of having a family. Instead I'm still alone, as I choose to be. I am defintely sexually challenged. If I had the choice I'd be happily married with at least five kids but I didn't have a choice. I don't know why but that's just the way it is; for me anyway. In my mind I'd much rather be with a woman, I can't imagine anything more beautiful than a man and woman who are together and truly in Love. My body says differently. I've got to come to terms with it soon. I can't waste my life by being alone day in and day out. I've always asked myself, "Why me?" | ||
Amateur Bodybuilder Posts: 165 |
Interesting post. | ||
Freak Posts: 2655 |
I'm not gay, but let me present you straight guys with this: BY YOUR THEORY, BEING STRAIGHT IS A CHOICE AS WELL. AND OTHER THAN I BELIEVE BIG BUCK, MOST OF US STRAIGHT MEN CAN RELATE TO HOW GAYS MUST FEEL ABOUT WOMEN, SAME AS WE FEEL ABOUT GUYS! j/k bigbuck, i know you're not that gay. | ||
Amateur Bodybuilder Posts: 249 |
i suppose it comes down to one thing: what DOES jizz taste like? |
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