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 Elite Fitness Bodybuilding, Anabolics, Diet, Life Extension, Wellness, Supplements, and Training Boards
 Chat & Conversation
 I am going to see Benny Hinn......
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| Author | Topic: I am going to see Benny Hinn...... | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 201 |
If any of you are familiar with Benny Hinn... a televangilist... he is going to be in San Diego. Here's the plan... Arrive 3 hours early armed with blood capsules, Alka Seltzer tablets, a wheelchair and camcorder. Fill out the prayer card stating that I am posessed by demons and often speak in tongues. Wait until one of the ushers passes the collection plate and slip him a 20 to get "healed".... Kneepads and I hope to make it onstage where I'll slip the blood capsules into my top and bottom lip and toss back a few Alka Seltzer tabs.... Kneepads will have a little cup of water or clear soda... I'll take a slip and have the Alka Seltzer tables explode while I fall out of the wheelchair and hit my face a few times to bust the blood capsules. I also plan to have a few "seizures" which should liven up the place. With any luck we'll make it out alive - should prove to be an interesting event. I am a sick person - but at least I can admit it. Anyone have any ideas on how to make this better?
Everybody really was Kung Fu fighting.... [This message has been edited by Shrebly (edited March 02, 2001).]     | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 313 |
Benny Hinn has funny ass hair...LOOKS ALL LACQUERED UP! An idea:Bring a lighter with you and see if his hair ignites! | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 379 |
Shelb, that is the funniest shit I ever heard, that should be put on the show Jackass, I am always thinking of shit like this....LMAO. OMG I almost peed my sweats....You are so funny! ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 379 |
quote: Goddamnit Vixen, now I really did pee myself, damn....be right back..hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ------------------ | ||
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Olympian 
Posts: 1660 |
LAUGH NOW.......BUT REALIZE WHATS THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HIM AND YOUR PREACHERS.......BOTH ARE BENDING YOU OVER BACKWARDS AND MAKING MONEY OFF OF YOU. ------------------ DONT ASK ME TWICE,UNLESS YOU WANT TWO BLACK EYES. YOU CANNOT IGNORE GENIUS.
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 379 |
My Priest doesn't have a comb over, that's one difference.  ------------------ | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 1114 |
Oh my goodness...I think it is amusing watching him though I do like some of the scriptures he has talked about with his guests...I thought his shows were taped, if it were live oh goodness what I would pay to watch that...I did know an Atheist who went to a church in Lubbock as a favor to a friend and to see for himself people who preach and believe they have abilities like Benny Hinn....After he stepped forward and admitted he had no faith, the preacher said a prayer put his hand on this guys head, and I kid you not over a year later this guy is now a firm believer and a active leader in his church in San Angelo, TX. Who's Christian Rock band I hear is still actively touring around Texas When I donate to a church, it doesn't go straight to the pope, doesn't go straight to the priest (at least I hope not) goes into a collection which is divided up amongst the parish charities and programs unless it is put and labeled in an envelop for a specific purpose and some sent on to other church organizations. Ok I guess in some way it goes to those people cause the church gives a parish a budget to spend for housing, feeding, clothing, and transportation and a few other things.... [This message has been edited by TxCollegeguy (edited March 02, 2001).] | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 201 |
I must say this - in my own defense - I was raised Roman Catholic, went to a private all girl boarding school and have seen more corruption within the church than in our government. Since when does a parish priest drive a BMW? Sure, if his family was rich or he has personal wealth and bought it with his own bankroll that would be fine - BUT - he was "off the boat" from Catotia and didn't speak more than one hundred words of English. While I have a real set of issues with the whole structure of the "church" - ie the nuns telling us we are going to hell because of original sin when we were in the third grade without explaining or justifying any of the questions we had. We were labeled trouble makers and sent to detention. The whole televangelist thing is one of the greatest thorns in the side of organized religion - miracles happen every five minutes at one of these modern day "tent revivals" and most people don't understand that what they are seeing is a show. A well planned guise set up to rake in obscene amounts of cash from people who are guilty - simply - of having faith - mostly people who have found no cure for cancer or a disease that has fallen on their children. My purpose is mostly for fun since I take none of this seriously. I feel sorry for the people who are clutching at a straw - with the slimmest hope of being cured of something that plagues them. They are like little lost sheep and the tele-bible-thumpers are promising something that they can not possible deliver. Imagine if you will - that God - sitting in heaven and all of a sudden his "miracle pager" goes off... Benny Hinn needs a favor. What about the hours that I spent in church praying to a God that never answered me. I was told to beleive and have faith and I would be accepted into the kingdom of heaven when I passed from this earth - to trust something based on a book that is filled with stories. I find it highly insulting that these "preachers" claim they have the power to hear and heal and perpetuate this ongoing ruse with nothing more than money as motivation. ------------------ Everybody really was Kung Fu fighting.... | ||
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Freak 
Posts: 2655 |
OH MY GOD <no pun> IF YOU DO THIS YOU SHALL BE MY HERO FOR ALL ETERNITY! | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 425 |
I was scammed by my best friend in high school into going to one of his shows that was in Minneapolis. I think we were the only 2 wearing heavy metal shirts there and felt out of place. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 362 |
Keep us posted. IF you get on, I'll buy a video.
[This message has been edited by ion (edited March 02, 2001).] | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 252 |
Does anyone get TBN? He is on everyday. Benny Hinn is the man. Pastor Rod Parsley is doing the same healing things now. I watch TBN all the time, it's like comedy central for me. That bitch with the crazy purple hair is awesome. I also like Jesse Duplantis. That dude is full of shit. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1133 |
Just make sure you get it copied and let us all have access to the mpeg! LMAO! | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 245 |
oh shit i hope, i hope, i hope you're serious this i would pay my left nut to see | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 201 |
quote: No need to wait, you can start to worship the ground I walk on now... joke... I need carbs.... can't .. go... on... need carbs.....Shrebly out..... ------------------ Everybody really was Kung Fu fighting.... |
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posted March 02, 2001 12:19 AM
