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 Elite Fitness Bodybuilding, Anabolics, Diet, Life Extension, Wellness, Supplements, and Training Boards
 Chat & Conversation
 Ever broken up with someone you still love deeply?
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| Author | Topic: Ever broken up with someone you still love deeply? | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 391 |
My girl and I just broke up. Technically, I initiated it. The problem is, we both are still deeply in love with one another. I want to tell the whole story and get your input, but I'm emotionally exhausted. I'll type it up tomorrow. Just wondering if any of you have voluntarily ended a relationship with someone you were still in love with and how you dealt with it. ------------------     | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 226 |
I would only if there were issues that were unable to be overcome even when the love is great. It is very diffucult especially when you love that person so deeply. On the other hand love is a very powerful thing, if it is meant to be then you will be together soon. Cheating is not involved is it? If that is the case you have a huge obstacle to hurdle, it can happen but very exhausting & painful. I speak from experience. I hope things go well. Interested in reading the circumstances. Have A Good Night.... ------------------ | ||
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Cool Novice 
Posts: 47 |
yes.... and i regret it everyday..sigh  i fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me... ------------------ | ||
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Olympian 
Posts: 1542 |
Spent 4 years witht he person I thought was it. This was during my run for my contest. Well I got dumped for being "self centered" since I was focusing on me. Fuck the car I bought for them, fuck the travel, fuck everything good I did in 4 years. Anyway it hurt really bad and than I met someone else who seems to be my soulmate. We get along great and everything seems to be perfect. The bottom line is everything happens for a reason and good always comes from bad. You did what you did for a reason. If things work out you may get abck together if not it will hurt but you will move on. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 402 |
yes, it hurt when ever i see her becuase I still love her deeply, i think she could have been the one, and im sure she still loves me, | ||
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Guru     
Posts: 5393 |
yes I have, that pain sucks. Lets here your story and see if we can't fix this, breaking up with someone you love for real isn't fun at all. ------------------ For a good time click here: Search and Profiles (300Kleens Board) | ||
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Mutant 
Posts: 3503 |
yep....I broke up with my ex who was my only love.......only way to deal with it is tons of time, and trying to rememeber bad times together.  | ||
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Freak
Posts: 2058 |
yep... but it was best in the long run. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 391 |
First of all, thanks for your replies. Ok, so here is the story. It's a bit long, so bear with me. Our respective pasts played a significant role in our relationship from the beginning. The main issue was (surprise, suprise) about sex. When we met, I had had sex exactly three times (thats three TIMES, not three WOMEN). My girlfriend had been with seven guys, one of which was a one-nighter. Early when we were dating, we were discussing our pasts, and she said to me: "I feel kinda bad because I feel like I turned my ex-boyfriend into a sex machine." Judge me as you will, but her past was a huge obstacle for me. Having only been with one girl and having been almost 23 when I lost my virginity, I was naturally concerned with the fact that she had been with so many guys. I know 7 people isn't a lot by today's standards, but it is to me. And the one-nighter and "sex machine" line made me (and still do) want to be sick. Anyway, I eventually decided that what mattered most was that I was deeply in love with this girl, and I didn't want to let my fears and insecurities rule me. We had sex for the first time this past new year's eve. In the almost two months that followed, we had sex exactly 4 more times. During that time, I heard all of the following from my girlfriend as reasons why she didn't want to have sex with me: "My throat is a little sore", "I'm really tired" (I heard that one several times), "I have gas", "I ate too much and dont feel good", "I'm really upset about something that happened at work today." The "something" that had happened at work that day was that she bought a dispenser bottle of hand sanitizer and asked the two guys she works with to use it after they use the Port-o-potty. (She works at a construction site). She felt so bad about it that she said she "couldn't get in the right mind set to make love." I always tried to be understanding of whatever the situation was, but eventually I began to feel very unwanted and unappreciated. I told her that I was excited about making love to her, and was disappointed that she wasn't excited about it, too. She responded by saying that she WAS excited, she was just going through a lot of changes in her life. Needless to say, I certainly didn't get the impression that she was excited about making love to me. This led to my having thoughts like, "She'll fuck some guy she barely knew, and turn her ex in to a sex machine, but she won't make love to me when she says she is excited to do so and that I am the best thing she's ever had." The final straw was a little over a week ago. We were having sex for the first time in two weeks. She started "coaching" me into this new position, and when I wasn't getting it right, she was saying things like, "no... you can't... don't...". I certainly don't mind taking pointers and being with someone who communicates, but in this situation I got a little flustered. The best analogy I think to explain my state of mind is this: even the best race car drivers in the world, at one point, were 15 year-olds with a permit, trying simply to back the car out of the garage without wrecking. So, I told her I didn't feel comfortable and that I was nervous. She got upset and walked out of the room, saying "yeah, it really looks like you love me" as she disappeared into the bathroom. When she came back out, we ended up getting into an argument. We went from making love to arguing in the blink of an eye. I slept in another room that night because during the argument she yelled at me for "saying her name all the time" when we argue. She said, "I know what my name is, you don't have to keep saying it all time." We made up in the morning and spent that evening together. We went to a movie, and on the way home she kept saying, "I'm so tired, I can't wait to go to sleep." She was asleep two mintues after we climed into bed. The next morning she wouldn't even lay next to me in bed for a few minutes, saying that she felt hurried because she had a lot to do that day. I broke up with her on my way out that morning. There are some other issues as well. We have different views on money, work vs. family, etc. But I can be honest enough to admit the sex thing was the biggest. Sorry to ramble. But I do appreciate your interest. Thanks again for the thoughts and encouragement. | ||
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Cool Novice
Posts: 11 |
Doesn't sound like you were to happy. If she doesn't want to please you maybe she wanted out. Sounds like the breakup was a good idea to me. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 889 |
NEXT HER | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 889 |
NEXT HER | ||
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Guru
Posts: 5393 |
Sorry homey that aint the girl for you (in my opinion). Thats bullshit. I have been with tons of girls, but when Im with someone whos new to sex I dont get pissed at them for fuckin up the rhythym - thats dumb. Those comments she made "sex machine" sounds like she is full of her self, her excuses dont make sense for shit, and you did the right thing. You are new to the whole sex thing right? I dare so your not in love with her, but just very attached. Theres a difference and you will find out that when you get a warm hearted, caring, loving, feminine women who wants to bone you 24/7 and loves to suck your dick --> because she wants to see you happy, not because shes a nympho (nothing wrong with that but may not be conducive to a positive relationship). ------------------ For a good time click here: Search and Profiles (300Kleens Board) | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 226 |
I don't mean to put any thoughts into your head, maybe they are already there. Well here goes. Do you think that she has been sleeping with another or other guys? She sounds like she has a shitload of issues one way or the other. Just because you are not as experienced with sex as she is doesn't give her the right to blow you off the way she has. If it were me, I would coach you as much and as often as possible without acting like a pro or mentioning other sexual encounters to you. That is just plain trashy. There is a woman out there for you that will respect the fact that you have been with only two women thus far with little experience with both. There is a lot to learn and try out. I feel for you. I have an ex that would use the same excuses she had used on you to get out of sex. I finally found out he was cheating on me with a bitch that acted like my friend. It hurt and I got over it. It hurt my ego more than anything. I was asking myself, "what is the matter with me?" The answer, absolutely NOTHING! He was the ass, he sees me now and eats his tiny, hollow, little heart out..... ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 391 |
Slopain-- thanks for the thoughts. I know its important that I, personally, feel like I did the right thing (which I do). But its always good to hear that someone else sees it from your perspective. btw... if you know any women like you described, let 'em know I'm single! thanks again. | ||
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Guru
Posts: 5393 |
Just get out there and keep busy don't dwell on her - she might want you back and even throw some puss in your face to try and get you back after she feels like you rejected her but don't do it keep away from her and make a healthy break - its not easy but stick to your guns. She will turn into the same person after she got you back. ------------------ For a good time click here: Search and Profiles (300Kleens Board) | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 391 |
hey, kartchick... thanks its nice to know there are women out there that think like you do. its encouraging.i know she wasn't cheating on me. i believe in my heart that she really truly loved/loves me. she is a devastated by the breakup as i am. i guess we just have differnent priorities and different ways of expressing our love, and maybe even different definitions of love. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 135 |
SCG--to me, it's sounds as if this was the right thing for you to do. I am sure that you are hurt now, but it will be healed with time. I am with Kartchick on this one...if she loved you like she said she did, she would have been patient with you when dealing with the sex issue. (Not that I'm saying she has to give you sex JUST because she loves you). She obviously had something going on on the side. I know this is going to be hard to believe, but there are some girls that can make themselves look like they are hurting by crying and things like that. She may be one of those. I wish you luck in getting through this, though because I know how it feels to break up with someone that you love simply because there is nothing else you can do to help the situation. Good luck with this! | ||
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Mutant
Posts: 3261 |
It sucks breaking up with someone you love, I'm in a similar boat, only we are still somewhat together. I'd start looking for a new girl and only see herif it means you will get some ass out of it(for instance if she calls you when she's drunk and tells you she misses you). | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 391 |
Thanks nightfly... i know i'll get over it. it just sucks in the meantime. i just cannot possibly believe that she was cheating on me. i admit i'm pretty naive, but there is just no way. please don't think i'm offended that you suggested it. i appreciate everyone being honest with their thoughts. you did, however, get me wondering if she "bumped" into an ex or something. fuck it, who knows. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 950 |
Sounds like you made the right call....Good luck | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 202 |
[QUOTE]Originally posted by kartchick83: [B]I don't mean to put any thoughts into your head, maybe they are already there. Well here goes. Do you think that she has been sleeping with another or other guys? She sounds like she has a shitload of issues one way or the other. Just because you are not as experienced with sex as she is doesn't give her the right to blow you off the way she has. If it were me, I would coach you as much and as often as possible without acting like a pro or mentioning other sexual encounters to you. That is just plain trashy. There is a woman out there for you that will respect the fact that you have been with only two women thus far with little experience with both. There is a lot to learn and try out.
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 198 |
I know how you feel man. I had to break up with someone I am still in love with. I did it to be with another girl, which I plan on marrying someday, but I still love the other girl. I made the right choice, but it was still hard. Remember, don't just choose someone you can live with for the rest of your life, choose someone that you can't live without. ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 391 |
LatinDiva-- thank you for the comment. i try my best to keep that in mind. i appreciate everyone's input. it has helped a lot. |
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posted February 26, 2001 12:09 AM
