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 Elite Fitness Bodybuilding, Anabolics, Diet, Life Extension, Wellness, Supplements, and Training Boards
 Chat & Conversation
 Learn from my mistake-some things are more important than this hobby of ours
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| Author | Topic: Learn from my mistake-some things are more important than this hobby of ours | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 170 |
Priorities and Perspective. I�m sitting here wanting to tell somebody what I�ve learned as of recent. I thought why not my elite fitness buddies. I have a story that shows you can never take anything for granted. I have learned something lately that will change my life. You see, I have a problem with communication. My problem is that I choose not to communicate my feelings(with females). Also, when they want to tell me how they feel or when they have a problem with our relationship, I choose not to listen. Recently, this has cost me a great deal. I might have lost the person most special to me. Back toward the end of last year, I went through some tough financial situations on top of male PMS. I was stressed for a while and it caused a bleeding ulcer. In the meantime, I neglected this special person. I didn�t call or visit. I didn�t even ask her to visit. I was worried about me and how I was going to make it through. I made it through alright, but at a great cost. I pushed her away to the point that she gave up on me. Now that everything has cleared I find myself missing this person like never before. This reminds me. My grandfather told me of a story about a man who was driving down the road and had a wreck. The same thing happened day after day. The man went home and told his wife about every wreck and how nobody else could drive. Finally, one day, the wife said, �You know, it might not be everybody else. It might be you.� Well, you guessed it. I am that man driving that car. I am having those wrecks and it is my fault. The same grandfather along with my father always taught me to be �tough� and �hard�. �Hard� is their favorite word. They are stern and have major tempers. These are the two men that raised me. These attributes are fine while around other men, but I have learned WOMEN ARE NOT MEN. I once told a girlfriend who was crying that it wasn�t tough to cry and she never forgot that. I know women need communication. They want you to ask them what is wrong and why. They want to work things out, not ignore them till they go away(if they do go away). I can be sweet and also give a little, but to a point and then you reach the biggest shield you ever saw. I don�t reveal my true feelings because I know the danger involved. Underneath that monstrous guard is a huge heart. I�m afraid for this heart to take a beating. Now, I�m thinking if I didn�t put up such a huge guard that I wouldn�t take a beating. Where am I going with this? Well, I decided to drop that guard in hopes to salvage anything that is left between me and that special person. You see, I can change and the reason I wrote all of this to you is that I want to be held accountable. If it means skipping a workout one day or a football game on TV another to spend more time together, I�ll do it. There are things more important than bodybuilding and football(yes, I said it). I gave about 12 good years to football. Guess what it gave me. It gave me tendonitis in both knees, torn cartilage in my right elbow, a broken nose, a separated shoulder, and two torn tendons in both ankles. This person gives me a hell of a lot more than that. Last year, when I was getting ready for an NPC show, she was there through every bit of the diet, the working out, everything. Bodybuilding shows take a tremendous demand on your body with the water manipulation, sodium manipulation, training, posing, etc.not to mention the rebound effect your body goes through when it�s over. This is when a little depression kicks in. I think she complained one time, which is not bad at all considering I was unbearable for a while. Yea, I won, but at what cost(a strained relationship). Now, I want to make things right. Only time will tell if I can. I know people are more important than bills, contests, hobbies, etc. Those dearest to you should come first. You are all my friends. To get a little, you have to give a little. So maybe I won�t spend so much time worrying about what bodypart needs work,etc. And I might not be holding that trophy. It�s because I�m trying to win a contest called life. It is REAL. Did I forget to mention she is beautiful? ------------------     | ||
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Cool Novice 
Posts: 49 |
what you are saying is right, sometimes we forget what is really important to us, life, our friends, and our loves. People always tell me that i am obsessed with bodybuilding, and that i should just kick back and enjoy myself. sometimes i find myself not caring about anything but weight training and cardio, basically just caring about myself and not anyone else. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 90 |
bump- i completely agree | ||
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Moderator 
Posts: 2832 |
I am glad to see that you may have woken up in time......some of us have not been so lucky. Thank you for sharing my brotha. ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 541 |
I agree, there are more important things in life than weightlifting. Somebody posted a thread about rocks, pebbles, and sand in a jar and how ya have to know how to balance them. ------------------ | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 729 |
damn man, that was beautiful..watch some porn thread go above this one and this one will fall to the archives. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 54 |
Well, sorry to hear all that bad stuff, and I just want to say that I'm proud I can be secure enough in myself to realize that being tough and manly doesn't require you to walk around with a shit eating grin and your arms and chest puffed out like you're some billy bad ass. You really *can* live life as a "man" while laughing in public, walking normal, and having an open ear, heart and mind. You just have to be secure enough and respect yourself enough to know when to lay the smack down. Not only will this help you live life happier and with less stress, but, if this means anything to any of you, people will think you're crazy for some reason, and not want to get on your bad side, maybe it's because they're not used to seeing a "person". | ||
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Freak
Posts: 2488 |
I feel just the opposite. Even though I am young I have opened myself up in relationships in the past, 2 especially, were I was deeply hurt. No longer. That coupled with some other things has turned me into a rather unemotional 'robot.' Some girl at school, I am an introvert, and don't really need other people's company to be happy, and I shall not be fucked over again, for awhile at least. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 605 |
Where in Tennessee you at Boulder? | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 220 |
how true your story is, I know because I myself have found this to be the case, what I've come to realize is that the majority of men ( the hunter and protector theory of man's existance since the beginning of time )put up a shield of toughness and were taught as little boys to be rough and tough and not to cry, but what this does is create a person that deals introvertly with his most inner feelings and doesn't let them go until they burst out and then the man is looked at like a maniac or worse, and yes that is what a lot of men do endure during their adolesent years, the hard part is when you come into a relationship with a woman and then realize like you did that you have to open up and also you have to listen to those exact feeling that most of us keep inside from her , and these are important feelings that we don't like to talk about, it's almost as thou there should be a "Innermost Feelings Anonymous" for us men sometimes kinda like an AA, but we do need to work at it, and if you find a good woman you need to let her help you with it because most women do realize this is a problem for most men, if you love them open up and don't shun her, I know it's hard but it's necessary otherwise you can end up a lonely person without opening up about these feelings up that you've been taught to keep inside, remember they caused you to have an ulcer! | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 733 |
I think your thoughts can be identified with everyone here that has been successful at this hobby. I too have a woman that has put up with this obsession of mine for awhile now, and I've felt that same "devotion" you speak of to my bodybuilding and yet at the same time, wasn't willing to put that same effort into a relationship. I've chased this woman away twice and ended up almost physically ill when she wasn't in my presence. I am trying to become more balanced as an individual each day. Great post and good luck with the future brother. delts ------------------ | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1324 |
bump for enlightement. Puc | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 170 |
Slickdadd, I'm in west Tn near Jackson. ------------------ | ||
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Mutant  
Posts: 3253 |
Well put, I did'nt communicate with my girlfreind and ended up pushing her away for a brief priod. A few months later I am still trying to put all the pieces back together and may have missed my chance by doing so early on. If you really care about the person, you should really tell them how you feel and not jsut expect any bad things to jusr go away. | ||
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Freak
Posts: 2050 |
damn I feel old |
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posted February 24, 2001 07:49 PM
