posted February 23, 2001 09:30 AM

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oh golly...I'm being accused of being a man again....this honesty frightens me...no not really.....but if you are correct, my mom is a moron for giving me a fuckin girl name, I have sever gynomastia, I'm gay, and I have the smallest penis in history...I might even beat you for that title fistfullofsteel

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"How can one respond to such unabashed adulation? While I certainly appreciate it, it does seem quite undeserved. Obviously Ranger has, through his sheer eloquence and bravado, created an impression of me that cannot be lived up to. In the face of such, I must withdraw. Peace" ---MACRPPHAGE69ALPHA

The details of my life are quite inconsequential....Vey well, where do I begin?My father was a relentlessly selfimproving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts for being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we�d make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Wilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum...it�s breathtaking. I suggest you try it.

posted February 23, 2001 09:36 AM

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BROS BEFORE HO'S

posted February 23, 2001 03:31 PM

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what happened to the original? i hate when i get new stuff and be the last one to find out.

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