NAME:

ETHNIC INFORMATION: (voluntary)
White ( )

TYPE OF CARS OWNED:
Pickup Truck ( )
You don't own any Foreign cars, do you? NO ( )

CAR EQUIPMENT:
Gun Rack ( ) Stash ( ) CB ( ) Beer Holder ( ) Playboy air freshener ( )

BUMPER STICKERS:
"Ex-wife in trunk" ( )
"If Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Guns" ( )
"Bush/Chenny" ( )
"Shit Happens" ( )
"If you don't like my driving, get off the sidewalk" ( )

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heterosexual ( )

FAVORITE CAUSE: NRA ( ) Pro-life ( )

Total given to these causes in the last 12 months:

FAVORITE DRUGS:
Herb ( )

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SHOULD BE BANNED?:
(check all that apply)
Democrats ( ) Welfare ( ) N.O.W. ( )

FAVORITE BEER:
Miller ( ) Michelob ( ) Bud ( )

FAVORITE POLITICIAN:
Don't Care ( )

CLUB MEMBERSHIPS:
NRA ( )

How Many Automatic Weapons do you own?

5 ( ) 10 ( ) More than that ( )

FAVORITE TV SHOW: Benny Hill ( )

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Application for Permission to Live in Massachusetts

NAME:
(extra space left due to new social awareness)

ETHNIC INFORMATION: (voluntary)
Eskimo ( ) American Indian ( )Hispanic ( )Asian ( ) African-American ( )American-African ( )Black-American ( )Other Group With A Long History Of Oppression By White Males ( ) (specify, so we can help you form a political action group)

TYPE OF CARS OWNED (pick two):
SAAB ( )Volvo ( )BMW ( )Mercedes ( )Honda ( )

You don't own any American cars, do you? NO ( )

CAR EQUIPMENT:
Blaupunkt ( ) Passport ( ) Escort ( ) Vuarnet Sunglasses ( )Stash ( )CD ( ) Cell Phone ( )Ski Rack ( )Bicycle Rack ( )Wine Rack ( )

BUMPER STICKERS:
"You can't hug a child with nuclear arms" ( )
"Greenpeace" ( )
"Gore/Lieberman" ( )
"Save the Whales" ( )
"Farms not Arms" ( )

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Gay ( )Lesbian ( ) Other ( )
(note: failure to give the proper answer to the above means you can't live in certain towns on the Cape, or get elected to Congress)

FAVORITE CAUSE:
Whales ( )
Baby Seals ( )
Snail Darter ( )

Total given to these causes in the last 12 months:

FAVORITE DRUGS:
Crack ( )
Coke ( )
Herb ( )
Kitty's Diet Plan ( )

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SHOULD BE BANNED?:
(check all that apply)
The Bomb ( )
Handguns ( )
All guns ( )
Nuclear Power ( )
Cigarettes ( )
The NRA ( )
Republicans ( )

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SHOULD BE LEGALIZED?:
check all that apply)
Crack ( )
Coke ( )
Herb ( )
Needles ( )
Flag Burning ( )

FAVORITE BEER:
Samuel Adams ( )
Beck's ( )
Corona(w/lime) ( )
Latest trendy brand ( )

FAVORITE POLITICIAN:
Ted Kennedy ( )
John Kennedy ( )
Bobby Kennedy ( )
Joe Kennedy ( )

CLUB MEMBERSHIPS:
ACLU ( )
Greenpeace ( )
SDS ( )
N.O.W. ( )
A.F.S.C.M.E ( )
Billy Bulger Breakfast Club ( ) Provincetown Boys Club ( )
Bull-dykes Kennel Club ( )

Even though we can't ever get any more power from Hydro-Quebec, don't you think that Seabrook should remain closed forever?
YES ( )

Don't you think that the people in the Midwest should stop dropping acid rain on our vacation homes in Vermont, even if it means that they all lose their jobs?
YES ( )

How many watts (per channel, RMS) is your principal home stereo?
100W ( )
200W ( )
More than that ( )

How many air conditioners do you have to help you through our long New
England summers?:
2 ( ) 3 ( ) 4 ( ) Central Air ( )

(note: Fewer than two A/C units may qualify you for state subsidies if you are a non-white unemployed Democrat)

FAVORITE TV SHOW: Once and Again ( )