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 Another Jesus post, pick your theory...
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| Author | Topic: Another Jesus post, pick your theory... | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 814 |
Here's a list of theories about Jesus that I know of. See which one suits your tastes: 1. Jesus was a prophet only. he was a good man, but was not the Son of God as he claimed. The record of his teachings is probably correct, but miraculous events were added later on, as well as some rewording to make it seem like he was saying he was God. 2. There is no Jesus and no God. The whole story was probably made up by some smart guy who then later used it to manipulate the masses into submission. Perharps there was a a man named Jesus, but the rest of the story is totally made up. 3. Extraterrestrials wishing to influence the course of history sent down an Alien creature surgically altered to look like a human being. He used his superior technology (even to the day of today) to create illusions of "miracles" and possibly used super advanced healing technological knowledge to heal a few people. This would most certainly convince almost everyone that he really was a saviour. 4. Jesus was who he said he was, and there really is a God, and not only that, but he is the son of God and he is God himself. All the miracles and his teachings would then be truly legitimate, and so would the teachings in the Bible. 5. Jesus was an Android sent from the future to chance Earth's history. For the better or worse we don't know, and may not find out in our lifetime. This would also explain his calm nature, along with the fact that he didn't really "die" (after all, as an Android it's unlikely a few nails would do even minor damage to him, let alone life threatening) he possibly went through the motions and pretended to die. Once inside he used his superior mechanical strenght to push the rock aside, and later easyly showed his disiples the holes in his hands. 6. The whole thing was a massive hallucination which was triggered by intense magnetic displacement in the Earth's core. Assuming that any shift in Earth's magnetism would affect the population for a few decades, that would be enough time for the entire hallucination to start and finish, with no one ever realising what really had happened. ------------------
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Moderator 
Posts: 4256 |
Hmm.. definately not the future, alien or android theory. What about the theory that he didn't die. He was only up there a couple of hours. Usually cruxifiction takes days. What's your take on that one? | ||
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Cool Novice 
Posts: 25 |
You gotta keep the faith.......... | ||
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Guru
Posts: 4556 |
I would go with 3. Essentially the premise behind 2001: A Space Odyssey. I don't believe in god. Of course I don't believe in fate either. ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 87 |
7. None of the above ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 551 |
Okay - forget the Jesus stuff. Here is a much better question - or at least a proposition. Midgets have trouble fitting into everday society - both jobs and housing are hard to find - not to mention caring people to spend time with. Who's with me? ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 551 |
I peronsally felt that was a moment of brilliance, so I shared it with a coworker, but he tells me that Chris Rock beat me to it. Damn. I had no intention of ripping off Chris, I didn't know that he had this idea first. My apologies - but still - who's with me?! ------------------ | ||
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Freak 
Posts: 1625 |
number one..it has been relatively historically known there was a Jesus who lived a that time. I do not beleive | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 551 |
but you have to admit, that hotrod that he built for me is pretty damn sweet. ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 64 |
Happyscrappy, He built yours too? | ||
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Moderator
Posts: 4256 |
On a lighter side .. here is the JesusCam on the web, so you can see the latest view of our savior. http://www.thespark.com/thesparkcam/index_jesus.html AskJesus.Org is pretty cool too. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 814 |
Well, I believe #4 to be 100% accurate, but if I didn't, I would probably lean toward #5 as the most likely theory, it just fits so perfectly! ------------------
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 551 |
johnnyO - if you like AskJesus (my friends did that) - then you may also like http://www.jesus.com you know, trading cards, a visa card, a dating service... jesus is one high tech bastard. ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 485 |
Johnny, we were told Jesus died faster b/c he was nailed to the cross and the bleeding helped his death speed up, while the others who were crucified were roped up to them. ------------------ | ||
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Moderator
Posts: 4256 |
hmm... don't they nail them in the Phillipines on Good Friday? THat's something to look into. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 814 |
I take it very few of you actually read my theories? they are all valid theories, even if some may sound implausible (like the first 3) ------------------
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Moderator
Posts: 4256 |
I'm a doubting Thomas ... I need more info. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1263 |
Guys, Jesus was for real. He is the son of God. Anyway, whoever said that jesus was an alien, consider this: The armies of Alexander the great saw 'spaceships in the ski' around 323 bc...aliens sightings have been around... Consider that the gov't jsut declasified the rosevell thing and i saw the letter they sent Eisenhower that they recovered 4 bodies from the spaceship. Consider that they now say that it takes 1X10 to the nineteenth power to open up A BLACK HOLE and travel just like in star trek. Right now they're trying to combine einstein's theory and the quantum theory so that there will be 10 dimensions...This guy michio kaku says that in a few hundred years we'll travel just like that in star trek... The French have released a report where there have been UFO's possiblities in 5% of the cases...in two of them they saw large spaceships over their airbases and shit... Anyway...there's so much evidence of UFO's that it doesn't surprise me that they visited the earth for thousands of years...earth was made 4.6 billion years ago i believe...To have that technology to visit us they'd be a few thousand years ahead of us. My point is that the universe is so big. when i hear people say that it just happened and nothing made it...i just stay there and laugh. There is a greater power than us. Nothing just came to be just like that. Something had to start before all of this. Jesus is the son of God, or he is an alien...that's the only 2 possibilities. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 141 |
BullCrap to entertain idiots... | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 70 |
Jesus is a dead Jew. Let him rest in peace. | ||
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Freak
Posts: 1603 |
If God was alive he'd hate you anyway. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1263 |
One theory that i also heard is that before Jesus preached in Palestine he went throughout the world and preached the same message. that's why all the stories fit toghether wether it's budhism or some other religion... | ||
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Freak
Posts: 1625 |
How come only poor trailer trash get to see UFO's??? How come educated people never see them? Wouldnt aliens want a superior specimen if they want to conduct experiments? And as for people seeing aliens in 323 BC, I think that was around the same time they thought the sun revolved around the earth... | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 66 |
4 | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 513 |
4 | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 425 |
#3 close but I think we are hear to find out what the the universe is about- We could have put ourselfes hear thru time travel. The fact that every country that has the means, is in space---why would a commi country want to go to space unless it knew something or was told something(from aliens). Not to long ago everyone thought that earth was flat and you would be killed if you thought diff. I think everyone that thinks their is nothing out their Living-----Is just narrow minded---You people that think that are just like the people that didnt believe columbus---Look how wrong they were. |
All times are ET (US) | |
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posted February 09, 2001 02:56 PM
