|
|
 |
 |
|
 Elite Fitness Bodybuilding, Anabolics, Diet, Life Extension, Wellness, Supplements, and Training Boards
 Chat & Conversation
 TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH
|
| Author | Topic: TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH | ||
|
Freak 
Posts: 1640 |
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about your leaving it down. 2. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 3. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. 4. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. 5. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! 6. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 7. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 8. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way. 10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 11. You have enough clothes. 12. You have too many shoes. 13. Crying is blackmail. 14. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it! 15. We don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar. 16. Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes. 17. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 18. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 19. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. 20. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. 23. Check your oil. 24. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz. 25. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days. 26. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 27. Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic. 28. You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both. 29. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 30. ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color. 31. If it itches, it will be scratched. 32. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. 33. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle. 34. What the hell is a doily?     | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 1053 |
funny shit gil i think #4 needs to be taught to girls starting in kindergarten | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1441 |
1) if I pay the rent the gaddman toliet seat goes where I say. If you wish to have equal seat time...YOU pay the fucking rent. 2) If you ogle, so do I. FAir is fair. 3) I have no fucking idea what a gaddamn doily is, but it sounds like I don't want one. | ||
|
Moderator 
Posts: 2568 |
Brotha Gillybag - I wish more men thought like you.....really I do! Oh, and about the peeing - I have to disagree, peeing while "hoevering" is waaaaaaay more difficult. You should try it sometime, ESPECIALLY AFTER LEGS DAY. ------------------ | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1217 |
perfectly said | ||
|
Guru
Posts: 2803 |
GIL---Bikini Mom is correct: 16. Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes---NOT....squatting cause the seat is covered with urine...takes not only quad strength, but if wearing a skirt or tights a balancing act as well The rest I have no beefs with my little lacey doily [This message has been edited by AGENT SHAGWELL (edited January 31, 2001).] | ||
|
Freak
Posts: 1640 |
ok, hoevering... Ill give ya that one if your at a port-o-potty. But if your at home, be a sweaty & wipe the seaty. | ||
|
Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1384 |
Gil, Females must hover over any public toilet seat...and after leg day or being out dancing all night, thats near impossible. 27. Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic. Kat is right, fair is most certainly FAIR. 31. If it itches, it will be scratched. A doily is that little lace thing that goes on tables and stuff... ------------------ | ||
|
Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 226 |
Ladies: You can either believe "Equal pay for equal work" or "I wanna marry a millionare" but not both. | ||
|
Moderator
Posts: 2568 |
I whole-heartedly AGREE! Besides, there is NO AMOUNT OF MONEY that could make me lay under a guy with softer titties than me! EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! ------------------ |
All times are ET (US) | |
 |
Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.45c
posted January 31, 2001 11:14 AM
...
