Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying "Thank you" though it helps if you say it with a Southern accent.

Some people are working backstage, some are playing in the orchestra, some are on-stage singing, some are in the audience as critics, some are there to applaud. Know who and where you are.

Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.

Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter.

If you tell a lie, don't believe it deceives only the other person.

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right."

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

If he says that you are too good for him -- believe it.

I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"

Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

If you wake up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

Living well really is the best revenge.

Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just proves that the other person was right about you.

Be really nice to your friends because you never know when you are going to need them to empty your bed pan and hold your hand.

Work is good but it's not important.

Never underestimate the kindness of your fellow man.

You are the only person who can truly make you happy.

And finally.. Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.

[I always thought the five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship were: "Shut the fuck up, bitch!" - Jerky]

quote:

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Originally posted by 2Thick:

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right."

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Very True!!

NOBODY SAYS LIFE IF FAIR! IF THEY DO, THEY MUST BE POLITICIAN!

After all, there's good reason to suspect them any way.

One of my favorites has always been -

"The greatest gift a man can give his children is to love their mother."

That and -

"Everyone has something to teach, you only have to pay attention."

ha ha cool stuff though.

"If you chase 2 rabbits, both will escape."

"Many things in life will catch your eye, but few will catch your heart--pursue those!"

"A ship's safe in the harbour, but that's not what ships were made for."

"Make your own rules." (my mandatory 'Varsity Blues' quote)

And one of my all time favorites..."It takes 400-some odd muscles to frown, yet only about 4 to raise your arm and bitch-slap the motherf*cker upside the head."