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 Elite Fitness Bodybuilding, Anabolics, Diet, Life Extension, Wellness, Supplements, and Training Boards
 Chat & Conversation
 Something to offend most everyone.....
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| Author | Topic: Something to offend most everyone..... | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 194 |
> Something To Offend Darn-Near Everyone. . . > > Where does an Irish family go on vacation? > A different bar. > > Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? > They named him Sum Ting Wong. > > What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the > other? > A speech impediment. > > What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half > mast? > They're hiring. > > Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek? > Because they're not going to work in the future, either. > > Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? > He walks around saying, "Yo" > > What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm? > A pimp. > > Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on > Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? > Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. > > What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? > A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, > along with a recipe. > > How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say f*ck? > Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! > > What's the Cuban national anthem? > "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" > > What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern > fairytale? > A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." > A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit... > > Which sexual position produces the ugliest kids? > Go ask your mother > > How do you know when your really ugly? > When your dog humps your leg with his eyes closed. > > What's the fastest way to clear out the men's restroom? > Say "Nice Penis" > > How do you know when you are leading a sad life? > When a nymphomaniac tells you that she just wants to be friends > > Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? > Because they have cotton balls. > > Mom's have mothers day, dads have fathers day, what do single guys have? > Palm Sunday > > Why is being in the military like a blowjob? > The closer you get to discharge the better you feel. > > What do you call a 90 yr old man who can still masterbate? > Miracle Whip > > What does a 70 yr old woman have between her breasts? > Her naval > > Why did god create alcohol? > So ugly people could have sex too > > Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? > Mace will do that to you. > > What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws little ole ladies? > A bingo machine > > What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? > A porcupine has pricks on the outside > > What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? > Beer Nuts are $1.25, and deer nuts are alwasy under a buck. > > What 3 2-letter words mean small? > IS IT IN? > > Why did OJ Simpson want to move to W. Virginia? > Everyone has the same DNA there. >     | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 858 |
YOU RACIST!! | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 909 |
that is fucked up! ------------------ | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1389 |
hahaha, Im sure someone will take offense to something in there. | ||
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Freak 
Posts: 1647 |
funny shit | ||
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Cool Novice 
Posts: 47 |
hehe those r pretty good. i like the retarted baby one(me being asian)  | ||
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Freak
Posts: 1574 |
LMAO! ------------------ | ||
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Novice 
Posts: 6 |
RATFLMAO!!! Nice 1 | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 154 |
LMFAO!!!!! ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 154 |
LMFAO!!!!! 2 sheep, pimp,,,, ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 462 |
HAHAHAHA cuban national anthem...haha ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 439 |
quote: bwahahaha.. funny thread! ------------------ | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 636 |
I'm only offended cuz i don't understand the italian joke. ------------------ "how much can you really know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?" Tyler Durden | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 439 |
quote: italian people tend to speak a lot with their hands.. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 76 |
I love this set of jokes, the Puerto Rican one kills me every time!!!!! Although I don't know why, I only know one and she's the hardest worker I know....course she's a ho! Just kidding she's a programmer, but it sounded good | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1417 |
What language(s) do you program in Code-Code? | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 76 |
Latimer, perl (if you consider it a language), java (which I do not consider a language [heh]), C, C++ blah blah blah. But I hate programming. I'm sytems engineer/systems security mgr. for a smart card company....wanna hack some smart cards? Hehe! | ||
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Guru 
Posts: 2302 |
No black jokes? Here, I've got one. Q: Why don't back people use aspirin? I don't want to hear one fucking racist comment either...I'm italian, one room mate is black and the other is asian. ------------------ Visit my website (free of all Musclehedz pictures) at http://profiles.elitefitness.com | ||
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Guru
Posts: 2394 |
Ha ha ha. I am a racist and those were funny. There are people in every race I hate, therefore I am a racist i guess. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 311 |
THAT'S FUCKING FUNNY AS HELL!!!!!! LMFAO!!!!! ------------------ | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 752 |
One of my ex's drives a BMW....I sent that joke to everyone that knows him! LMAO! ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 194 |
glad to see everyone enjoyed these as much as me. EAST_COAST_BODYBUILDER | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 713 |
god, imagine if i posted that thread... i'd have people screaming to burn me... dude, YOU FUCKIN MADE ME LAUGH MANY TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thank you... and i thank the others here for realizing they are JOKES! time to copy and paste these before someone has them deleted. | ||
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Moderator
Posts: 1616 |
quote: that shit is too funny ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 183 |
some funny shit! For the people this bothers, just keep reading them over and over! [This message has been edited by Wombat (edited January 12, 2001).] | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 228 |
Here's a gender one: What do tell a girl with two black eyes? Nothin, you already told the bitch twice | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 51 |
haha.. that's some funny shit.. give us more! | ||
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Novice
Posts: 7 |
Actually those are pretty funny, especially the one about the Alabama sheep farmer. At least you didn't exclude anyone. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 51 |
OK, ok, I got a joke for all you city dwellers.... 1) Two spanish guys and a black guy are in a car, who's driving? The cop! 2) What does a black man want for Christmas? Your tv, shoes, shirt, money, chain, etc... And remember folks, I am not a racist, I equally hate everybody | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 371 |
That's some funny shit. ------------------ | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1059 |
haha this is a great thread,i hate missin all the good ones ------------------ "Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity." "In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take prozac to make it normal." http://pub33.ezboard.com/bburnboy check this board out its just gettin started |
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posted January 10, 2001 10:39 AM
"BITCH! You can't do this to me!" Silvio
