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 Elite Fitness Bodybuilding, Anabolics, Diet, Life Extension, Wellness, Supplements, and Training Boards
 Chat & Conversation
 IF YOU'VE EVER HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN...
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| Author | Topic: IF YOU'VE EVER HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN... | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 79 |
This is serious and I mean dead serious. Its a long story of my life that goes back almost 4 years ago. When I was still in high school, age 18, I met a cute girl through a summer co-ed baseball league I played in. I've know her from a few years before and I always thought she was cute but more importantly, I was drawn to the fact she was a superb athlete. We'll call her Jane. Anyhow, we hooked up that summer and spent a lot of time together. At that time as well, we double dated quite frequently with her best friend who was attractive but not my type. However, she lived on her own..a 17 year old with a condo all to herself. We'll call her Josie. Well, at that time, Jane's parents were really trying to make sure that she concentrate on getting into a good university and she worked her butt off. That sort of put a strain on our relationship because she couldn't go anywhere. Well, Jane told me to hang out with Josie because she was all alone and her bf had curfews too. So when school started in the sept 98, I hung out once in a while with Josie. Soon, I was hanging our more and more and more with her and we became close friends. Josie is sort of naive, or really gullable so she didn't know where this was going. Plus, she was trying to work out her relationship with her bf. Well, sure as it is, both Jane and Josie's bf were not pleased about us spending so much time together. I ended up breaking up with Jane after I realized that all we had was a fun...nothing serious. I never connected with her. But she figured I only broke up with her because I liked her best friend. I was shocked when she called me to tell me that Josie and her bf broke up a few days later after Jane and I broke up. She was like, "cutemonkey, I know you like Josie. That's why we broke up." oH MAN was I shocked. Anyhow, I was a little excited to know that Josie had broken up with her bf. We had been discussing each other's relationship during the time we spent together and I guess this was what it lead up to. Anyhow, I called Josie immediately to let her know that I was attracted to her. However, she wasn't ready for a new relationship since she was going out with that guy for like 2 years. Nothing got ackward because we were close friends and I could tell that she was attracted to me as well. And then, 4 days before Christmas, I went on a trip to New York to visit relatives. She drove me to the bus station and we said our goodbyes. Everything was good because I was coming back on Christmas Eve night just in time to have dinner with my family and she was invited. But I couldn't get my mind off her and I called her everyday and night from New York. I eventually did get back on Christmas eve morning which was way earlier than expected. But I called her from my cell (which was where I was calling her from when I was in NY) so she thought I was still in NYC. Anyhow, I told her I wasn't coming home in time for Christmas. She was disaapointed and she tried to hide it...but you can tell. So I bought flowers and food and drove over to her house to surprise her. She was so happy, she started to cry. That's when I knew she liked me as much. But all this time, she was still dealing with her ex calling her and trying to get back together. We had a good dinner at my house that night but after, we went back to her condo and talked all night. Then...the big moment. We were just lying down side by side on her bed and talking... I was really tired...3am and then out of nowhere, she turned around and kissed me. It was a hot and passionate kiss that seemed to last light years. That's all we ever did. I had no problems with that. I didn't want to bang her because I honestly believed that I loved her and I was only 18yrs old. We ended up seeing each other everyday and night during the holidays. I loved every second of it. We were such good friends and we connected. But she was still in love with her ex. I rushed her..I knew I did. And in the end.. she broke my heart. A day after I got into a car accident, she got back together with her ex. I haven't spoken to her since. That was 3 years ago. Today, I'm with a girl I've been dating for almost 2 years now. I love my gf. I know that one day when we graduate, we will get married. Our families are waiting, our friends and our church are waiting for that day as well. Everyone says that. The only problem is, I feel that sometimes, I'm still in love with Josie and waiting for her. I know I would be the stupidest guy in the world if I broke off what I have now just to see if Josie and I were meant to be. Its a huge risk that doesn't make sense. I dream about Josie once in a while. I've bumped into her and her bf a few times... she's happy for sure...I get angry when I see them togethre...but I'm happy for her. To those who have had their heart broken before...I can tell you this..the heart may heal..but the scars will always be a reminder of a life happier..once upon a time.    | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 79 |
sorry for the long post!! | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 121 |
seems that no matter what road you choose, you are going to have that dreaded "what if" in your life... "what if" i had tried to make it work. etc.. "what if" josie still feels the same for me... etc... i feel for you, i believe i too have a what if... what if i stayed in nashville (and didnt go insane)... what if??? well, you have moved on and if at all possible you should just try to remember that experience has helped shape who you are today, and be thankful for the time you had with josie and the bond you two will forever share.  | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 1461 |
I have been there, I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I have been with my current GF for six years and I sometimes think of my previous GF. She really was ALL THAT, not to knock my current GF because she is everything I want too and has much better inner beauty. I think it has to do with the fact that your first true love will always hold a fond place in your heart. I would have married my previous GF, but she had qualities and insecurities that destroyed our relationship. And I have seen in these six years that have gone by, those very same qualities destroy her other relationships too. Sometimes I see her around town, looking sad and lost and I can only remember when she was so happy with me. The heart feels a tug and the mind thinks What If???? True Love doesn't go away easy, but I would never go back. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 79 |
But why do I keep on thinking about her? I've had girls I've dated in the past for years and I don't even think of them. With Josie, we never even went out. Maybe that's why...there is some inconclusion to our time we spent together. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 79 |
Thanks Jae..good advice..funny thing is, Josie was not my first love. I had a girl I loved before that for like 3 years...when we were going out. I think about her too sometimes but not as often as Josie. I think that because I actually ended everything with my first love, it hasn't effected me like that...its the closure thing I tell you. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1461 |
Perhaps it is the closure thing, maybe you need that. I know I didn't get it with my previous GF. This sounds kind of bad, but I woke up one morning in her house and because of what happened the night before, when I left that day, I never returned. I still had and still do have things of mine over there. She called me about 4 months after I left and asked me to come get them, but I offered to send her money to mail them to me, she mailed some, but not everything. I have only seen her since that time maybe a couple of dozens times even though we move in the same circles. When I did see her, I never spoke, she would be standing by just watching and staring with sad eyes, and I could tell I hurt her, but the truth was I had such strong feelings for her that I was scared to talk because I would probably break down and go back to her. I still do think of her alot. A LOT!! She honestly made me perfectly content and the relationship when it was good, it was almost spiritual. She wasn't exactly the first girl I loved, but she was the first that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. So the emotional ties were very strong. Even today I find myself thinking of her and wondering how she is doing. As I said earlier, she was very, VERY insecure and my current GF is a multi millionaire and I know that my old GF would be devastated to learn I had someone like her. So I have been careful to keep not to overly flaunt that in her face. Funny thing though, if I did go back, I would be utterly happy .... for about two weeks and then I would realize how foolish it was to dwell on this. Maybe that is what you need to . | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 79 |
My current gf isn't a multimillionaire... but that doesn't matter. She's my best friend in the whole world and I wouldn't want to spend another day with someone else. But like you said, I think my feelings are nothing to act on. Who knows..I'd say Josie is different today then she was when I knew her. Maybe I just want to go and tell her how much she hurt me...and that will conclude everything. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1429 |
I still can't get over that you are a guy and chose the name "cutemonkey". ------------------ | ||
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Guru 
Posts: 2225 |
Man I got hives when my first love left me. I thought is was posion ivy at first, but it was my f'n nerves. That is bad. | ||
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Moderator
Posts: 3304 |
my heart was broken twice, once by a girl when I was 14 (hmm.. I wonder if that has anything to do with how I am). .. and once again when I was 18. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 50 |
I think Jae is right. We all likely have some previous love that has always remained in our minds or hearts to some extent. I know I have mine. The problem is trying to look for that exact same thing again. I ended many relationships after because I wanted exactly what I had the first time. No 2 relationships will be the same. I let previous feelings interfer with present ones and ended up in this self sabatoge cycle. Those "what ifs" will only haunt you if you let them. Be grateful for what you had AND what you have. Some people never find love mroe than once in their life. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1415 |
quote: ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 ------------------ Because of my title I was the first to enter here. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 792 |
Can't go back Monk...go forward...it was what it was....keep memories what they are. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 79 |
Listen MP3, get over it. Just because Crappy Inflamo is the only person on this earth who would call you cutemonkey, doesn't mean others won't. What is it that you can't get over?..., r u too man to have someone call you that?...sheesh...sucks to be you. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1429 |
If I was a chick I would not date a guy named cutemonkey either. Perhaps you should ask her ex for some chick advice, he seems to know what works! ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 79 |
Wait...if you weren't a girl? huh?...you're not a girl? Ha ha ha...lmao. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1429 |
No, I am not a girl...but on a side note, your girl is getting banged by someone else. ------------------ | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 792 |
Monk...dont' bother....MP5 has always been a pretentious knob, and Cappy enjoys poking your buttons..hes a great guy really...just ignore them. Im being serious here. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1429 |
Define "knob". Haha | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 79 |
Don't worry Kat, I won't let these little girls get to me. I'm just bored at work. Its all fun. Funny thing thought Kat, my gf works with me. As a matter of fact, she's watching me as I'm typing this. As a matter of fact, she might even be on this board right now. Isn't this clown something? Ha ha ha. You're going to have to come up with something better than that MT1. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1429 |
How does you girlfriend like you whining about past chicks? She must have a lot of self esteem to stick with you. Yeah right... ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 79 |
My gf and I are secure in our relationship. We've talked about this as a matter of fact. Just because you've dated 2 dollar bottome feeding dirty skanks who have no confidence (its obvious because their with you), please, don't try and judge my gf. Thank you. |
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posted January 04, 2001 05:04 PM
