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Topic: AWW..Somethings Just Make Me Laugh...

AGENT SHAGWELL

Guru

Posts: 2296
From:cryogenically frozen somewhere in FL
Registered: Aug 2000

posted December 28, 2000 04:11 PM

Staff Use Only: IP: Logged

Found this on the interent:

The following were actually taken from recent classified ads in
newspapers:

- ----------------------------
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
- ----------------------------
AMANA WASHER $100.
OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.
- -----------------------------
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
- -------------------------------
FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART DOG
- ------------------------------
2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
- ------------------------------
TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT'S OWN 1998 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO,
EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
- -------------------------------
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
- --------------------------------
83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000
- ---------------------------------
STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15
- ---------------------------------
FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL -
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
- -----------------------------------
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.
- ----------------------------------
SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE
89 cents
- -----------------------------------
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
- -----------------------------------
FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR WARRANTY.
LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
- -----------------------------------
FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF
3 BR 2 BATH HOME.
- ---------------------------------
FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50
- -----------------------------------
NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED. CALL CHUBBIE
- -------------------------------------
BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
- --------------------------------------
SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS
- --------------------------------------
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE.. BETTER BE REWARD.
- ---------------------------------------
HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
- ----------------------------------------
GET A LITTLE JOHN: THE TRAVELING URINAL HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER.
- -----------------------------------------
HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
- -----------------------------------------
GEORGIA PEACHES- CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
- ------------------------------------------
NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE - SLIGHTLY STAINED
- -------------------------------------------
FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.
- ------------------------------------------
AMERICAN FLAG - 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED $100
- -------------------------------------
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND
FLEXIBLE
HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.
- ---------------------------------------------
NOTICE: TO THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 7
NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE: PLEASE RETURN THE PUMPKIN AND BE CHECKED. PUMPKIN MAY BE RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER PLANTS IN VICINITY ARE DEAD.
- ------------------------------------------------
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS-$175.
- -------------------------------------------------
OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
- -------------------------------------------------
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
- ------------------------------------------------
LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY.
- ------------------------------------------------
ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
- --------------------------------------------
GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.
- ------------------------------
GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL.
- ----------------------------------
BAR S SLICED BALOGNA REGULAR OR TASTY SAVE 30 CENTS ON 2
- ----------------------------------
OPEN HOUSE - BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON- FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
- --------------------------------------
KELLOGG'S POT TARTS - $1.99 box
- -----------------------------------------------
FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09 lb.