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 Elite Fitness Bodybuilding, Anabolics, Diet, Life Extension, Wellness, Supplements, and Training Boards
 Chat & Conversation
 I am fucking depressed as hell!!!
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| Author | Topic: I am fucking depressed as hell!!! | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 415 |
I stupidly broke up with my girlfriend about 2 mos ago. I am also going through a terribly hard divorce (been separated for almost 2 years. Anyway I had been going out with this girl (Debbin) for about 5 mos and we got along really well. Problem was, I could not open up to her because I am so sick of getting hurt. I ended up breaking up with her because she wanted to move so fast and I was not ready for that yet. She felt that I did not care for her as much as she cared for me. I thought I would be OK without her but I can't stop thinking about her. This weekend I went to the night club wheere she works as a bartender and I walked right up to her and told her how I felt about her. The first thing out of her mouth was " I have a boyfriend and I am very happy", it was like a knife going through my heart to hear those words from her. Anyway, we talked a bit more through the night and it became obvious that she was still pretty bitter about our breakup. She told me that she still has feelings for me and that she wants to be friends. I had seen her out with this guy before but thought there was no way she could be with him, he's a fat gumpy fucker and she is such a piece of ass, 5'11 140# long brunette hair. I have been replaced my that, it makes me sick to think of them together. Anyway, I'm pretty torn up over it, The head bouncer there approached me and offered me a job bouncing for the club and I would work the same hours as her. The adult in me me wants to do it because I know I would get to see my x a lot. The kid in me would rip this fat fuckers head off when he came to see my x. I think she was pretty hurt by our breakup and basically took the first guy that asked her and ran with him cuz she was hurt. This really sucks!!! Not to sound like a egomaniac but I get hit on by women all the time but she still has my heart and I just can't see anyone else. Spending these holidays without her is fucking driving me insane. Sorry about the whining but I really do not have anyone to talk to about this. I'm not sure if I should keep trying to get her back, or somehow try to move on with my life. I decided not to bounce at the club, I know I could not handle seeing them together and I bet it would make her uncomfortable as well to have to see me. Well that's it, OK I feel like a puss but I had to vent!     | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 640 |
the ADULT??? in you wants to work there? geez man, not very adult like if you want to stalk her while she is working.. .ya, thats basically what you would be doing... keeping an eye on her with the hope that she will fall back in love with you... you let her know how you feel, she moved on though... if she starts thinking of you more and more, your phone will ring, if not then that gumpy fucker she is with now must treat her pretty damn good and she is HAPPIER with him then she could be with you.... you lost. get your divorce over and done with and move on in life... i really am nice | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 415 |
Geeze, thanks a lot, I said I decided not to work there, that's basically why (I'm not a stalker) She did say that she wants to see me. I think you are right, it is time to move on. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 640 |
dont do that jump to a different relationship just to get over her shit...
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Moderator 
Posts: 2216 |
LivinLarger, I don't know much about the mind of women...but I do know this: 1. It is ruled by emotion. What you'll have to do in order to get her back, is try to think along those lines. (Not easy). Don't try to out-do the other guy, (spend more $$$, buy her more stuff etc..don't do that) because it gives her the impression that you see her as shallow. Instead, let her know you care about her. If she's seeing someone else (holy shit it's annoying, right?), just keep your distance - send her a card/email/phone call every now and then, etc (postcards from trips are very effective because she sees you having a good time and thinking about her....of course in the meantime you are living your life and working toward your goals, seeing other people... But what (if anything) will bring her back to you is becoming successful, and not forgetting about her. As you succeed toward your individual goals, she will be drawn to it, as long as she knows she still matters to you. This process is not fast or easy, but the success rate is pretty high. I have proof. In other words, if you shine your light brightly enough, she will be drawn to it. -------------------------------------------
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 415 |
Thanks for the words Matt, that is some good advice. I have been keeping my distance just writing her a letter here and there, I want to keep in touch with her somehow. I can wait her out, I'm not interrested in anyone else anyhow. | ||
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Moderator
Posts: 2216 |
Livin, I've been there like you wouldn't believe bro. Patience is your most important asset. In the meantime, while you are frustrated, continue to work for your goals. YOU CAN'T PUT YOUR LIFE ON HOLD WAITING FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO NOTICE. Do you get along with her family? That is often a powerful asset if you keep in touch with them.....depends on your situation but it can't hurt. See, in my situation, when I was seeing this girl, I was "in between" in my life - I was just leaving the military and not sure about the next step. So she didn't know if she could be serious with me because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. In the insecure mind of women, the fact that I was considering going back to school meant I wasn't ready to be serious with her.....totally untrue. I went back to school and it was a great decision. I watched her date another guy...he was a little older, owned a house, etc...but he was a putzz. Since then I have finished school and I'm making $55 an hour doing consulting. This number will balloon once I start working full time (I do computer network consulting). I kept her informed every single step of the way. At no time did I try to force myself on her, or ridicule her for her past mistakes, and not once did I gloat. That's immaturity and she will notice that. All I did was tell her that "things are going well, and I hope they are for you too..." that kind of stuff. I just let her mind work the associations....Matt succeeds and thinks of me...eventually, she'll figure it out. |
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posted December 25, 2000 11:00 AM