Wahoo! I�m happier than a two-peckered billygoat high on Viagra! What�s got me feelin� this way is some swell news �bout another big pot bust! The target this time: two Wisconsin fellers old enough to be my grandpa! A couple of days back, federal agents ended up confiscatin� over half a million dollars worth of pot plants from their property. Accordin� to a Wisconsin justice department spokesman, it�s the most important bust of its kind there this year. Hats off to them drug enforcement officers! Those two evil elderly grass growers - both of �em brothers - might very well end up doin� 30 years in the slammer if they�s convicted. �Course they�d also croak in there seein� as how one of �em is 74 an� the other�s 80. But that just serves �em right for engagin� in an activity that�s been one of the most serious problems plaguin� our nation: the illegal drug business! And I don�t rightly give a racoon�s ass if one of the arrested fellers was growin� weed to make enough money to care for his son who�s a retard! The law�s the law and he shoulda known that the American guverment don�t make no exceptions for nobody! Yep, ol� Hornytoad was awful glad back in �82 when Ronnie Reagan declared War on Drugs, and you better believe I gave Bush Sr. a slap on the back when he escalated the war seven years later. Ever since then, more than half the folks doin� time in federal jails are there on drug-related convictions. There�s more of �em behind bars than there are violent offenders, tax evaders an� gun traffickers! And yet, that still ain�t nearly enough far as I�m concerned. I sure hope that under the next Prez, our drug enforcement officers will round up every last degenerate cultivatin�, sellin� or consumin� noggin-rottin� substances! Lock �em up an� throw away the key, sez me!

Natcherally, ya always got them pinko radical types who dare to suggest that the holy War on Drugs ain�t no proper way at all of dealin� with the problem. They claim that what�s REALLY wrong is makin� narcoticks against the law in the first place! Well, if ignorance is bliss, them radicals are blistered alright! Don�t they know that outlawin� drugs goes a long ways in keepin� the economy healthy an� strong? Without the War on Drugs, lotsa folks would be out of a job includin� policemen, lawyers, judges, prison guards, an� the people who build the jails. If all of a sudden drug use was decriminalized, a whole mess of money wouldn�t be made no more and that�s downright un-American! Commie liberals also figger that outlawin� dope helps to make huge profits for the drug trade, attractin� ghetto kids to gangs where they commence to killin� each other. Who the heck gives a flyin� fuck? It�s just them smelly minorities who live in the ghettos anyhow!