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 *** Opinions needed ***
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| Author | Topic: *** Opinions needed *** |
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AY Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 139) |
posted May 28, 2000 09:11 PM
  
Hey bros, I may have a mental disorder. I tried denying it for a long time and only now do I really have to face up to it. This is what happened. When I was in my teens I was skinny as hell and never got any respect and got picked on all the time. I turned to weights in a desire to grow big and not be bullied. I started out at a measly 53kg. Friends used to laugh at me when I said I was going to the gym and said that it was a waste of time, that I will always be small. I continued despite their taunting and after 2 years, I had gained 17 kg. The taunting stopped, but my fear of being bullied never stopped. It's now 6 years from when I first picked up a weight and I still have a need to be big. Some say that it's started to consume me, to take over my life. It was a very gradual process and I never really stopped to think about it until now. I tore my rotator cuff a few weeks ago and having to lay off and lose ground. The truth is that I NEED to be big. I turned to AS to help me get bigger and I think I've got a problem now. I think that no matter how big I grow, I still feel like the pencilneck that I was long time ago. I'm turning to all of you for help and maybe some of you have been in my shoes and have faced this problem. I'd rather not have to go to some shrink who is going to charge me a bomb just to tell me I was not loved as a child or some other bullshit like that. Thanks for your time. AY IP: Logged |
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BigJay81 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 90) |
posted May 28, 2000 09:29 PM
Bump this for some help we are both in the same boat. And it has consummed my life I live at the gym or at least I shold. It has affected relationships because I don't know why She is with me If I look so small she always says honey your huge why can't you look at yourself and feal good about about how you look. Sometimes I stop and think why am I hear at the gym I'm not ant bigger I look at my stats and I have gained 30 lbs. of muscle in 2 years when I got serious about B.B. Some people will never accomplish things I think are meager. I waste space and time. All that matters is my family and girl of 4 years and making myself bigger everyday. But some times I don't see why I am here who would care I'f I'm gone. So fuck all of this shit Sometimes nothing matters. If it weren't for my overtrainning I would be at least 50lbs. heavier instead of 30lbs. I just force myself to go 2 aday or I feel like a fat slobe who is never going to make it. I just want to see my self as a stong person that everyone will be happy to have as a friend instead of my friends at the gym the weights. LIFE SUCKS WHAT ARE WE TO DO ------------------ IP: Logged |
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moe dank Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 588) |
posted May 28, 2000 09:33 PM
there is a post about this called reverse anorexia or something. It is common amoung bodybuilders. that is why we end up looking like we do. I am still small, but have only been back lifting a few months. I have it cause i am small, but even when i was big i still felt small and weak. It helps to kick the shit out of a guy every now and then. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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JUGGERNAULT Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 15) |
posted May 28, 2000 09:34 PM
YOU GUYS HAVE GOT THE LITTLE MAN SYNDROME. I HAD IT TOO, I WAS ONLY 140 POUNDS WHEN I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL, I TURNED TO WEIGHTS AND ROIDS, AND STARTED BOXING WHEN I WAS ONLY 12. YOU WILL NEVER GET OVER IT UNLESS YOU CAN LEARN TO JUST BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF THE WAY YOU ARE. HOW BIG IS BIG ENOUGH? THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.... IP: Logged |
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superdave Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 115) |
posted May 28, 2000 09:34 PM
shit guys...the one who posted this should try kicking the shit out of a few people, not out of the blue, but do it sometime and it will probably make you feel not so puny. To everyone: everything in moderation, including roids and training and all that...have different things to work towards and strive for so your not focusing like a laser beam on training and roids and shit, helps me anyway. IP: Logged |
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BigJay81 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 90) |
posted May 28, 2000 09:38 PM
I guarentee its not little mans syndrome I was 5'10 182 lbs. when I finished highschool. Always treated with respect no one picked on me just always felt small. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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MattTheSkywalker Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 939) |
posted May 28, 2000 09:42 PM
You are talking about "muscle dysmorphia". I used to have it, but it went away. I used to be thinner (though always kind of tall) and I turned to lifting and got equally passionate about it. Now I weigh 255lbs, (roughly 105kgs)and people are always commenting on how big I have gotten. That is now what drives me to stay in the gym. Matt IP: Logged |
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AY Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 139) |
posted May 28, 2000 10:28 PM
Thanks to all of you. I will do my best to just get over it by concentrating on what I have achieved instead of what I'm lacking. I know that I'll never be huge as people like Nasser but I'll have to learn to be satisfied with who I am. It's very difficult, though. I've conditioned myself to think in such a manner and breaking the habit will be difficult. About the beating the shit out of others, I'm not really out to degrade others and make them feel the way I did. I appreciate the good sentiments from you all, but I'd rather not have to make someone else feel the way I did before. Cheers mates, AY IP: Logged |
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Brutis Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 91) |
posted May 28, 2000 10:52 PM
This is a really sad commentary on bodybuilding, because I think we can all see a little of ourselves in this guy. Media plays a big role in our self worth, but I still know how you feel. Jest keep telling yourself you know you will never be as big as Nassar, but who cares? Know that you are bigger and stronger than all those fucks you work with who live on coffee and cheese crackers and couldn't bench the bar if their lives depended on it. Peace. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Diver Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 123) |
posted May 28, 2000 10:57 PM
...tell me about your mother... IP: Logged |
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moe dank Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 588) |
posted May 28, 2000 11:20 PM
lmao, diver. therapist suck............. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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CB38AC Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 217) |
posted May 28, 2000 11:38 PM
started at 145 up to 195 ina year so i had it but its gone mesomorph I guess IP: Logged |
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BETHEMAN1DAY Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 101) |
posted May 28, 2000 11:56 PM
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL...I STARTED TO COMPETE IN POWERLIFTING AT AGE 15 UNTIL I WAS 17 AND EVEN BROKE A TEENAGE DRUG FREE DEADLIFTING RECORD. I STARTED AT THE 132 LB CLASS AND WENT TO THE 148 LB CLASS (ALWAYS FEELING WEAK AND LITTLE) NOW AFTER A COUPLE OF CYCLES ON A/S I AM 5.7", SEVENTEEN AND A HALF INCH ARMS (PUMPED) 26" QUADS, SQUAT 505 AND DEADLIFT THE SAME I WEIGH 200 LBS AND I FEEL LIKE A PENCIL NECK GEECK. I FEEL LIKE IF I MISS ONE DAY WITHOUT WORKING OUT..I MIGHT AS WELL JUST QUIT ALTOGETHER.....WHAT TO DO ?/ IP: Logged |
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Cornobbled Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 60) |
posted May 29, 2000 02:24 AM
Have you ever asked yourself the question: When will I be happy with my size? Or how big is big enough? If you answered "never" to the first or just can't answer the second, you a probably just like most of the rest of us here. We do what we do because we like to grow. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Nobody called Gandhi a fool for dedicating his life to world peace. Likewise, no one should think badly of you for dedicating your life to bodybuilding. And if they do, just beat the shit out of them. That should make you feel better. You are not alone brother. We can all relate. IP: Logged |
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bstrong Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 247) |
posted May 29, 2000 02:37 AM
i allways felt jelous toward small skinny guys cause i'm big sllow matabolisem kind of a guy, no matter how much cardio i cant get the abs out, and useally got high fat levells it's allways simms to me that babes go for the smaller skinny looking guys. i try to keepm those feelings as a motivator, and be in controll of them other wise it's a short walk to fuck up my body or going to the shrink. P.S. IP: Logged |
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denmaur Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 181) |
posted May 29, 2000 03:12 AM
I think it's human nature to always strive to improve ourselves. Whether its in bodybuilding, basketball, boxing, track, tennis, golf, education or whatever. If we ever stop trying to improve we will become bored with ourselves and our lives. I was a skinny kid in school too. I was one of those that gained about 5 inches in height over the summer but didn't gain any weight. When I started lifting I told myself that if I gained 10 lbs I'd be happy. That was 40 lbs ago and I'm still not satisfied. Be glad you have the drive and ambition. It's better than being one of those slugs that let themselves go. IP: Logged |
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bluesy Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 243) |
posted May 29, 2000 03:31 AM
from what i hear you are saying, its not the "feeling small" syndrome youhave, its more ike low selfesteem (i have had it for a long time) it actually have nothing to do with feeling small, but its a fear about what other people thing about you, thats why you probably are still afraid that you will get looked down at, this syndrome is allmost the same as the feeling small syndrome that BB get, but you ad it before, so its probably not the same think. I dont know exactly how to get cured, but i can tell what is woorking for (im not all cured, yet) a girl i know, that im allmost in familly with, shes sweet, and when i talk to hear, she comments my looks, (i have low respect for my own look) she tells me that she like the improvenemts i have made, with the hair, my tan, my body, this is all the stuff i never heard before, i was allways the little dude that everybody picked on, and people didnt thing looked good, but now i hear it a lot, in just 6 month i think i have made huge improvements, and im starting to notice the girls looking after me with that special look in the eyes, and that probably the best thing i have ever experienced. If its really bad for you, or you dont have a friend that does this (she didnt know about my low selfesteem, but she might have noticed it) than i think some time at a shrink could be good. Bluesy IP: Logged |
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