posted May 21, 2000 12:03 AM            

I think E2 should have a special section cardio room for fat fucks.....Excerise bikes with air shocks, and black out the windows so no one else can see that gross shit!

E2 should have a rule posted..." If you ass is so big, when you sit on a bike, the cheeks of you ass looks like saddle-bags...go to the treadmill!!

If you have to roll any chick in flour just to find a wet spot...NO SPANDEX!!!

If you are uglier than a pocket full of assholes, your section is in the back....no lights, no air...suffer ya ugly fuck!!

Another rule.....If your caught running your fucking mouth about how much you bench...you will take your ass to the bench and prove it....or shut the fuck up and get out!!!

Wife beaters are strictly forbidden!!!

All cycles must be approved by management!!

If you can't lift it properly...stay the fuck away!!

If you come in with a sweating to the oldies tape...you will be shot on site!!

Dumbells to 200lbs.

The biggest make they're own rules, and are given preference on all equipment...which means...." Get your skinny ass up before I stomp you into the floor!"

This is just to name a few, I'm sure we all are willing to help ole E2 out.....heh heh heh!!!

posted May 21, 2000 12:21 AM            

If your ass looks like two pigs fighting over a pack of milk duds in a tent you must report to the back room where you'll be forced to watch every Hostess commercial ever made as you run your fat ass for miles on a treadmill.

If you grunt like a demented pig in heat with a thyroid problem you will promptly have the nearest plate stuffed up your ass......so you have something legit to scream about.

Any man who admires another man's package while laying on a bench in sweats will have his membership revoked and will be escorted out by armed security wearing latex gloves.

If you shadow box in the mirror like you're rough and tough......any member larger than yourself has the right to call you out to prove it......or you can get the fuck out.

spandex + men = revoked membership

A huge sign should be on the wall......if it jiggles, it isn't muscle!!

Just a few ideas for a better gym

posted May 21, 2000 01:38 AM            

If you and your college buddies hog the only open bench for all 30 sets of your chest workout, and give high fives afterwards...E2 reserves the right to have WCP line you all up and smack you like the three fucking stooges.

If you are overheard appointing yourself a diet guru, when you yourself are at a good 20% bodyfat, and in turn tell people any of the following:

Muscle turns to fat if not worked
Creatine will turn to fat if now worked with
Protein if your off days is not good and will cause fat
High reps and many..many sets are the only way to build good muscle

Then E2 reserves the right to have Ranger kick your fucking head in with some authentic Red Wings.

If you suffer the Jack Sprat syndrome:

You weigh 130lbs at 5'10" and your wife weighs 320lbs at 5'1"...ah fuck it..just leave....!!!!!!!

If you walk around with Invisible lat syndrome..the E2 reserves the right to have Bad Brains punch you in the ribs to bring those arms back where they should be.

If you are caught dong sissy squats (drop your ass to the floor boy) Then E2 has the right himself to walk behind you and kick you in the nuts to make sure you drop low enough....

If you come into the gym talking shit....then as Ranger says..BACK IT UP..or else...THE BROTHERHOOD...reserves the right to take you out back in the "Fuckstick training area" to kick the piss out of you until you conform...

Thanx and Have a Great Workout...heh..heh..

posted May 21, 2000 09:30 AM            

If you woof shit about how you could out lift anybody a few years back, but was in a car wreck...better show some fucking scars!

Brush your fucking teeth before you enter(a personal pet peeve of mine...heh heh heh)

Anybody who wears a towel around their pencil neck will be hung with it!!

If you smell like a goats ass....head back to the farm ya smelly fuck!!

Any skinny fuck who brings they're good looking girlfriend to the gym...expect her to be hit upon by the Iron Brothers, and know that you cannot and will not do anything about it(another personal favorite, but be advised to watch your back...heh heh heh..)

If you sit there panting and sweating between sets...expect no sympathy...if you want sympathy, look in the dictionary between shit and syphillus....at the very least you will recieve a 45lb. plate to your skull!

Fat fuckers who tell everyone they are beautiful in they're own way...stay with your own kind!

If you flap your gums about being big boned...you better be a dinosuar....humans don't have bones that big!

The weak and skinny shall clean the gym each night!

Designer clothes....heh heh heh....enter at your own risk!!!

Stay away from all of E2's skank's!!

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

posted May 21, 2000 09:58 AM         

------------------
A coward dies many deaths, but the valiant die but once.

posted May 21, 2000 03:43 PM            

when entering the locker room, immediately change and go to the gym floor. no hanging around pretending to weigh yourself and drink water. after working out, shower promptly and WRAP YOUR TOWEL AROUND YOUR WAIST. no getting water from the water fountain butt ass nekkid. no brushing your teeth bare assed. HOW ABOUT NO DAMN PUBLIC WALKING AROUND NEKKID!!! geez. amazes me.

have metal benches in the locker room so its either too cold for a bare arse to sit on or can be easily electrified if one manages to sit on it without clothing.

see the things i have to endure to go to the gym?

oh one more thing...no walls for the female locker room and put the "juice bar" in there. hehe.

posted May 21, 2000 03:55 PM            

christopher

posted May 21, 2000 05:02 PM            

It doesn't bother me if people don't like me...don't give a shit...I never came into this world to win a popularity contest!!!

Heh heh heh....It's all good!!!

posted May 21, 2000 06:27 PM         

I guess if you have no sence of humor, you will not surfive E2's gym..

posted May 21, 2000 08:06 PM            

If you are one of those "arms and chest guys" - you will get your ass in the squat rack once a week until you puke each time.

If you ARE fat, better be doing cardio. Not iron, not running your fuckin yap, just cardio.

If you don't have at least 16 inch arms....long sleeves for you.

There needs to be a BIG IRON room, where lots of squatting, deadlifting and other power moves go on. But not just any jackass can come in. There's a bench and a scale at the door and to gain entry, you gotta bench your own weight at a minimum 10 times.

Matt

PS Ranger, you have such bad taste. Why don't you go post soemwhere else?

hahahahahahahaha

posted May 21, 2000 08:44 PM            

Any one with their hair still parted in the middle the same way they had it in 1985 Just
dont even bother showing up

Anyone caught or seen smoking a cigarette
in their car or outside the front door(you know who you are)before they come in to work out will be
forced to run on the treadmill at a steep incline for 30minutes straight then they will
be kicked the fuck out!

Anyone who asks if we have tae-bo classes
will be forced to get in the ring with me or
Moe dank & get some first hand experience.

Anyone who asks where the jacuzzi is will be
thrown in the coldest shower possible for
30 minutes.

You must have atleast 16" arms(muscle not fat)in order
to where a tank top or roll your sleeves up.
That means you chestyII.

No women who are in their 30s to 40s with big hair & tons of make up that think they look good.You know who you are.

Out of curtesy to the other members no B.O.
& you must brush your teeth before coming-
no tuna or egg white breath please.

If you are caught reading a magazine in between sets you will be forced to get
a membership at Bally's health & fitness.

any group caught standing around talking
about work, buisiness or what stocks are up &
down will also be forced to go to Ballys.

Anyone who carries a cell phone on them while
they are lifting,DO I EVEN HAVE TO SAY GET THE FUCK OUT!

If you stand right in front of me or anyone else while im
doing a set in front of the mirror you wont be kicked out but will be fucked up!

Fat people will be aloud but they must lose
atleast 15 pounds a month until they are at
the right bodyweight for their size.

This gym will be open 24 hours a day everyday
so no one will have an excuse for not lifting.

We will have the finest stereo & soundsystem money can buy, with a DJ playing only lifting music DMX,Pantera,Limp etc.no top 40 shit!

There will be a kitchen in the back with blenders & so forth for pre & post workout
loading.

In front of the bikes & treadmills the TVs
will be playing nothing but pumping iron & other Arnold flicks.

We will have every piece of hammer strength
equiptment there is.The rest will be all
free weights.No cybex shit!

There will be a sauna for cutting weight but
no free balling allowed.

Everyone will have their own safety deposit
box for their gear.

There will be the hottest possible woman I
can get giving out massages & extras in the back,this privalage will be for board members only.

These are just some of the things we will
have,when E2 hires me as the general
manager.Or when I open up my own gym,right now I guess Im just dreaming.

[This message has been edited by scott825 (edited May 21, 2000).]

posted May 21, 2000 08:54 PM            

E2 hire this bitch right away, and I'll move to Canada!!!!