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 MILLGIRL
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| Author | Topic: MILLGIRL |
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millgirl Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 31) |
posted May 16, 2000 10:19 PM
   I went to the doctor today , its actually a county ran facility, but they run a ton of test which would be very expensive else where. As you may know I have admitted to you my HIV status as being positive, in hopes that I could learn more about AS's and how I might benefit from them. I have the results back from my test. My viral load is 4284, they say this is good, but see the numbers keeps jumping up everytime I go and give blood. Im a little upset and feel kinda down in the dumps about this. Its hard thing to have to face. My T Cells are 578, they were 761 in Nov. 99. My viral load in Nov. 99 was 2188. I did what a lot of you asked me to and knew the results were going to be not so great, but I asked my doctor about steroids and she was absolutely against the idea. Our visit did not go so great. I asked her why would she wait til someone would waste away, and then maybe recommend putting them on it. She could give me no valid reason, she was a bit rude on the subject, I may have insulted her job, and she ceratinly showed a lack of knowledge even on the tiniest part of steroids. Anyways, I left there. I said, screw it, they obviously have one thing on thier agenda, and that is to pass out triple cocktails, that may induce AIDS. That is why Im not on the drugs they give out so readily. I had a lifestyle not so great prior to training hard, dieting properly and exercising, and Im trying to make up for it now. I feel as if the steroids will enhance my quality of life if used properly, and cycled out over the year. I want to live, I have talked to a guy who has HIV and he post, we talk by ICQ, he hsa been quite inspirational . He is now undetected in his viral load, infact he says the virus cannot even be found anywhere in his body. He has been on AS's for many years, and contributes his remission to the use of AS's. I really could use some words of encouragement, everything really has me down. It seems no matter how hard I fight, and try to better myself and my situation Im either too late, or too short. Its a constant fight. I have tears sweeled up in my eyes, as I type this to you, and ask for your support and friendship . Im scared, Im a 30 year old, young girl, who made some terrible mistakes which Im paying for ! There is no cure and the doctors wont help, they just wait, like for you to die or get sick so they can give you their stupid drugs. People have said that AS's would/could supress my immune system, I dont feel supressed. I feel alive. Im scared no doubt at the moment as I venture of into the unknown. I hear that AS's incerase red blood cells...are there any webites verifying more data on what exactly AS's do to the bone marrow and blood supply? Im looking deep for answers. I have meet one person who claims that AS's put life back into his bones, he claims to have been dying on a hospital bed, when a griend came to him and offered AS's, and that is when he made his recovery over time. Im not sick, I dont look sick, and Im full of life, Im SO afraid of that being taken away. Ive only known one way in all my life. I have never even been to the hospital for illnesses or broken bones. Please share some knowledge on the medical side of what AS's can do in my situation. MILLGIRL IP: Logged |
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T-BONE Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 56) |
posted May 16, 2000 10:27 PM
There's really no advice I can give you other than to find a new doctor, and to keep your head up. Don't ever let it get you down. Everyone has done things they regret. Don't ever let those things make you feel like a bad person, use them for a reason to better yourself. Best of luck to you, and I hope you get the answers you're looking for. IP: Logged |
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Formula Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 123) |
posted May 16, 2000 10:30 PM
I had a relative in the same situation. I could just advice to seek Michael Mooney "Steroid for Health" maybe some else could provide a website. He's kind of the Juice guru for people with HIV. He might provide doctors who would be willing to help you. Good Luck IP: Logged |
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moe dank Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 439) |
posted May 16, 2000 11:33 PM
I dont really know what to say, but felt i had to say something. F the doctors and there cocktail of shit. You are the first person in my life to come down with this illness and I just think you should do whats best for you. I realize you are just some letters on a computer screen to some, but this really hits home. Goodluck and you always have someone here to talk to. IP: Logged |
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Rich1 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 276) |
posted May 16, 2000 11:37 PM
Millgirl, you really touched my heart with this post girl, I have an older brother who has HIV now for over 15 years, but he's hanging in there. My heart goes out to you and your family, this is a terrible illness, but new findings are being made all the time, your only thirty and you CAN make a differance NOW. Follow Formula's advise and find Mike Mooney, try a search under anabolics and HIV, I'm sure you will find his site and get some help in locating a Dr who knows his/her stuff about this kind of treatment for HIV, God bless, I know it's scarey as hell believe me. But he never gives us more then we can handle, I know I have done many stupid things in my life, but thankfully I'm in good health, so many of my friends are dead from drunk driveing it's horrendous to think of how many over the years.. Take care of your self, people here do care, try out the HIV board here at elite, it's a good place to start... IP: Logged |
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delts Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 85) |
posted May 16, 2000 11:47 PM
You sound like a sweetheart.....I would see another doctor and try to keep a positive attitude lady. If you ever need a friend to talk to email me. delts ------------------ IP: Logged |
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MattTheSkywalker Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 808) |
posted May 16, 2000 11:47 PM
MillGirl Your dedication to keeping yourself going and attitude positive is an inspiration to me. This may sound obvious, but get another doctor. There are people who are prescribed growth hormone for HIV and it helps. If your doc is not informed as to other avenues of treatment, get a new doc. Lastly, keep keeping your head up. Matt IP: Logged |
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buck o five Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 186) |
posted May 16, 2000 11:52 PM
 Hey there millgirl how are ya - cheer up girl, life is what you make it, whether it be short or long. My uncle is HIV positive so I know what you are going through from him and his experiences. He is gay and his past 2 boyfriends have died from this. He has had for 15 years and sometimes he does get sick but he recovers and is always with us on holidays and when someone in the family needs him. If you would like to ICQ me please feel free to and we can talk about AS. I have done some research on it myself because my mother has Multiple Schlerosis and they say that AS helps in it also. IP: Logged |
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E2 Moderator (Total posts: 3034) |
posted May 16, 2000 11:56 PM
  Millgirl this must be very hard, I would try and get either growth hormone or deca. Start out with those. IP: Logged |
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lexicon Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 155) |
posted May 16, 2000 11:59 PM
Millgirl, I think your doing a tremendous job researching a very tough subject. I don't know what your doc wants you to use but I have also heard a lot of great stuff about the cocktails. I don't know specifics but do believe that not using them is not in your best interest. Also, you definately will b much better off if you are happy with and trust your doctor. I don't think you should blindly follow anyone but the odds are your not going to find a doctor that agrees with everything you do, maybe one more open minded would be much better for you. Where are all of the people who are having success going? You and your doctor are going to be spending a lot of time together and you need to find someone you trust.... IP: Logged |
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blackhaus1 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 337) |
posted May 17, 2000 01:31 AM
Mill, I already told you how much I admire your strength...if you need a female to chat with e-me anytime... IP: Logged |
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2INTENSE Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 59) |
posted May 17, 2000 02:13 AM
Just one piece of advise --don`t listen to most doctors when it comes to ANABLOIC steroids -- they know a lot about the opposite ones -- catabolic steroids like cortisone and shit like that. They are VERY ignorant when it comes to anabolics. Ask A Pro bodybuilder named Dennis Newman -he almost died from a disease that wastes you away called leukemia. Yes he did probably excellerate it by taking growth hormone (he would have gotten it anyway --it was genetic). The doctors did conclude that his life was saved due to the fact he had so much lean,muscle tissue(just plain flesh). They said obviously he would NEVER have had that if it were not for anabolic steroids --which he still takes and is on the cover of some current muscle mags. So its illogical that ANABOLIC steriods will not help aids patients -- they DO!!! You as a woman would have to be careful and take just the ones that are high on the anabolic index. Like: Anavar, Primobolin,Winstrol and there are others --you would not have to take very much at all --extremely LOW dosages. Growth hormone is great too -- if you do not have any genetic diseases that can be accelerated by it -- but who cares at this point, I think the Aids has to be addressed before any of that -- see another doctor, but have a little question and answer session first, if he or she seems ignorant then i`m sure my advice and the boards advise will help you better than any dumb-ass doctor, besides most treat the disease after its about to kill ya instead of PREVENTION!! (Thats how they make their money). I`ll tell ya what, maybe I and the board will pitch in a little money each to a reliable dealer to help you along if you feel you need it. I`m sure the board can come up with a really good cycle to keep you alive (believe me I know we can) So keep living every damn minute you can, cause you know you have friends here!!! IP: Logged |
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Popeye Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 25) |
posted May 17, 2000 02:29 AM
I would definitely see another Doctor....Alot of doctors, as well as alot of people are ignorant when it comes to anabolic steroids.....some doctors are against them due to lack of knowledge and they have biased opinions....in your situation I think taking anabolic steroids under medical supervision will be benificial to you....just make sure you are well supervised. Good luck and e-mail me if you have any questions. IP: Logged |
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2INTENSE Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 59) |
posted May 17, 2000 02:39 AM
The last advise was good --take them under medical supervision if possible, but if you can`t --take them anyway!! W`ell help ya!! IP: Logged |
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2INTENSE Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 59) |
posted May 17, 2000 03:29 AM
bump -- in honor of brave people IP: Logged |
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The Ranger Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 912) |
posted May 17, 2000 04:01 AM
A trait I admire the most.......COURAGE.....so few have it.......Millgirl, you are an inspiration.....hang in there!!! It's all good Sister!!! Ranger IP: Logged |
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MrMuscle Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 135) |
posted May 17, 2000 04:21 AM
Aw man..Reading your post brought tears to my eyes and stung my chest. Life just aint fair. You should be very proud of yourself, ive seen people buckle under for a lot les than what u are going thru. I wish u all the best, and remember your brother and sisters are always here for you. ------------------ http://home.sol.no/~mrmuscle/ IP: Logged |
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bstrong Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 193) |
posted May 17, 2000 05:26 AM
i've open your post and just wanted to chear u up, but since i think of myself as big dude with problems with expresing myself, i can only ofer u to send me your doc add, mybe i can give her an ofer she cant refuse ;-) IP: Logged |
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Jeff_rys Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 100) |
posted May 17, 2000 05:51 AM
You should follow E2 advice. There are roids given to HIV patients to strenghten their immunity, so you definitly need a good doctor. You have all the support of us, that's for sure. Jeff IP: Logged |
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Dutch Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 204) |
posted May 17, 2000 05:55 AM
Wtf can is say? BIG KISS! Dutch IP: Logged |
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Texas Guns Moderator (Total posts: 402) |
posted May 17, 2000 10:03 AM
The best advice is to find a new doctor. The medical field has been so "steroid paranoid" since the beginning. The 2000 edition of the Physicians' Desk Reference even states "Anabolic Steriods have not been shown to enhabce athletic ability." Apparently they have not been hanging out in my gym. Indeed, to appreciate just how long it has taken for the sientific community to acknowledge the effects fo steroids, consider this: in the summer of 1996, the New England Journal of Medicine published an elegant and carefully controlled study, in which a group of top-level scientists demonstratd that an anabolic steroid, testosterone enanthate, was effective in causing gains in muscle mass. To the medical community, this was news! a fact known to kids in the gym for the last twenty years was still considered sufficiently unproven by doctors that in 1996 it was featured as the lead article in the most prestigious medical journal in the world! If any of you know a good doctor to refer Millgirl to in the Houston area, please don't hold back. Heads up and keep looking up!! We are here if you need us!! Mrs. Guns IP: Logged |
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ralphe Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 23) |
posted May 17, 2000 10:22 AM
I wish I could reach out and help you. I have a "very" limited knowledge of AS and about the same for treatment of AIDS\HIV. I am sure there is someone on here that can help you or point you in the right direction. I am the type of person that will always be here for you, and would give you a kidney if it would help. I am pretty corny but all I want to say is I care even if I don't know you and will be here if you need someone to talk to or just to listen to you ......my prayers are with you and may god bless and take care of you ......your friend even if you don't know me..... big hug for ya" IP: Logged |
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demaroid Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 258) |
posted May 17, 2000 11:17 AM
I think all have offered useful advice so I will just tell ya we love you girl and you will be in my prayers. Keep your chin up and know you can get through this we are all supporting you! like others said zip me an e-mail if you would like a listening ear!!! [email protected] IP: Logged |
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Flex Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 118) |
posted May 17, 2000 01:41 PM
Your in my prayers Milgirl... IP: Logged |
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Thick dog Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 160) |
posted May 17, 2000 01:50 PM
I think the reason many of the guys were questioning whether or not you were actually a women on a post earlier in the week is because obviously you are a hell of a lot stronger than any of us will ever be. Good luck. IP: Logged |
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TxCollegeguy Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 292) |
posted May 17, 2000 02:11 PM
Hey Girl....Stay strong...the board is here for you...I hope your search for a better doctor improves...I'm here in the houston area and if you ever need anyone to talk to about anything just look me up.... IP: Logged |
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ryry Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 115) |
posted May 17, 2000 03:26 PM
In the words of the late Jimmy Valvano..."Don't give up. Don't ever give up." Life is the most precious gift that we can all have, cherish every moment of it. If you live your life to the fullest then you will have no regrets and you will be happy. IP: Logged |
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millgirl Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 31) |
posted May 17, 2000 06:10 PM
Just a big thank you to the following: Mrs. Guns,JoeJoe,me me"scott",msg,warrior poet,David Svancara,RedE2Grow,Del Anderson, Tim Evansen,Bryan Theirfelder,Steris Blackhaus1,DrdBol, deadlifter, Flex, BBCMichigan,FitnessChick,GForce, ChuChu, LDogg, BiffBoom,DocHoliday, BigJay, Buck05, TxCollegeGuy, RyRy, Delts, Rich1, MoeDank,Chevin, Formula, TBone, Checkmate, E2, Lexicon, Popeye, Dutch, JeffRys, BStrong, MrMuscle, The Ranger, 2Intense, MattTheSkyWalker, Ralphe, Demaroid, ThickDog, SSman.MuscCookie, SkullCrusher,2EZ2BRICH,cood dog, ballyboy, monke,and last but not least Christian! and anyone else I may have left off the list. (sorry, there are so many...) Thank you for all your wonderful post and emails, you have been a great network of support, far greater than any I have ever known in the past. I have received some of the nicest emails, and had the oppurtunity to bridge many freindships. I am truly gateful to meeting each and everyone of you, even if its on a computer screen. Thank you for accepting me, and teaching me a few things about your world, which has brightened my future. Im just starting out , with cycles and AS's and have lots to learn. I will do my research thoroughly and if I have any qusetions I know where to come... God bless you all! Well off to the gym, see ya on tonight! [This message has been edited by millgirl (edited May 17, 2000).] [This message has been edited by millgirl (edited May 17, 2000).] IP: Logged |
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bstrong Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 193) |
posted May 17, 2000 06:15 PM
well, if u're after workout by now u must feel bettr. IP: Logged |
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FitnessChick Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 276) |
posted May 17, 2000 06:17 PM
wow...i am so sorry to hear all this...it must be a really mentally taxing situation to be in...stay strong....mentally its your best defense...a word of advice also...keep searching until you find a dr. who you are comfortable with....that should be a # 1 priority....no dr. should ever be rude - you need one that is openminded to your questions & suggestions...I wish you all the best... IP: Logged |
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christian918 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 250) |
posted May 17, 2000 06:23 PM
My hats off to you girl. Stay strong, in this fight, depression is your worst enemy. All the boys and girls are right with advice, somewhere there is someone in the medical field who will be willing to help. There are plenty of shoulders here to lean on(big ones too) if you ever need. You can include mine in there as well. God Bless, Christian IP: Logged |
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