to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess

I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,"

Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the

drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample

and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to

do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten

dollars... a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and

takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and

the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.

He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You

have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and

avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new

technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer

could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool

sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and

daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good

measure.

Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the

results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his

concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints

the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal

shampoo.

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into

rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't

yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

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My instinct was to win, eliminate anyone who is in competion, destroy my enemy and move on without any kind of hesitation at all.
-Schwarzenegger