posted April 18, 2000 08:03 AM            

TOP FIFTEEN THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A COP WHO HAS PULLED YOU OVER

15.) My license is right here under this $50

14.) That uniform is holding out pretty well under the pressure

13.) Sure, you got my permission to search the vehicle

12.) Can you hold my beer while I get my license.

11.) Shouldn't you be parked somewhere talkin to 3 cars of other cops?

10.) Winchell's is down the block, man

9.) I always lite up incense when I'm pulled over.

8.) Wow you must've been doing at least 115mph to catch me!

7.) Hey Andy, tell Aunt Bee she sucks a mean one

6.) Shit, I thought you had to be in good shape to be a cop.

5.) You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

4.) Thanks, bro! The officer yesterday only gave me a warning, too!

3.) Drinking? My eyes look red? Well YOUR eyes look glazed. You been eating doughnuts?

2.) Can you ask Ronnie Coleman what shit he's on, my next cycle is coming up.

AND THE NUMBER THING NOT TO SAY TO A COP WHO PULLED YOU OVER:

Aren't you that gay guy from the Village People?

spoon

posted April 20, 2000 08:07 AM            

#13 was not a joke. NEVER, EVER EVER NEVER give permission to search. Be a hard ass if you got to and let them get a warrant but never give permission. Usually if they are asking for permission then they don't have PC to check without it.

Anymore of this advice and pretty soon I'll have to start charging

ahhahahhah