Seems like the competition is playahatin.....

Subject: MESSAGE FROM R*** C**: STRANGE HAPPENINGS

*** Would'a posted this same time I posted it up on a number of other boards had it not been for me, good cat that I am, waiting on certain approval longer than expected, mentioning no names of course ;^> ***

OK firstly, for the few of you out there that have heard of RC ;^> and have perhaps been wondering where the Cat's been at over the past few months, in short he's been taking care of business.

What with answering numerous e-mails each and every day, filling orders, making time for the wife and kid, and 5 minutes sleep for every 24 hours given, finding a way to post regularly on 20 different message boards where I'm supposed to be an active member was becoming a bit too much. So, in order to preserve my sanity I decided to prioritize and cut back on my board time before total burnout took place making me of no use to anyone.

What brought me back to the boards today? Well, it was brought to my attention that threads had been posted relaying news of Paper Anabolics having been seized � and here I am.

On March 11, 2001 a customer sent us a copy of a Customs Seizure Notice stating, "Merchandise Seized: approx. 11 grams of steroids."

This was in place of an envelope containing 200 x 10mg squares of PaperBol.

While we were not na�ve enough to believe this wouldn't eventually happen, frankly we were somewhat surprised as we didn't think that they'd issue one (if they were indeed lucky enough to snag an envelope) until they had gone to the lengths and expense of making a test to find out what the active ingredient was. Naturally they have chemical tests for the hard stuff, but surely nothing at this stage for Methandienone, Oxymetholone, or Stanazol. This being the case, we thought, what the hell could they say that they've seized - a piece of paper/card?

Fact remains though that this is ONE actual seizure out of near on 1,000 envelopes of Paper sent, which equates to 0.01% and that ain't too bad, I'm sure most would agree ;^>

Saying that, we are far from resting on our laurels and, as always, are looking into ways to make the receiving of Paper Anabolics a safer bet. The one comment we've duly noted that has come up a number of times is that perhaps it would be better to not have a grid printed on the Paper itself. This is certainly something that is easy to change and something we're happy to do.

Now then, onto another point, a number of strange happenings have occurred in the past couple of months any one of which, on it's own, may merit a little more credibility than what the sum total offers. As it stands it would appear that a certain source or parties are out to cause unnecessary concern.

1. A handful of guys attempted to wire funds our way with through Western Union's Internet service and were contacted back by WU saying that they would not complete the transaction to the specified receiver. On one occasion the sender asked the WU representative the reason for this and they were told that WU had information that the intended recipient was operating some sort of scam and, therefore, WU was looking to protect the innocent!

2. Yesterday we received an e-mail from a guy, who only previously asked for a list, saying, "i hope you get busted ... and get thrown in jail while some big buck fucks u in the ass thanks for you time." Our reply was, "Either A. You have us confused with someone else, or B. You have been contacting us from an alternative e-mail address and that is why we have no idea what this is all about. Whatever the case we'd sure appreciate you taking the time to explain. Sincerely, RC"

3. Now this morning I open the mailbox and find this message waiting:

From: INS-1001/NSD Sir or Madam,

It has come to our attention of our network security division that you are incorperating the use of your web host to sell, promote, and distribute contraband and controlled substances into the greater United States.

This is the first of only one warning you will recieve. Clearing agents and United States Customs officials have been notified of this situation.

Your ISP has been notified of this situation as well and you are presently being monitored. If these practices of explicit illegal importing of substances that are therefore unable to be purchased in the United States without a prescription by a liscened professional continue, we shall be forced to take more drastic measures involving the WTC, NSA, and local Govermental authorities within your country.

Please understand and consider this carefully. Incarceration will follow if these practices continue. Expedition to the United States will and must come into this theory when dealing of these matters.

We have installed a networking redirect of any activity done either by your ISP, mail server, and the using telephone connection. Please allow yourself now to inform all who has any participation with this activity to cease immediatly. We have used your mail server host to send this directly to you from your own password protected mail. You are being traced of all activity as of 1:20 PM EST from controls in the United States. Do not attempt to change ISP's or to move and regain this current activity elsewhere.

Though it may indeed be legal in your present country to import and export these items to your present or to other countries. It is known that this activity is not tolerated in the United States. This is monitored directly from the United States. Any contact or further address gathering from any individual who is presently in the United States of America regarding their stay or current residency in another country will induce our officials to begin the canceling of your practices.

Please do not try to trace this message for it has been sent to you from inside your personal ISP providers servers. You will notice your email as the sender. Please understand our governing laws and abide by them.

We have been informed of a seizure of products promoted of you or by personell within your organization. You are currently under investigation and all packaging from within your operations area will be scrutinized. This again is the first and only warning. Do not take this lightly or proceed to move operations elsewhere.

Posted INS-1001/NSD

OK, as I can feel a second-wind coming on, those of you on short lunch-breaks may be wise to come back to this later, those that don't appreciate my sense of humor may be better off reading some other thread, and those of you who are used to my ramblings and have nothing better to do, thanking you in advance for your time and attention � LOL ;^>

As it happens, I hold a healthy respect for the professionals working in certain government agencies as surely they are trying to do their job as well as we try to do ours. And while I would not attempt to make a mockery of their Modus Operandi I feel no need to hold back with would-be impersonators, as I suspect the author of the above message to be.

In light of the fact that INS-1001/NSD did not leave me a way to respond direct I will not allow this "oversight" to effect my sense of courtesy and therefore I shall leave my response here on the off chance that INS-1001/NSD finds the time in his/her busy day to monitor the boards as well.

Dear INS-1001/NSD,

Thank you for taking the time to express your "first of only one warning" which you felt important enough to issue twice in your message.

Not wanting to show too much ignorance on my part, but to tell you the truth I didn't quiet understand you opening gambit in the subject header which read, "Matter of importance-Please advise."

When you say, "Please advise" who is it exactly that you wish to advise who?

Furthermore, I fail to comprehend the reason for you not actually stating who you are, which agency you're representing and which department you're working in.

By saying, "It has come to our attention of our network security division that you are incorperating the use of your web host to sell, promote, and distribute � " one may deduce that you are not working for Yahoo.

By saying, "Clearing agents and United States Customs officials have been notified of this situation." I can only assume that you are neither a "Clearing agent" nor are you a United States Customs official and therefore are working independently of these two agencies.

Likewise, when you say, " � we shall be forced to take more drastic measures involving the WTC, NSA, and local Govermental authorities within your country." A wild guess tells me you're not employed by any of these either.

Perhaps you can appreciate my confusion here and even though you made it quiet clear that your message was a one-off, I'd really appreciate you letting me know whom in fact you are working for.

On the subject of appreciation, I must say that despite the serious tone of you message I haven't overlooked your politeness when you say things like, "Please understand and consider this carefully" and "Please allow yourself now to inform all � " and "Please do not try to trace this message � " and "Please understand our governing laws and abide by them."

When you say, "We have used your mail server host to send this directly to you from your own password protected mail." I hope you didn't have to go to any lengths or agency expense on this one, as it's really quiet a simple procedure. Next time, go to Options with your own server and replace your name and address in the appropriate boxes with my name and address, that's all there is to it; no need to hack away at passwords etc. ;^>

You say, "Please do not try to trace this message for it has been sent to you from inside your personal ISP providers servers." � Again, I don't understand why you're being so shy.

And lastly your comment: "We have been informed of a seizure of products promoted of you or by personell within your organization." You mean that either someone from Customs contacted you about one particular seizure that they have reason to believe was sent by me or my personnel, or that someone made mention of this to you from something they'd read on the boards?

Now, if what you claim to be is true, albeit somewhat unclear, we are operating on different sides of the fence. All the same, on the off chance that you do wish to work with me here, allow me to point out a couple of ways in which we are perhaps alike and it that way may be able to come to some sort of compromise. 1. Our grammar and sentence structure may not be to the liking of high school English teachers, and 2. Apparently we both can make the time to write up a storm ;^>

One difference in our writing styles, and I hope you don't mind me pointing it out, and if you do please feel free to write and let me know, is that I like to take that additional moment at the end of each message to hit that wonderful Spell-Check feature on the tool bar above. I know, I'm sure you have hundreds of these to get out in a day and time is of the essence, but if this is the case you might want to standardize your message and use Spell-Check just the one time.

Here are some of the corrections it would have come up with:

incorperating should be � incorporating recieve should be � receive liscened should be - licensed Govermental should be - governmental immediatly should be - immediately personell should be - personnel

One final point: you mentioned that, "Expedition to the United States will and must come into this theory when dealing of these matters." Not trying to be funny, but while I've always thought an "expedition" to the US might be interesting, the idea of "extradition" is certainly less appealing. Which did you have in mind?

Thank you once again for your time and interest.

Cordially yours,

R*** C**