So there I am, 1AM, driving home from this girls house, whom I didn't get any from, thank you very much, and this suburb cop is ALL OVER MY ASS! Now mind you, it's kinda nice out here right now, not to cold, no rain salt or snow, and I love to impress women, so I took my 71 vette' out tonight. It has some custom fiberglass work (widened quarters to fit the 315's, custom molded fiberglass rear wing starting from where the curve of the door comes up, out and back), stuff that makes the car noticable unfortunately. Anyway, so there I am, right, sweet sounds coming outta the side pipes from the big block underneath, sober as can be, this pig pulls my happy ass over. I'm thinking "Fuck! Suburb cop!"

He shines that big ass spotlight into my eyes, which always pisses me off, then strolls up to my car, cocky as well, shines his mag-lite right in my eyes (so I squint a little) and asks me "How are you doing this evening?" with this really sirly tone in his voice. Well I look at this fucker and say "One fuck load better than you, I promise you that!" Shocked and suprised the cop looks back down at me, and says "Have you been drinking tonight?" I reply with "Heavily Officer." He opens my door, and I hop outta the Vette, which is kinda a PITA. Anyway, so I know the law, and he has to give me 20 minutes before he can do a breathalizer test. So his faggy butt buddy cop pulls up behind him, because lord knows it takes at least 2 cops to pull someone over for no reason, and comes outta his car. The cops talk for a second and the original cop comes back to me. The second cop goes to the trunk of his car, I knew he was getting the PBA machine.

So the first pig says "Can you say the Alphebet (sp?) for me?" I reply with "Forwards or backwards?" He replies with a smirk on his face "Backwards." By the time I get to M he stops me. lol. Then he whips out his pen, makes me follow it with my eyes. Then his buddy is scrapping a line on the ground with some chalk. COME ON GUYS GET A LIFE, I'm thinking. So I walk down that once, skip back, hop down it again, and run backwards back down it again straight. By this piont in time, I think the pigs had enough of my smart ass, and asked me to turn around because "For thier safety, they were going to cuff me."

So the second cop get's his PBA, and makes me breath into it. I blow a 0.0 BAL% The first cop looks at me and says "Well Mr. --------, we are going to have to tow and inpound your vehicle, and you will have to spend the night down in jail." I got pissed, but didn't show it, so I replied with "WHY'S THAT?" He said, "Well you had admitted that you had been drinking heavily tonight and..." I stopped him and said "So, why is that illegal?" Puzzled he looks at me and says "Excuse me?" I looked at his faggot partner and said "Excuse me sir, could you go look on the passanger side floorboard of my car?" Cops look at each other a little confused, and he goes over to my car, opens the door, shines his flashnight inside, and shakes his head. I give the first cop a BIG ASS SMIRK!

The second cop now comes back to me, un-cuffs me, takes my plate away from the first cop, ahnds it back to me - looks to the first cop and says "Mr. --------, has four empty 2 liter bottles of Pepsi in his vehicle."

Nice Vette!!!!!!

you should have told that puts, back the f@ck up, im a MeanOne

i hate leg day by the way

(Un marked cars can not write you tickets here, but boy was he pissed off when he came racing up to my car, ask me what was in the bag, I told him he couldn't ask that - which he can't, lol. So I whipped my bottle of apple juice out in front of him and started chugging it, oh damn, I thought he was gunna jump throw my window and kill me, lol)