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 My life just hit the shitter. (off topic)
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| Author | Topic: My life just hit the shitter. (off topic) |
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Big Brother Val Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 388) |
posted March 21, 2000 12:20 PM
  
I know we aren't really supposed to stray from the topic here, guys.... so I'll make it short and sweet.... I was engaged to a gal, who we just found out is pregnant. For those of you who don't already know.. I got divorced from my X because of other males' interference in our relationship, if you know what I mean. With my x, I have 2 beautiful children. My fiance just freaked out 3 days ago. She thinks I'm still sleeping with my x for some dumb reason. And I'll tell you guys flat out that I'm not. So anyway... she freaks out, and goes over to my x's house, and tells her that we were having an affair while me and my x where still married. (what the fuck??) So my x freaks out. They go on a rampage, and plan on moving in together if you can believe it. Then... my fiance starts making calls to all of my family and friends telling them I'm a piece of shit, I had an affair, and... of course... that I'm on gear. Soooooooo..... everyone is really freakin' out. My x won't let me see my children, and I can't afford to take her to court over it. And my fiance is saying that I will have nothing to do with the baby on the way. And my fiance said she called the police and told them where I keep my gear. So naturally I moved it. But now... everyone is freakin' out. She also said she was gonna try and get me fired from my job, as she works with me... by telling them that I'm on gear and so on. Sorry to rant, guys... my diet has been around 1000 calories the past few days, because I can't fuckin' eat. So I feel like shit. I don't know what's happening. But my chums all think I'm a prick... and my brother... that's right... my own fuckin' brother is talkin' to my fiance telling her that I'm a basic piece of shit. What if they end up fuckin' or something?!?!? I'm in the shitter, guys. Sorry to rant. There's no one else I have to talk to right now. So I thought I'd throw it on here. [This message has been edited by Big Brother Val (edited March 21, 2000).] IP: Logged |
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LittleSavage34 Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 59) |
posted March 21, 2000 12:31 PM
Val, that's a really shitty situation. First of all, let's talk about the legal stuff. You have grounds to sue both of those women right now. "What?" you say? Talk with a lawyer and explain what is going on, and you would have grounds of defamation of character, slander, mental anguish, trust me. My dad went through a similar situation a few years ago, and he took my mom to the fucking cleaner.  For moral support buddy, when I broke up with my ex, weights are all I had. They are whated I turned to for release, but it will take a while to get out of the dumps. Buddy, we've all had shitty relationships, and I know I speak for the board when I say we're all here for you. ICQ or Email me if you want to talk. Take care of yourself buddy. You're the most important person in your life right now. Take care of you.------------------ IP: Logged |
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Mr. Nobody Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 100) |
posted March 21, 2000 12:32 PM
Move out!!!! Start over, and forget them both. As far as your children: Spend as much time with them as you can, but don't piss off their mother IP: Logged |
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oversized Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 113) |
posted March 21, 2000 12:34 PM
man that is so friggin shitty i feel ya bro. what is up with chicks now a days they freak out so easy and when they do its like they have to let the whole world know. And the worst thing is when chicks assume shit. My question is why did she even think for a minute that you were sleeping with your X againg? All i can say is good luck and if it is worth it to ya back track a little look for where you may have screwed up and gave her the idea that you were sleeping with you X and try to repair the damage. That or think of one great bullshit story to make her happy and to win her heart back. Sorry to hear your down bro hope things get better. IP: Logged |
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studcj Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 364) |
posted March 21, 2000 12:35 PM
I know it sounds stupid. But from my prospective, if your fiance turns on you that quick, then it probably wouldn't have been that great of a marriage anyway. Take legal action. Go to one of the laywers who say "I don't get paid till you get paid" ------------------ IP: Logged |
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The Ranger Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 512) |
posted March 21, 2000 12:37 PM
I'm with Little Savage....Everybody here will help ya out Bro! Truth be known, alot of us have been in like situations......It sucks, life throw's these fuck'in curve balls from time to time....Hang in there Bro!!! Ranger IP: Logged |
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cjac1 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 181) |
posted March 21, 2000 12:39 PM
I feel for ya. But, if your girls is that wacked maybe you should, consider starting all over and only deal with your kids. As for family they will come around. Good luck IP: Logged |
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chestyII Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 401) |
posted March 21, 2000 12:53 PM
Fuck 'em. That is about as low as they can get. I would go to your boss before she does and let them know what is going on before she starts it at work. I would explain to the fiancee that if she ain't gonna let you be a part of the baby's life she ain't gettin a red dime from ya. I can't believe someone could stoop so low. As Cjac1 says move on they ain't worth it. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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studcj Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 364) |
posted March 21, 2000 12:57 PM
Another note: Don't forget about your kids. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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rocky Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 52) |
posted March 21, 2000 01:12 PM
Val, this sounds really f**ked up. First of all, why would she just freak out on you if what she thinks (you cheating) is unfounded. Do u think your ex told her that you were sleeping together, for whatever reason? And wouldn't your fiance be pissed of with her instead of wanting to move in together? WTF?!?!?! I think there's something going on that we don't know about, because her behaviour sounds totally irrational. If what you say is true, and she's just flipped her f**kin lid, then I would really think about just breaking off any relationship you have with her. It sounds like maybe you guys already had some problems and she's trying to find an excuse to get out. IP: Logged |
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Big Brother Val Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 388) |
posted March 21, 2000 01:24 PM
The fiance and me work different shifts. She works nights, and goes to school in the days... and I work days, and train and wrestle in the evenings. So we don't have a lot of time together. And sometimes my x would come and watch me wrestle, and bring my daughter, because she loves to watch it. So my fiance got pissed about that... so I told my x not to go anymore. As far as them moving in together, you guys are right. You'd figure they'd hate eachother. But they went to look at an apartment last night together. I may be an aggressive asshole... but I'm not that big of one. Not to cheat on a gal I figured I'd be with for a very long time. She's absolutely beautiful. But I don't know where it's all coming from. I keep thinking she has a guilty conscious, and is blaming me for something she did. But I can't assume she saw someone else. That isn't fair. I have no reason to think it. Thanks for your support, guys. She'll be into work in about an hour. It'll be interesting to see what happens. IP: Logged |
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OKIE Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 127) |
posted March 21, 2000 01:37 PM
Sorry for the shitty situation bro. The best advice I can think to give is to always think of your kids. Right now it sounds like they're the only ones not against you. Women come and go, but your kids are something that will always be yours. Good luck. We are all here for ya! ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Ronnie Wheelmier Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 11) |
posted March 21, 2000 01:40 PM
Hi bro, know how u feel. It might sound hard but, GET A LAWYER NOW! MAN allways have to be ready to start again from scratch. Good luck. IP: Logged |
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jettstream Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 60) |
posted March 21, 2000 02:04 PM
Man i feel for you, don't ever be ashamed to come to your bro's for support. I agree with getting A LAWYER NOW. defformation of character is not just "talking shit" Take legal action NOW. so you can RELAX later. I just broke up with the love of my life and it was the hardest thing that ever happened to me. take care man. jeTT IP: Logged |
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E2 Moderator (Total posts: 1580) |
posted March 21, 2000 02:11 PM
Damn, i'm really sorry bro. I would put it all behind me and move. Get out of the city or even the state, just go somewhere and start all over, it can be one of the best things you've ever done, but that's very hard to do seeing as you have kids. I feel for you IP: Logged |
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egoman Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 198) |
posted March 21, 2000 02:11 PM
man get your ass to the gym.forget about both of them.just see your kids as often as possible.ignore them both,start over there are more of them than us ,more fish in the sea,and so on and so on. IP: Logged |
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WCP Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 420) |
posted March 21, 2000 02:16 PM
ah...females....geesh... I agree with the legal action man..and the priority of the children.. Grab a lawyer..keep watch over the kids..and go for the jugular... It sounds to me like both of the women may have had some previous problems...not concerning you that have caused them to play out this way...but then again they are female..so who the hell knows?? Keep Your Head Up Bro, IP: Logged |
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greenhouse Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 86) |
posted March 21, 2000 02:16 PM
I think that really is a horrible situation. The defamation of charecter, slander(whoops I just remembered someone else already wrote this) but anyway I have been through alot considering my age, I have been engaged twice. I caught the first one cheating on me and the second left me because of some recreational use of stuff, which I am over now. But anyway my ICQ is up there, fell free to chat or E-Mail anytime.Good Luck and keep your chin up it only can go up for ya, I hope. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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beerbarbq Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 176) |
posted March 21, 2000 02:54 PM
On the calorie thing, if your not getting enough to eat because you dont have an appetite from everything thats happened get a cheap weight gainer, even if your not really hungry drink a few of those throught the day to at least keep your weight and strength from falling until you start feeling better mentally, been there and it sucks shit so take care of yourself as much as possible and try to be as constructive as possible. IP: Logged |
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androx Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 207) |
posted March 21, 2000 03:05 PM
BBV I'm really sorry to hear that. If I were you I would get rid of her anyway if she is that untrusting and would do that shit to you. I'm sorry this shit is happening to you. androx IP: Logged |
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Busy_Mind Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 37) |
posted March 21, 2000 03:07 PM
Val man, Have you thought of all the possibilities here? I feel for you bro with the rest of these guys, and they have some good suggestions, BUT...whatever you do don't leave you kids behind! That would be the biggest fuckup of all mistakes. Also, maybe your X and fiance had a relationship going of some sort that maybe you didn't know about before -POSSIBILTY-. Question for you though....Have you ever EVER cheated, been unfaithful, or monogomus(sp) in any way shape or form on either of them, your fiance or your X??? This is some serious shit bro, its not something you can just put behind you and move on to start something new again...WORK WITH IT! If what you say is TRUE and they are wrong, then eventually they will come to their senses and SO WILL YOU!!! And if you're really in a bind, then(please don't kill me all you guys) you might have to give up some of your gear or recreatinal hobby to better fix this situation, not to mention fix your fucking diet on only eating 1000 Cals. Guys, give me a fucking "AMEN" when I say Women are fucking out of this world and can be more terrible than us guys. Actually alot of them are worse than us...no wonder we've become more superior to women when this world first started! Your in a tough ass situatin here Val, but listen up big bro, Don't Give Up!!! Enough said. Wish the best for you Val ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Villan Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 136) |
posted March 21, 2000 03:18 PM
Hey, just go find ya some potsmokers to beat up to make you feel better, or you can just do what everybody else says. That would probably be better for you.
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Big Brother Val Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 388) |
posted March 21, 2000 03:35 PM
I didn't cheat with anyone. BEFORE me and the fiance started dating... me and the x would still see eachother sometimes. It was hard to totally break off. But we did. And I really fell hard for this gal. She said all the right stuff, exactly when I needed to hear it. She's at work now... and told me she wishes she could kill me and not go to jail for it. This is coming from a really smart gal, who's going for her major in lifestyle management. She's beautiful, and smart... yet... she said about 10 minutes ago, that our child was made from lies and deceit, and that she wishes I was dead. I hate to be a pansy... but fuck it hurts. IP: Logged |
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BuffEnuf Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 292) |
posted March 21, 2000 03:40 PM
Hey Big Val... first off I feel for ya! Second if your fiance' is pregnant her hormones are running wild thats why she's acting fruity... (I went through it to) As far as YOUR kids... thats right they are your kids too. Only a court of law can, and they have to have a very good reason tell you that you cannot see your kids. Dont you have visitation rights from your divorce decree? If so and she doesnt let you see them then she can be held in contempt of court. Do what you may, just think before you do something that you will regret. Goodluck bro! ------------------ IP: Logged |
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DianaBallBusta Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 426) |
posted March 21, 2000 04:40 PM
Wow bro...I really don't know what to say to that. I'm still young and haven't had to worry about marriages and pregnancy yet but I relly feel for ya man. It sounds like this chic took some of your juice and went on a fucking roid rage! Let the gym be your best friend for now...and I truly hope shit gets better for you man. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Marauder Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 144) |
posted March 21, 2000 06:15 PM
Hey bro, go to a lawywer who will work on a contingency basis. Good luck! ------------------ IP: Logged |
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MattTheSkywalker Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 370) |
posted March 21, 2000 06:22 PM
Val, Sorry to hear about this. Consider your legal options. If these women are living together, then they are probably united against you. Souinds shitty but probably true. They probably are looking at legal options as well.......make sure you retain an attorney. Also, is it within the realm of possibilty for you to gain custody of the kids? Because at this point, they are the most important thing to you, right? I wish you luck - you have my support.... Matt IP: Logged |
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deltman Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 59) |
posted March 21, 2000 06:29 PM
It will get better Val, I basically had the same thing happen 18 months ago. I was shocked and depressed. I divorced my wife and married the weights.............and I've gotten a whole lot more back from the weights!!!! This time too will come to pass, just don't ever, ever, EVER forget your kids man. deltman IP: Logged |
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mrjeremy Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 26) |
posted March 21, 2000 06:35 PM
that sucks, sounds like you were not ready for a wife or kids.. i say fuck the gear and get your shit together and raise a family and get some counselling with your wife.. your kids are the most important thing right now..not this board, not bodybuilding. you sound strong enough physically.. time for mental. IP: Logged |
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THESAINT Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 172) |
posted March 21, 2000 06:47 PM
BBV, THAT SUCKS, BUT YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT. THIS KIND OF SHIT WILL SCREW YOU UP. 1) GO TO A DOCTOR AND GET AN ANTI- DEPRESSANT SO YOU CAN START EATING AGAIN AND SO YOU DON'T MAKE ANY DECISIONS IN THIS FRAME OF MIND. 2) GET A LAWYER, IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD ONE GET AHOLD OF LEGAL AID IN YOUR AREA. THEY TAKE CASES FOR FREE. 3) DO NOT GET BACK WITH HER. ANYONE THAT CAN DO SHIT LIKE THAT, EVEN IF SHE THOUGHT YOU DID SOMETHING IS VENGEFUL AND SPITEFUL. SHE WILL DO IT AGAIN, ANYTIME YOU DO SOMETHING SHE DOESN'T LIKE. DO NOT GET BACK WITH HER. 4) DON'T LOSE YOUR SELF-RESPECT. YOU SAY SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL. ON THE OUTSIDE, DEFINITELY NOT ON THE INSIDE. HELL, YOU GOT HER YOU CAN GET SOMEONE ELSE EVEN BETTER. GOOD LUCK BRO. IP: Logged |
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macrophage69alpha Moderator (Total posts: 973) |
posted March 21, 2000 06:54 PM
Big Brother VAL Just a suggestion, maybe you need to try to talk to your fiance and your X and figure out what is going on here. I realize that your fiance is probably not willing at this time to tell you what she really feels but you need to find out. There are a lot of reasons for this: 2.you obviously cared/care deeply for her 3.you were engaged 4.the situation involves your X and your other kids 5.you need some closure-one way or the other 6.there is no way to attain peace of mind without finding the reasons for you fiance and X suddenly hating you and turning against you. well I am sure there are other reasons but these, to me, make it clear that until you find out what is going on you are not going to be happy- even if you find out though, you may still be unhappy- but at least you will know why. Best of luck hope everything works out Peace ------------------ IP: Logged |
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marky Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 187) |
posted March 21, 2000 07:13 PM
It doesnt sound like she's going to back off till she finishes the job so-FIGHT BACK!!! Of course your kids are first in the situation but your a damn next second! Backing down or giving in to anything she does only supports her story. It may get dirty but you cannot run from it. Good luck and pump even harder!! IP: Logged |
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roadruler Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 25) |
posted March 21, 2000 07:27 PM
DAM!!!! I feel bad for ya bro. Fuck that man, if she's fuckin u over for no reason like that, i would fuck her over even worse... get a lawyer. Your X can't make u not see your kids, they need u, find a way man. And for your fiance, she sounds crazy, u don't do that without actual evidence, if she was suspicious she should have talked to u about it, not go and freak out like she did, and your BROTHER saying shit too. Man now u know who really cares about u and who dosen't. Unfortunately you find that out when situations like this come up. I know this is easier said than done, but don't let this mess u up. Keep hittin the gym hard, think about all the hard work u put into it, it could easily be gone if you don't keep it up. Plus this is a way for u to take your mind off matters. Good Luck. IP: Logged |
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champion Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 101) |
posted March 21, 2000 08:55 PM
Theres not really much to say, the rest of the guys covered it all. But man I hate it when this type of shit happens to a bro so all I got to say is We are all here for ya. good luck man. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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darkside Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 25) |
posted March 21, 2000 09:00 PM
FIDO FUCK IT AND DRIVE ON SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT THE TROUBLE BUT LIFE SUCKS SOMETIMES AND SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO STAND THERE AND TAKE IT. AND OTHER TIMES YOU DONT. DO WANT YOU WANT AND TRY TO MOVE ON IP: Logged |
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B Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 120) |
posted March 21, 2000 10:07 PM
Excelent advise above but just one thing...............LET US KNOW YOUR O.K........Hardball2 went threw some shit and we haven't heard from him..........Just concerned bro........Just like everybody else said, if you need ANYTHING just drop a line........"B" IP: Logged |
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the truth Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 207) |
posted March 21, 2000 10:20 PM
Sorry to hear about this. If she's threatening to expose your gear use (and she has exposed it to your folks), then I think it would be difficult to trust her. Distance yourself from her, at least for now. Stay focused and sane; keep a regular routine (gym, food, sleep, etc.). I know this doesn't ease the pain, but hopefully it will prevent it from getting any worse. IP: Logged |
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Deepsquat Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 417) |
posted March 21, 2000 10:32 PM
Is n't it amazing that women do the same fuckin thing all over the world ? They do it again and again and again!(By the way I bet she got pregnant on purpose )She was planing on trapping you and now she changed her mind. If you tell me she was on birth control I say did you see her take the pill everyday at the same time of day? Now that she has freeked out reread some of the good post given to hardball. As for the can't afford a lawyer.......you don't need one! Go to your local library or to a Barnes and Noble or hell do a web search on mens rights in child custody,you have the right to see your children! Go to you courthouse in your county and ask if they have someone who helps fill out paper work (I think they are called a court advocate)Pull out the old paper work from your divorce,most of the stuff you lawyer at the time did is very simple.It is just a matter of knowing how to fill out the paper.Go for your ex-wifes throat right now! It will show her that you will not take any shit from her when it comes to your children,AH hah what you need to file is a contempt of court order(just thought of it)you can have a friend serve her the papers (thats free) and all you have to include in you fileing with the court is that she is in violation of your parenting plan9part of your divorce proceedings) and include a copy of it in your fileing state what days she has denied you access to your children and you are good to go. By the way, after she is served and if she lets you see the kids do not drop the action. In my state after 3 offenses on her part she is fined (payable to you ) and on the 4 th she does jail time,and at that point you would hold strong sway with the court if you went for custody. IP: Logged |
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Mr. Nasty Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 81) |
posted March 21, 2000 10:34 PM
Hey brother I feel for you. Like the other guys said though if she turned on you that easy then it wasn't meant to be. The big guy upstairs will take care of you...be patient. Whatever you do see those kids(and the new baby) You have a right to. They need you. As for your family they'll come around. If they know who you really are inside then they'll believe you! As for the gear, it's no one's business as long as your not rageing on the innoscent. Screw 'em. Best of luck brother IP: Logged |
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Iron Mike Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 25) |
posted March 21, 2000 11:30 PM
Mate, I know the feeling. Three weeks ago my girl of two years broke up with me just like that and told me she wanted to see other people, but I know, through various avenues, that she'd already been cheating on me. I didn't ask who with cos I just don't wanna know. I put my whole life into her, and then bang, I had nothing. There's nothing I can say to make you feel better. I know I don't. I couldn't eat a meal for over a week, started drinking and smoking again, couldn't sleep - basically fucked up. Pulling it together now. The only advice I can give is to take it day by day and be the best person you can. Don't get vindictive or angry about it, just sit back and see what people are really like. Help those you can and that will make you feel like you're worth something. Man, that's a hard fricking blow. If you believe in God pray like crazy. Maybe try writing her a letter - probably won't work, but at least you know that she knows what's really up. Good luck buddy. IronMike IP: Logged |
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kd Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 58) |
posted March 21, 2000 11:33 PM
Let the two demons from hell have each other. You won't want to fight with women like that over trival things constantly the rest of your life. But do get court papers allowing you access And remember there are lots of women that are Look ahead to a happier future. kd IP: Logged |
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Pops Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 9) |
posted March 21, 2000 11:48 PM
Val......pull out the hefty bag!!!!! just kidding bro. ive had some -Pops IP: Logged |
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RAGING BULL Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 8) |
posted March 22, 2000 01:01 AM
Hey Big, Don't spend one more precious moment trying to figure your women out. Women have never, nor will they ever make sense! Thank God there are some hot ones out there. Keep this in mind for the future: Women aren't to be understood, they are to be loved. Peace ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Capt'n_Crunch Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 45) |
posted March 22, 2000 05:19 PM
Sorry to hear you got all that drama in your life bro. You got regroup your soul, mind, and body and move on. I know it sounds a lot easier than done but you got to do what a father and man has to do for your own sake and those of your children. Move away if you have to and start a new life if thats what it takes...Take care of yourself bro IP: Logged |
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