posted February 18, 2000 04:47 AM            

One thing that seems certain you only have VIRGIN receptors once right?

Dick and Jane's First Steroid - by Dan Duchaine

"...Next, you should carefully orchestrate your steroid plan of attack. I say this because your first steroid experience will be your most productive. This incredible burst of anabolism will happen once and once only. Keeping this in mind, I recommend that you use the MOST EFFECTIVE AND POTENT of all steroids for your first time: injectable testosterone.

Trust me on this one. IGNORE advice from every other expert. Do not consider synthetics, including pills like Dianabol and Anadrol 50. These choices may be appropriate at a later date, but they are not potent enough for that crucial first time. Creams, patches, analogs, precursors, and boosters are all VIRTUALLY INEFFECTIVE AT ANY DOSE OR PRICE. A three cc syringe full of oily testosterone and a 21 to 23 gauge needle are required to get the most out of your first testosterone experience.

Some scientists who obviously had too much time on their hands have developed fancy alternatives to good old-fashioned testosterone. The most popular drug of this kind is a blend of various species of testosterone called Sustanon 250. Sustanon 250 is designed for crybabies who are too delicate to inject testosterone once a week. Sustanon 250 is overpriced, only comes in one cc doses, and can cause scar tissue at the injection site. Read this now, believe me later: Sustanon 250 is NO BETTER than any other kind of testosterone, and it�s much more expensive. Two pre-loads (or ampoules) cost between $30 and $40 on the US black market. An equivalent amount of veterinary grade testosterone costs less than $10. Foreign veterinary drugs are the best buys. Don�t be surprised if the label has a picture of farm animals on it, or some unintelligible Spanish words. These drugs are JUST AS CLEAN AND POTENT as their American counterparts. But, hey, it�s your cash.

There are many varieties of testosterone. Testosterone suspension is just testosterone powder in water. It is very painful to inject and causes a lot of scar tissue. Testosterone propionate also causes too much pain and scarring to be used repeatedly. Testosterone enanthate and testosterone cypionate your best bets. They come in 200 mg/cc doses, and are relatively cheap.

Dick and Jane's First Steroid - continued

How much should you inject each week? Nothing less than 600 mg of testosterone a week will do the job. Remember, the first few testosterone injections of your life will be your most productive ones. I hate to say this, but those great stories of how so-and-so gained 50 pounds of muscle in just a few weeks are often distorted. These dramatic weight gains are ONE SHOT DEALS. Your FIRST steroid encounter is, perhaps, the ONLY ONE that will give you significant gains. DON�T fart those gains away with chicken-shit dosages or with some girlie, weak-assed steroid. If you are a male, and you want to use testosterone to get big and strong, then jam 600 to 1000 cc of either testosterone enanthate or cypionate once a week. The USH II will give you the step-by-steps on needles, but the short version is that you want a three cc syringe, with a needle at least one inch long, either 22 or 23 gauge. Inject all the testosterone that you are going to use for the week at the same time. If you using 600 mg of testosterone enanthate or cypionate, this is the full three cc oil....."