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 NEW CHICK OR BABY'S MOM?
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| Author | Topic: NEW CHICK OR BABY'S MOM? |
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HARDBALL2 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 102) |
posted February 04, 2000 02:06 AM
  
hey fella's this is sincere...my girlfriend and I have been on and off for almost four years. we've fought for almost 3, breaking up countless times. she says it's my fault, i say it's hers...we just don't agree. last december, we had a baby girl. she is already 1 and a month old. she is the love of my life. i'd do anything for her, both her and her mom...we just can't get along. I still love my girlfriend, but sooooooo sick of arguing...i can't argue during ball cause then i'll think to much...bad thing to do. this is where it turns ugly...recently i got reunited with a friend for 3 years. she is soooo cool and very fun to be around...she even watches sports on tv when no one else makes her. she loves BASEBALL, college basketball, and college football. plus she's very pretty...my girlfriend and her kinda look alike... i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. i don't know what to do...take care of my daughter for sure! my girl and i aren't happy, and i think this girl might be a prospect... please some advice!!! get huge and drop bombs!!!! IP: Logged |
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1AbBIG Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 19) |
posted February 04, 2000 02:37 AM
hey man , here is my opinion .. i would go where it would make you more happy.. definently take care of your daughter.. she is the most important thing .. you have to be happy bro. argueing is not worth it.. i have been married now for six years and have been with my wife now a total of 11 years.. we argue over stupid shit and about 5 minutess later it is like nothing ever happened.. i enjoy being with my wife, but if we could not get along then i would definently move on. life is to short to waste the time we have in it. good luck man and take the happy road out.... hope i shed some light for you !! IP: Logged |
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HARDBALL2 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 102) |
posted February 04, 2000 02:43 AM
THANKS IABIG, YES YOU DID HELP!! GET HUGE AND DROP BOMBS!!!! IP: Logged |
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1AbBIG Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 19) |
posted February 04, 2000 02:53 AM
good luck with your decision.. wish you the best .. IP: Logged |
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POLES Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 5) |
posted February 04, 2000 04:20 AM
hey bro-first thing you have to do is to see if you can salvage a relationship with your baby's mom. If not, then you have to be concerned with your baby and what is best for her. Then, you can worry about whats best for you. Remember, you brought a kid into this world, dont fuck her life up cause of shit between you and her mom IP: Logged |
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DoctorSavage Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 14) |
posted February 04, 2000 09:34 AM
Poles is right. Do what ever you have to to get things right with you and your baby's momma. Period. And you should marry her ASAP. What you two have made is a bastard. Thats an ugly word that nobody uses, but it's accurate. If that little girl grows up without a man in the house everyday her chances of going to college drop to 25% of what the would be in a two parent house. She is 3 times more likely to experiment with drugs before age 14. She is 11 times more likely to experiment with sex before age 14 (think about that, Dad). Her chances of only having one marriage in her lifetime drops from an already dismal 50/50 to less than one in 8. What you have done is create a recipe for one fucked up kid. It is your responsibility to make sure that doesn't happen. Sorry if this sounds heavy handed, but this is heavy stuff you brought up. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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grosso Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 31) |
posted February 04, 2000 09:45 AM
Yes hardball , try to save your relationship with the mom of your little girl. That beautiful creature is the result of the love between you and your women. You have to become a FAMILY. You know I am telling you that because my wife is actually waiting for a little boy .... and I can't imagine a life together with them. IP: Logged |
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chesty Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 63) |
posted February 04, 2000 10:19 AM
Marriage is not the answer. If you can't get along definitely don't get married. You need to do what makes you happy. If you are happy then your little girl will be happy. If you are miserable then everyone around you is going to be miserable. I know, I have been there and done that. Twice. Each time for 8 plus years. I lost three girls to my first ex-wife. She wanted to take me to court for more money wouldn't let me visit, and wanted to use the kids as pawns. Well in short, I let her hsuband adpt them and gave up my rights because it was more important to me that they were happy. My two cents. chesty IP: Logged |
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Rohan Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 24) |
posted February 04, 2000 10:28 AM
Whatever you do, don't procrastinate! If you split with your wife now, it will be while the baby is still young. Split up in three years time and it will cause 10 times more anguish to the little one, because she has become accustomed to you and is old enough to understand... Personally, I'd go with happiness for myself. You've got to see the "big picture" here. Try setting a deadline for yourself and your wife. If one of you can't make it without trying, go for the girl that makes you happy. Good Luck and try praying.. IP: Logged |
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Tim_Couch Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 20) |
posted February 04, 2000 10:46 AM
Had the same dilemma recently, only a kid isn't involved. I was with this girl for 5 yrs. and found somebody else. Thought everything would be cool, but I have an unbelievable sense of guilt that has taken over my life. New girl is awesome, great for my life, but I hate myself for what I did. I can only imagine that when a child is involved it would be a lot worse. IP: Logged |
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Big Brother Val Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 40) |
posted February 04, 2000 11:03 AM
Sorry to hear about your situation. I unfortunately split up with my wife of after 5 years. In fact, I just got the divorce papers in the mail on Wednesday stating it was final. We have two children between us, one that was just born in December. I love my children more than anything in this world. But it was not fair for my 3 year old to see us fight. So I thought I was doing what is best. To tell you the truth, me and my x get along better now than we have in years. We talk about our differences now rather than fight about them, and it's causing a lot of regret. Maybe not selecting one or the other right now like I did would help. Take it a day at a time. If a little time apart from your baby's mom would help... take the time. Visit more with your friend, and see how things pan out. If you miss you baby's mama, then you know which way your heart is pointed. If when you're with your new friend, she's the furthest thing from your mind... well, that's a sign. I salute you for thinking about your baby. A lot of guys out there just don't give a shit. Take care, bro. IP: Logged |
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Adonis Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 69) |
posted February 04, 2000 11:14 AM
Hey Bro. Life is too short too live in HELL. Be proud you gave it a good go with the one that gave birth to your babey girl. Go with what makes you happy, you cant please everyone, but you have control over what pleases you... IP: Logged |
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studcj Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 61) |
posted February 04, 2000 11:43 AM
You have to make your decision now. Rohan is right. Do it now and the baby will be used to the living arrangement. BUT, don't forget about your daughter. Make sure that you are still in her life as much as possible. As far as what Dr Carnage said, hey, if you and your babys mom are good parents, she will not grow up to be a failure. I have seen both sides of this situation with many friends. The ones whos parents play an active roll in their life, are all succesful and good at what they do. Its not about being with or without your babys mom. Its about being good parents. Well, thats my two cents anyway. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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macrophage69alpha Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 282) |
posted February 04, 2000 12:22 PM
Do what makes you happy, but be sure to take into account the future of our daughter. I personally beleive that you owe her at the very least love and support- but I am not one to impose my views- this is just advice. Beware of those who would impose their morality upon you- there is no requirement that you marry this girl or even that you take care of the child. You have to decide what you beleieve is right (according to your morals, not someone elses) and what will make you happy and then try to reconcile those two aspects. TO THOSE WHO DISAGREE, I SAY TAKE YOUR MORAL INQUISITION ELSEWHERE. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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E2 Pro Bodybuilder (Total posts: 272) |
posted February 04, 2000 01:16 PM
I saw first and foremost take care of the baby, and it seems like that's what you wanna do. Secondly, marrying the mother obviously isn't a good idea. It seems like the two of you just won't be able to hack through the 40 years of marriage in the future. I think it's better for you to be happy and give the child all you can, rather than marrying her and raising your child in a house that's full of fights and negative energy. Go with your heart, and be happy. Staying with the mother in my eyes is the wrong thing to do. Always be there for your child no matter what, but give her the happiest life possible, you and the mother together doesnt' seem like a very happ enviroment E2 IP: Logged |
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tray renfro Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 82) |
posted February 04, 2000 01:43 PM
tough place to be brother. you seem to have the important part figured out and thats your daughter. for your other problem ive been there. dont really have much advise but to hange in there. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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tray renfro Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 82) |
posted February 04, 2000 01:43 PM
tough place to be brother. you seem to have the important part figured out and thats your daughter. for your other problem ive been there. dont really have much advise but to hang in there. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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BigCatratcho Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 8) |
posted February 04, 2000 01:53 PM
hey man sounds tough. I would look at the relationship between you and your current girlfriend first, without comparing her to the new(other, old) flame. See wht you can work out of your first relationship. It is easy to comapre the two and choose the new one because the begnning of a relationship is always exciting and fun. If you determine that your current relationship is bad for the both of you (and it sounds pretty adversarial) end it. Your baby will still be your baby and she'd thank you for not raising her in a shity environment. The new girlfriend is a completely different decision. (opinions expressed come from the single mom upbringing and I've been divorced as well. Breaking up sucks, but in retrospect can be the best solution) good luck Big Honduran IP: Logged |
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Deepsquat Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 61) |
posted February 04, 2000 02:45 PM
Been there done that! Lesson learned.Drop the mother of your child .That is the only hold she has over you(and pardon the assumption, may be the reason she got pregnant in the first place?).Move on with your life and try to be happy she is only dragging you down,Go with the girl that makes yoou happy!!!!You dont want to look back 5 years from now when you are in divorce court wishing you had went with the one that makes you happy> IP: Logged |
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MattTheSkywalker Amateur Bodybuilder (Total posts: 41) |
posted February 04, 2000 02:48 PM
HB, Just be sure that the new girl is for real.....AND MAKE SURE SHE IS COMPATIBLE WITH YOUR DAUGHTER - make sure that she's just as "cool" about deeper shit too. MAKE PEACE with your baby's mother.....because she is important to your daughter's upbringing as well. Your daughter needs you AND her mother to be parents to her, even if you're not together. Good luck bro, Matt ------------------ IP: Logged |
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