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 Anabolic Discussion Board
 How can I fuck with my personal trainer?(Came with my membership)
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| Author | Topic: How can I fuck with my personal trainer?(Came with my membership) | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder 
Posts: 1226 |
I have a personal training deal with my membership that I signed up for. I didn't really want it, but since I got it, I might as well make them work for it..right? I kind of have my choice...either a guy that's kinda big, but thinks he's god, or a smaller guy with a better attitude, or a chick. I need to know some ways to fuck with them cause I'm not really going to take it too seriously. Got any ideas??     | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder 
Posts: 319 |
Tell them that you know nothing about training. Wear a loose sweater. Then let them go through all of their weird stretching and useless machines doing the heaviest weight possible. No matter how well you do it, they will say you are doing it wrong because they are stupid. Or act weak when they help you bench for the first day and barely do 135-185. Then the next time you see them, ask them to spot you will 225+ and watch them freak out when you do it easily. ------------------ Great Information on Injections and Syringes | ||
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Cool Novice 
Posts: 21 |
If you want to "fuck" with your personal trainer., THEN YOU BETTER CHOOSE A CHIC! Unless you lean in other direction.... | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder 
Posts: 92 |
You could go the opposit and pretend as though you have never lifted but use as much weight as possible for the exercises...make sure you ask lots of dumb questions | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 90 |
If the chick is hot then take her. Make sure she is wearing loose shorts and have her show you how to use the leg ab/adduction machine and the glute machine that puts you in doggy style position. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 142 |
Ask them questions like, "What is time under tension?" "Tell me about German Volume training!" "How does the golgi tendon apparatus work?" "Why are you so small when others are so big?" "Can you show me where the rotator cuff is and how to strengthen it?" "Why do you tell me to squat to only parallel when most strength coaches agree that it is harder on the knees than squatting ass to the floor?" | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 215 |
come in to your first session in bondage gear tell them you want to look like ronnie coleman and you have 3 month's to do it s00oouurrjjeerrkkkkk | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 196 |
WEAR A CROTCHLESS WETSUIT TO YOUR FIRST SESSION. MAKE SURE YOU BRING A SNORKEL AND YELL, "OKAY...WHERE'S THE HOT TUB?!" ------------------ GOT CINDY? | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 70 |
Better not fuck with me cause I can awnswer all of monkey boy's questions, cause I would put you in a world of hurt and I would rather piss on you than help you out in the future...go with the girl and enjoy watching her but with respect...don't go making enemies too soon at your new club | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 143 |
Ask them sheepishly... "What do you think about STEROIDS?" After they lecture you for an hour, pull our a bunch of needles and ampules from your gym bag and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 397 |
quote: Ha ha ha ha ha ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 523 |
Damn Big Johnson, that's what I needed to kick-off my day. I LMFAO!!!! ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 89 |
quote: I like this one. Or after there finish lecturing you ask "ok, I got it now where can I get some"? | ||
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Novice 
Posts: 8 |
All kidding aside, as someone who usually trains alone I think its great to have a dedicated spotter for a whole session (and it sounds like the price is right). Why fuck with the guy? I would tell him where I am at and have him help me through those tough lifts. Always great to have a spotter when holding 80 pd dumbbells over your head. | ||
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Novice
Posts: 5 |
ask him tough questions... like: "explain canadian autoregulated resistence training" "how effective is Charles Poliquin's 1-6 principle?" "how long does it take your body to use muscle protein as energy?" AND, if he knows the asnswers to these questions...don't fuck with him anymore, he probably knows his shit. | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 196 |
PICK THE CHICK AND TELL HER YOU'RE OFFERING FREE ORAL PROTEIN INJECTIONS FOR QUALIFIED INDIVIDUALS. HEY...I ONCE TOLD A CHICK I WAS NOW INTERVIEWING APLLICANTS FOR THE POSITION OF PROTEIN TASTER. SHE WAS ACCEPTED, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. | ||
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Novice
Posts: 10 |
Well you have some good suggestions on how to phuck with them, but if I had a p/t as part of my deal, I'd take advantage of it. Some of these guys have formal training and really know their shit. Even if you don't learn anything, you can at least get in some really intense workouts with a full time spotter / person to strip off weights for drop sets, etc. | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 397 |
yea some personal trainers know what they're doing but 90% don't know their head from their ass. Well maybe that's not a fair estimate, but my membership is for 24hr fitness and their PT's are dipshits. ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 143 |
quote: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 92 |
I have yet to see personal trainer that has 1/10th the training knowledge that i do...And that includes the 2 national competitors and the female pro (she won one contest last year, thats your only hint) Fuckin A when I see a trainer (today) teaching a chick to do legpresses with her toes pointed "in" I want to run over and ask the dumb fuck if he's trying to blow her knees out ! Fuck with the trainer anyway that you can because 99% of them are worthless! | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 681 |
Yeah i am sure when studcj goes into the gym and pretends like he's never worked out.. they aren't gonna beleive it... Yeah I look like i have done 4 cycles, i'm 240lbs, i got 18" guns, and i am just starting to work out... They'll beleive you...When i wanted to fuck with a trainer at my gym... I got him and another trainer to make a bet that i could outgrow the other trainers guy. Of course i went on cycle and we won 500 bucks each... The other guys never knew what was coming... BTW... I workout at a sport club, the four seasons... So i am the only guy on roids there... Im only a senior in highschool, so my mommy pays my gym fees... Its a nice facility for 500 bucks a month ahaha | ||
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Moderator 
Posts: 1758 |
quote: I like this one. ------------------ | ||
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Pro Bodybuilder
Posts: 413 |
Not all personal trainers are stupid. | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 755 |
Get the chick and maybe she be a cutie. Be cool and don't abuse her. After a few times start easy come on maybe lunch. If you lucky you just might get to fuck her. | ||
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Cool Novice
Posts: 26 |
yea man, i know how you feel. most of the pt's at the 24 hour fitness i go to have shit for brains. ------------------ | ||
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Amateur Bodybuilder
Posts: 81 |
Damn fellas !!! Sure are cracking trainers pretty hard, I guess I can understand, because the trainer doesnt know much about steroid use and isnt quite as 'buff' as "us"....... I'm working as a personal trainer and I think its the best job in the world...I get paid to bullshit with people all day, yet I do know my shit.....There are trainers out there that do know their shit and are very helpful to those fucks that probably arent going to stick with it.......granted there are those that dont know much, yet no where near 99% of pt's are dumb asses.
Bottom line, if you dont need a trainer, dont use one, most trainers are sincere people that like to help others, and though some might not know much about drug use, doesnt mean their not helpful. | ||
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Novice
Posts: 10 |
the 24hr fitness i go to has some either bad ass trainers or shitty ones.. the guy who trained ronnie coleman trains at mine so who knows | ||
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Elite Bodybuilder
Posts: 1142 |
Go with the big guy, make him feel like a god, and perhaps make a connection in the mean time. |
All times are ET (US) | |
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posted February 21, 2001 12:03 AM
