Work weirdness

[Cutiebolic]

Ok ladies,

I'm sure we have all been in the position where a male boss has made inappropriate comments about our bodies. This is a little more clear cut.

What I need advice on is this... What do you do when a female boss is constantly commenting on (both positively and negatively) your body?

Mine makes comments literally daily about what I eat, how I eat, when I eat, what my body looks like, if I'm gaining or losing weight, etc

It is completely unrelated to what we do for a living and I feel is getting kind of inappropriate. I want to be taken seriously for what I contribute, not for what my hobby/lifestyle makes my body look like. I don't tell her that she looks like a fat walking heart attack! Why do I constantly have to hear about my appearance?

I don't dress suggestively and I don't talk about my working out, etc at work. I have tried to gently guide conversation in a different direction but it hasn't worked. Frankly, it is kind of humiliating to have her call attention to me in that way and then feel like I'm being visually undressed by everyone I work with.

Any suggestions?

C

 

[Mrs_P]

Ok ladies,

I'm sure we have all been in the position where a male boss has made inappropriate comments about our bodies. This is a little more clear cut.

What I need advice on is this... What do you do when a female boss is constantly commenting on (both positively and negatively) your body?

Mine makes comments literally daily about what I eat, how I eat, when I eat, what my body looks like, if I'm gaining or losing weight, etc

It is completely unrelated to what we do for a living and I feel is getting kind of inappropriate. I want to be taken seriously for what I contribute, not for what my hobby/lifestyle makes my body look like. I don't tell her that she looks like a fat walking heart attack! Why do I constantly have to hear about my appearance?
I don't dress suggestively and I don't talk about my working out, etc at work. I have tried to gently guide conversation in a different direction but it hasn't worked. Frankly, it is kind of humiliating to have her call attention to me in that way and then feel like I'm being visually undressed by everyone I work with.

Any suggestions?

C

When I had an office job 6 years ago, I went through a similar situation, I worked for a major carrier company & in the office it was mainly females, my boss ever since the first time she saw me gave me an up & down look, I just knew right then & there how it was going to be, I worked there for 12 years & she would always comment on why was I carring a gallon of water with me to work, or how she didn't think women that were fit were attractive, how I was eating, and so on, and so on.

I just really ignored her, & didn't let it get to me, I mean, u can try & talk to her about it, but most likely people that are this closed minded don't reason, they obviosly have self image issues, among other things & this type of behavior makes them feel better about themselves & in control.

Unfortunetly this world is full of haters, and people that judge others based on apperance, I mean, honestly we all do it sometimes,
Many people use physical apperance in order to make general assumptions about the personality, social status, income, athletic abilities, even intelligence.

But there's a difference between making assumptions based on apperance than what your going through, your boss is being innapropiate & your gonna have to either talk to her & address it, or learn to not let it get to u.


Good luck with this situation

 

[zedhed]

Aint no lady...LOL..
you could go to HR and it will play out in either of 2 ways.
She will either back off or she will make your life a living hell.
Wish I had something better to tell you that that is the reality of this kind of situation.

 

[Mrs_P]

Aint no lady...LOL..
you could go to HR and it will play out in either of 2 ways.
She will either back off or she will make your life a living hell.
Wish I had something better to tell you that that is the reality of this kind of situation.

Agree, ^^ either do this, or just ignore it & don't let it get to u.

 

[Cutiebolic]

Thank you both. I will try to let it roll off my back (and my well developed lats... Lol -- I wish!)

It actually makes me feel better to complain about her behind her back. Who's catty now?!

 

[Peprika]

just be glad that you don't have to live with her, as she has to live with herself, every single treacherous moment of every day!

stay positive, be proud of yourself and don't let her manipulate you.

 

[trex74]

Wow, I would do something totally different- address the situation.
I would:
ask to speak to her privately
I would then say: " (Her name), you know I value your opinion, and I know you have my best interests in mind, but gosh, I just feel really uncomfortable when you comment in public on what I eat, how much I weigh, and what my body looks like. Now I am happy to take your advice anytime, but I get a little embarrassed when you mention these things at work."
If she has any smarts whatsoever she will back off. Don't ever go to HR without talking to her first. I don't like the tactic of letting it slide because this is plain harassment and it will escalate if you don't nicely tell her to back off. Document what you said, when you said it.

 

[RachelM]

Good advice Trex

 

[caligirl85]

Wow, I would do something totally different- address the situation.
I would:
ask to speak to her privately
I would then say: " (Her name), you know I value your opinion, and I know you have my best interests in mind, but gosh, I just feel really uncomfortable when you comment in public on what I eat, how much I weigh, and what my body looks like. Now I am happy to take your advice anytime, but I get a little embarrassed when you mention these things at work."
If she has any smarts whatsoever she will back off. Don't ever go to HR without talking to her first. I don't like the tactic of letting it slide because this is plain harassment and it will escalate if you don't nicely tell her to back off. Document what you said, when you said it.

Great advice...and I'd echo the documenting part. I'd keep a note of everything you said and every incident further. Or..If you decide not to confront it, I'd still keep a few notes somewhere. You never know when you might need it. I'd address it though. She may not realize how much she is doing it. Good luck!! These situations are never easy!

 

[Cutiebolic]

You guys are the best! Thanks!!!