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buffalogal
New member
I just recently moved to a new company out of state, basically starting my life over after a divorce. After two weeks on the job, a co-worker and I started dating. Where I work, there are no rules against employees dating each other. The biggest problem: he is one rank higher than me. Not a direct supervisor, but he does hold a management position.
We decided to keep it quiet for a while, not knowing how things were going to work out between us and not wanting to deal with a "public" break-up if that were to occur. Another reason is the type of people we work with. He's worked there for years, and they aren't the most supportive group of people. We weren't sure if they would make it tough for us, be completely against it, etc. (hard to explain how they are...)
There is no favoritism and/or preferential treatment being given. In fact, when we're at work together we try not to interact any more than necessary. Our opinion is it's best to keep it professional and we'll focus on our private lives outside of the office.
We began to suspect several weeks ago that people were getting suspicious, and that was confirmed by an outside source yesterday. My bf originally told me to deny everything, but when confronted by this outside source, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't confirm it, but he also didn't deny it. So, it probably won't be long before the rumor mill starts and people start asking directly.
As it stands right now, after almost 4 months, we have a fantastic relationship. I love him, he loves me, I love his kids, we've met each other's families, etc. Recently, he has brought up our future together and the possibility of moving in together at some point, although probably not until his kids get a little older.
While we don't think it's any of our co-workers business, I feel that our boss needs to know. I have built up a very trusting relationship with the boss and don't want to see that compromised. It would be better coming from us rather than finding out through the grapevine. He is not opposed to me telling our boss, but told me it's my decision. Either that, or he will do it during the rating period, which is still several months away. My question is: how do you know when it's time and how much detail to go into? Also, how do you do that? In the office or outside of work? I think the sooner the boss knows, the better but I'm a little nervous about the prospect of it.
We decided to keep it quiet for a while, not knowing how things were going to work out between us and not wanting to deal with a "public" break-up if that were to occur. Another reason is the type of people we work with. He's worked there for years, and they aren't the most supportive group of people. We weren't sure if they would make it tough for us, be completely against it, etc. (hard to explain how they are...)
There is no favoritism and/or preferential treatment being given. In fact, when we're at work together we try not to interact any more than necessary. Our opinion is it's best to keep it professional and we'll focus on our private lives outside of the office.
We began to suspect several weeks ago that people were getting suspicious, and that was confirmed by an outside source yesterday. My bf originally told me to deny everything, but when confronted by this outside source, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't confirm it, but he also didn't deny it. So, it probably won't be long before the rumor mill starts and people start asking directly.
As it stands right now, after almost 4 months, we have a fantastic relationship. I love him, he loves me, I love his kids, we've met each other's families, etc. Recently, he has brought up our future together and the possibility of moving in together at some point, although probably not until his kids get a little older.
While we don't think it's any of our co-workers business, I feel that our boss needs to know. I have built up a very trusting relationship with the boss and don't want to see that compromised. It would be better coming from us rather than finding out through the grapevine. He is not opposed to me telling our boss, but told me it's my decision. Either that, or he will do it during the rating period, which is still several months away. My question is: how do you know when it's time and how much detail to go into? Also, how do you do that? In the office or outside of work? I think the sooner the boss knows, the better but I'm a little nervous about the prospect of it.
