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What Are Your Thoughts On Honesty In Relationships?

S

slick635235

New member
Women want honest men, but when she wants to know every detail she gets mad. For example, I told my ex that I fucked a stripper and she was upset with me for a very long time. I try to lie about the circumstance, but she always knows when I lie and makes her more upset. Listen, I try to tell white lies, but she always finds out, somehow. Some things just need to be left unsaid to avoid hurting your partner's feelings..................SO HOW COULD YOU BE HONEST ABOUT EVERYTHING? EVERYONE LIES IN ONE FORM OR ANOTHER................WOMEN, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS SINCE YOU GALS ARE THE ONES WHO ALWAYS SEEM TO WANT HONEST MEN WHO NEVER LIE.
 
I AGREE, BUT IT IS TOUGH WHEN YOU ARE A BAD LIER AND THEN GET CAUGHT IN LIE BECAUSE YOU FORGOT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT BEFORE.........THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT WOMEN ARE FUCKED UP......ONE GIRL WANTS THIS AND THE NEXT GIRL WANTS THE OPPOSITE.....



galaxy said:
what they dont know cant hurt them.
Click to expand...
 
I think people in general want others who do not lie. That doesnt mean that every intimate detail on your past has to be discussed in open with the SO, especially if it just doesnt matter to the current relationship, and will cause more harm than good. I didnt ask my husband much at all about previous relationships, but over time, and since we talk alot and are open with each other, certain things come out - none of which are harmful to me. i guess its a matter of knowing what would be ok to discuss and what wouldnt and that depends on how well you know your SO, and how the relationship is.
 
slick635235 said:
I AGREE, BUT IT IS TOUGH WHEN YOU ARE A BAD LIER AND THEN GET CAUGHT IN LIE BECAUSE YOU FORGOT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT BEFORE.........THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT WOMEN ARE FUCKED UP......ONE GIRL WANTS THIS AND THE NEXT GIRL WANTS THE OPPOSITE.....
Click to expand...

Make up enaugh lies where she gets lost in them
 
slick635235 said:
I AGREE, BUT IT IS TOUGH WHEN YOU ARE A BAD LIER AND THEN GET CAUGHT IN LIE BECAUSE YOU FORGOT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT BEFORE.........THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT WOMEN ARE FUCKED UP......ONE GIRL WANTS THIS AND THE NEXT GIRL WANTS THE OPPOSITE.....
Click to expand...
'

Oh i know, you cant trust either one. Im talking the big game but i for one cant lie, i mean i can, but im horrible at it and you could see right threw me...........I dont think something that happend in a past relationship needs to be mentioned tho. I know guys who feel the need to tell the new girl everything about the ex and then they worry what shes gonna think. I mean i cant imagine theyd be too impressed to find out they had cheated before and why he feels the need to say that i have no idea.

Length of relationship and trust levels play a role also. I mean i could tell a certain "dude" something now that may turn her off , but in two years from now she may find it deeply moving and sexy.
 
Why did you fuck a stripper? Were you high or drunk, or had you been fantasizing about other women for a while? If you were in a completely honest relationship, wouldn't you have told her prior to the act that you were having feelings about other women (or never at all, in the case that you were not dating each other exclusively.)

See what I mean?

About lying, I don't see how any lying about cheating can be considered a white lie, which by definition would not hurt her in the least. Lying destroys truth. IMO she'd be better off hearing straight up that you don't want to be with her and only her, and that way she could go fuck other guys or something, or to start getting over you.

Think about it from her point of view. How would you feel if she fucked other guys while you, being faithful, were completely oblivious? You'd want to have the right to see other people, too.
 
Women are the biggest liars there are... thats whey they always think men are lying... it's classic projection.
 
as you get older, you have to realize that most people have "lived some"...get over it.
 
I just read the other posts and realized that you never specified when you fucked the stripper, if it was cheating or not.
 
PBR said:
as you get older, you have to realize that most people have "lived some"...get over it.
Click to expand...

Very fucking true! Its our own hangs up that actually keep us from moving forward into a healthy relationship.
 
I find that my life is easier when I am 100% honest with everyone including myself.

I don't tell everyone every initimate detail of my life (although it may seem like it) but I just represent myself based on my behaviors and beliefs and if someone wants me in their life, great, if not, that's fine too. there are plenty of people that I have chosen not to make a part of my life for any number of reasons. Doesn't mean they are bad people, just not the people I want to surround myself with.
 
slick635235 said:
I AGREE, BUT IT IS TOUGH WHEN YOU ARE A BAD LIER AND THEN GET CAUGHT IN LIE BECAUSE YOU FORGOT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT BEFORE.........THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT WOMEN ARE FUCKED UP......ONE GIRL WANTS THIS AND THE NEXT GIRL WANTS THE OPPOSITE.....
Click to expand...


Women aren't all the same, but that doesn't make us fucked up lmao.

It makes us more ecclectic. You have a broad range of choices. Find the right one for you, and stop bitching about the ones that don't match your personality.
 
I guess it's hard for me to understand why these kinds of things are hard for people to figure out? It's like common sense, is it not? You mean you dont know what details to reveal and what is better left unsaid? How could you not know?

ah, I know. I'm like 80 yrs old, been married 4 times, so now I know how to act in relationships. What youre explaining is stuff I struggled with when I was like 21.
 
UNDERSTANDABLE.............BUT, SOMETIMES THE TRUTH HURTS.......I TRY TO KEEP DETAILS OUT, BUT THIS GIRL WANTS TO KNOW EVERYTHING.....I TELL TO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT AND THEN SHE GETS MAD.........I AM IN A NO WIN SITUATION.........I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER SEXUAL PAST AS I MIGHT HURT ME...........FOR EXAMPLE, WHEN WE FIRST STARTING HANGING NOT OFFICIALLY DATING, I SAW HER MAKE OUT WITH A FEMALE FRIEND.........I MEAN LOVE THAT SH*T, BUT I KNEW MY HEART THAT WE WERE GOING TO BECOME OFFICIALLY BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND......LIKE I SAID I LIKE THAT WHEN I AM JUST FUCKING AROUND WITH WOMEN, BUT WHEN THIS GIRL IS MY GIRLFRIEND, I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT.........I THINK MOST GIRLS WHO AREN'T TRULY GAY, ONLY DO THIS FOR ATTENTION WHICH IS AN IMMATURE ACT........ANYWAY, I TOLD HER HOW I FELT ABOUT THAT WHEN WE BECAME OFFICIAL AND SHE STOPPED AND HONORED MY WISHES.......HOWEVER, I NEVER ONCE INDULGED INTO HER PAST AS IT WOULD HURT ME........HONESTLY, I ALWAYS SAID THAT MY GIRLFRIEND WOULD NEVER BE SOMEONE WHO DID THIS. BUT, SOMETIMES YOU CAN'T ALIENATE SOMEONE AND PREVENT YOURSELF FROM FALLING IN LOVE JUST BECAUSE OF THINGS THEY HAVE DONE IN PAST SO THAT'S WHY I DON'T ASK.........





Smurfy said:
I think people in general want others who do not lie. That doesnt mean that every intimate detail on your past has to be discussed in open with the SO, especially if it just doesnt matter to the current relationship, and will cause more harm than good. I didnt ask my husband much at all about previous relationships, but over time, and since we talk alot and are open with each other, certain things come out - none of which are harmful to me. i guess its a matter of knowing what would be ok to discuss and what wouldnt and that depends on how well you know your SO, and how the relationship is.
Click to expand...
 
Women are very cold and calculating. They could get an argument, go out with there girls and hook up and lie about the nite to you with the straightest most believable face ever and ya know why, cus our egos allow it. WOmen got it on men all day in the cheating dept.
 
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JH1 and Galaxy, you hang out with the wrong women........ It's like listening to my girlfriends talking about what dogs guys are. There are some very nice guys and girls out there...
 
NO I FUCKED THE STRIPPER BEFORE THIS GIRL.......SHE WAS ASKING ME ABOUT MY PAST HISTORY SO I WAS BEING HONEST.......I TOLD HER THAT I WAS DATING A STRIPPER FOR AWHILE THINKING THAT SHE WOULD FIND THIS SEXY AND BE IMPRESSED...........HOWEVER, IT HAD THE OPPOSITE EFFECT..........SHE LOVES SEX AND GETS TURNED ON THAT I WAS A STUD MUFFIN, BUT THIS TIME SHE GOT MAD.........WHY ARE THESE WOMEN CRAZY?




rocky_road said:
Why did you fuck a stripper? Were you high or drunk, or had you been fantasizing about other women for a while? If you were in a completely honest relationship, wouldn't you have told her prior to the act that you were having feelings about other women (or never at all, in the case that you were not dating each other exclusively.)

See what I mean?

About lying, I don't see how any lying about cheating can be considered a white lie, which by definition would not hurt her in the least. Lying destroys truth. IMO she'd be better off hearing straight up that you don't want to be with her and only her, and that way she could go fuck other guys or something, or to start getting over you.

Think about it from her point of view. How would you feel if she fucked other guys while you, being faithful, were completely oblivious? You'd want to have the right to see other people, too.
Click to expand...
 
slick635235 said:
NO I FUCKED THE STRIPPER BEFORE THIS GIRL.......SHE WAS ASKING ME ABOUT MY PAST HISTORY SO I WAS BEING HONEST.......I TOLD HER THAT I WAS DATING A STRIPPER FOR AWHILE THINKING THAT SHE WOULD FIND THIS SEXY AND BE IMPRESSED...........HOWEVER, IT HAD THE OPPOSITE EFFECT..........SHE LOVES SEX AND GETS TURNED ON THAT I WAS A STUD MUFFIN, BUT THIS TIME SHE GOT MAD.........WHY ARE THESE WOMEN CRAZY?
Click to expand...
why you say? I'll tell you. one word: She's fucking jealous.
 
galaxy said:
Women are very cold and calculating. They could get an argument, go out with there girls and hook up and lie about the nite to you with the straightest most believable face ever and ya know why, cus our egos allow it. WOmen got it on men all day in the cheating dept.
Click to expand...

......

yup..
 
So if this is just about past relationships..........Yeah it's kind of stupid for her to be close minded. IMO she's being picky, but you've gotta respect her morals and stuff if she chooses not to be with you anymore. But she also should NOT hold it against you that you did these things. Every person has his or her own morals. And She shouldn't keep bitching about it. She should get over it or break up with you.

About lying... Smurfy has a good point--you can probobly discern for yourself what details to reveal. Figure out her personality. Obviously if she has strong morals against such acts they are probobly better left unsaid, so long as you don't plan to do said things while in a relatioship with her. You were being honest because you thought it would bring you closer, OR you thought she might like it. Both of these things could have happened........but they didn't. If you have so many things that you disagree that you are stressing out about them being revealed, i'd probobly discuss this seriously and consider breaking up.

You said this was an ex but talking in the present tence so this is how i responded

$.02
 
slick635235 said:
NO I FUCKED THE STRIPPER BEFORE THIS GIRL.......SHE WAS ASKING ME ABOUT MY PAST HISTORY SO I WAS BEING HONEST.......I TOLD HER THAT I WAS DATING A STRIPPER FOR AWHILE THINKING THAT SHE WOULD FIND THIS SEXY AND BE IMPRESSED...........HOWEVER, IT HAD THE OPPOSITE EFFECT..........SHE LOVES SEX AND GETS TURNED ON THAT I WAS A STUD MUFFIN, BUT THIS TIME SHE GOT MAD.........WHY ARE THESE WOMEN CRAZY?
Click to expand...


Lol, just read this. I'm a little slow in responding. I see your point. Perhaps she's just.....hormonally unsteady. And yes; she was also jealous.
 
HOW COULD BE YOU BE CONSIDERED 100% HONEST WHEN YOU LEAVE DETAILS OUT OR CALL IN SICK FROM WORK EVEN THOUGH YOU AREN'T REALLY SICK OR YOU MAKE AN EXCUSE TO A FRIEND THAT YOU CAN'T SEE HIM/HER MEANWHILE YOU ARE HANGING OUT WITH A DIFFERENT FRIEND OR HOW ABOUT IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ASKS YOU IF SHE IS FAT? WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT? YES, YOU ARE FAT, HUNNY? CUT THE BULLSHIT. YOU CAN'T BE 100 PERCENT HONEST......................



Lestat said:
I find that my life is easier when I am 100% honest with everyone including myself.

I don't tell everyone every initimate detail of my life (although it may seem like it) but I just represent myself based on my behaviors and beliefs and if someone wants me in their life, great, if not, that's fine too. there are plenty of people that I have chosen not to make a part of my life for any number of reasons. Doesn't mean they are bad people, just not the people I want to surround myself with.
Click to expand...
 
slick635235 said:
HOW COULD BE YOU BE CONSIDERED 100% HONEST WHEN YOU LEAVE DETAILS OUT OR CALL IN SICK FROM WORK EVEN THOUGH YOU AREN'T REALLY SICK OR YOU MAKE AN EXCUSE TO A FRIEND THAT YOU CAN'T SEE HIM/HER MEANWHILE YOU ARE HANGING OUT WITH A DIFFERENT FRIEND OR HOW ABOUT IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ASKS YOU IF SHE IS FAT? WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT? YES, YOU ARE FAT, HUNNY? CUT THE BULLSHIT. YOU CAN'T BE 100 PERCENT HONEST......................
Click to expand...
I don't call in sick when I'm not.

I don't lie to girls, if I am busy, I tell them I have plans. The details are my business. If I have a serious relationship, where there is some level of commitment, then I simply don't see other women.

And most women know better than to ask "am I fat."
 
rocky_road said:
Why did you fuck a stripper? Were you high or drunk, or had you been fantasizing about other women for a while? If you were in a completely honest relationship, wouldn't you have told her prior to the act that you were having feelings about other women (or never at all, in the case that you were not dating each other exclusively.)

See what I mean?

About lying, I don't see how any lying about cheating can be considered a white lie, which by definition would not hurt her in the least. Lying destroys truth. IMO she'd be better off hearing straight up that you don't want to be with her and only her, and that way she could go fuck other guys or something, or to start getting over you.

Think about it from her point of view. How would you feel if she fucked other guys while you, being faithful, were completely oblivious? You'd want to have the right to see other people, too.
Click to expand...
werd
 
Lestat said:
I don't call in sick when I'm not.

I don't lie to girls, if I am busy, I tell them I have plans. The details are my business. If I have a serious relationship, where there is some level of commitment, then I simply don't see other women.

And most women know better than to ask "am I fat."
Click to expand...

yea they ask do I look fat?
 
It does not exist 100% except maybe in rare cases and I even doubt that. Women are better at lying. Maybe men lie more in general, but women are better at it. Although I have an astute ability to catch them because of my suspicious nature.
 
Your girlfriend shouldn't ask questions from your past to begin with

and especially if she's not capable of dealing with an answer she may not like.

As Smurfy said, that is something I learned when I was still in high school.

Don't ask about a person's past because it is what it is.....the PAST.
 
alien amp pharm said:
Your girlfriend shouldn't ask questions from your past to begin with

and especially if she's not capable of dealing with an answer she may not like.

As Smurfy said, that is something I learned when I was still in high school.

Don't ask about a person's past because it is what it is.....the PAST.
Click to expand...

I strongly disagree. A person's past shapes who they are and may be indicative of future behavior.
 
biteme said:
I strongly disagree. A person's past shapes who they are and may be indicative of future behavior.
Click to expand...

Fair enough...I can agree with you on certain areas of questioning a person's past, but not when it comes to things such as "How many people you been with?" "Did you have sex with that girl?" "Have you been with a stripper?" etc.
 
Smurfy said:
I think people in general want others who do not lie. That doesnt mean that every intimate detail on your past has to be discussed in open with the SO, especially if it just doesnt matter to the current relationship, and will cause more harm than good. I didnt ask my husband much at all about previous relationships, but over time, and since we talk alot and are open with each other, certain things come out - none of which are harmful to me. i guess its a matter of knowing what would be ok to discuss and what wouldnt and that depends on how well you know your SO, and how the relationship is.
Click to expand...
What she said.
 
katdav said:
JH1 and Galaxy, you hang out with the wrong women........ It's like listening to my girlfriends talking about what dogs guys are. There are some very nice guys and girls out there...
Click to expand...

I need to comment a little further on this: I never "dog" women on here or IRL. however- this scenerio has happened to me more than once with somewhat of a grave conclusion.
WHY do women want their GF's to fail at relationships at whatever the depth it may be?...the SHIT they put into each others minds, some which does not, nor ever even existed...yet, they help each other, coaching them along in the dating phases, but as soon as there is any FORM of INTIMACY- they switch roles, from "Coach to Adversary"...and this can come from women who are happy or unhappy, rich or poor, single or married...i suspect its "Jealousy"...you think?
 
I can't live with myself if I lie, so I always try and be honest. Sometimes that gets ugly. I can say for a fact that I never lied to my wife in the almost 6 years we were married or in the time prior to that while we were dating.
 
PBR said:
I need to comment a little further on this: I never "dog" women on here or IRL. however- this scenerio has happened to me more than once with somewhat of a grave conclusion.
WHY do women want their GF's to fail at relationships at whatever the depth it may be?...the SHIT they put into each others minds, some which does not, nor ever even existed...yet, they help each other, coaching them along in the dating phases, but as soon as there is any FORM of INTIMACY- they switch roles, from "Coach to Adversary"...and this can come from women who are happy or unhappy, rich or poor, single or married...i suspect its "Jealousy"...you think?
Click to expand...
yeah i notice that too,
 
PBR said:
I need to comment a little further on this: I never "dog" women on here or IRL. however- this scenerio has happened to me more than once with somewhat of a grave conclusion.
WHY do women want their GF's to fail at relationships at whatever the depth it may be?...the SHIT they put into each others minds, some which does not, nor ever even existed...yet, they help each other, coaching them along in the dating phases, but as soon as there is any FORM of INTIMACY- they switch roles, from "Coach to Adversary"...and this can come from women who are happy or unhappy, rich or poor, single or married...i suspect its "Jealousy"...you think?
Click to expand...

I disagree, maybe it's age/immaturity.
 
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