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tomorrow I'm getting my anus swabbed...

  • Thread starter Thread starter heatherrae
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heatherrae

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I have to take a Strep B test which is a routine test during pregnancy. I read up on it and it said that the doctor "swabs the vagina and anus." UGH. I wonder if he is just going to run something over the outside of it or if he is going to stick something up my bum?
 
This is...uh... a good topic of discussion. How many marbles do you suppose I could fit in ym urethra? I guess 8 medium-sized ones.
 
Haven't you had your anus swiped before? Like during a gynocological visit? Or an STD test? But this is for a pregnant lady so I don't know, he might be sticking it up there. Who knows, you might like anal play from then on..... :qt:
 
Nathan said:
This is...uh... a good topic of discussion. How many marbles do you suppose I could fit in ym urethra? I guess 8 medium-sized ones.
Click to expand...
try it and get back to us. ;) don't forget to post pictures.

You don't know about the strep B tests? Dang. Someone has to know. I don't want a surprise poke with a stick tomorrow. I'm going to paint a smiley face on it.
 
redsamurai said:
Haven't you had your anus swiped before? Like during a gynocological visit? Or an STD test? But this is for a pregnant lady so I don't know, he might be sticking it up there. Who knows, you might like anal play from then on..... :qt:
Click to expand...
No, I never have had it swabbed. :whatever: Is it just like a qtip that they run over the surface?

I never had any STD scares in my life and never had the gyno pay any attention to my bum before.
 
jh1 said:
Pics?
Click to expand...
Now that would really freak the doctor out...lol. It is hard for me to photograph someone doing something to my bum when I can't even see my own nanny.
 
sixxtoes said:
ahh the good old bum swab. one of lifes perks!
Click to expand...
I wonder if he will have my lie on my side for that or if he will pull my hair and have me on all 4's...lol.
 
I just realized how sad it is that the anal swab will be the closest thing to any sex action that I've gotten in a long time...LOL
 
heatherrae said:
Now that would really freak the doctor out...lol. It is hard for me to photograph someone doing something to my bum when I can't even see my own nanny.
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No just take a pic right now of your anus/taint/nanny... post up...

what's this got to do with the doctor..
 
jh1 said:
No just take a pic right now of your anus/taint/nanny... post up...

what's this got to do with the doctor..
Click to expand...
:worried:

No one wants to see that carnage. I could scare small children these days.
 
video?
 
heatherrae said:
I wonder if he will have my lie on my side for that or if he will pull my hair and have me on all 4's...lol.
Click to expand...


If it were me I'd have you on all 4's, pulling your hair and throw in a few ass slaps.
 
bw1 said:
If it were me I'd have you on all 4's, pulling your hair and throw in a few ass slaps.
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LOL...

The American Medical Association would love that!

I think I'm going to have to go lie down and put my feet up now. My feet are swollen to the size of baloons. :bawling:
 
^ Sherwin Williams maybe able to paint the world, but I bet even they don't have enough for that job.
 
try not to pass gas while you're ass end up.
 
If it's any consolation, I don't think ANYTHING could be worse than what they stick where during the whole birthing process.






...just sayin is all.








Come to think of it, Strep B is ringing a bell but I can't remember the whole anus-swabbing thing... you'd thinK would seeing as how I went through that four times. But nope, sorry.
 
heatherrae said:
I have to take a Strep B test which is a routine test during pregnancy. I read up on it and it said that the doctor "swabs the vagina and anus." UGH. I wonder if he is just going to run something over the outside of it or if he is going to stick something up my bum?
Click to expand...

WTF??? My ex had 5 kids and not once did she ever have to get her corn hole "swabbed"! You need a different doctor!
 
heatherrae said:
No, I never have had it swabbed. :whatever: Is it just like a qtip that they run over the surface?

I never had any STD scares in my life and never had the gynecomastia pay any attention to my bum before.
Click to expand...
wait u mean strep like the throat shit......u can get that in your butt and vagina?????? omg that would hurt
 
heatherrae said:
I have to take a Strep B test which is a routine test during pregnancy. I read up on it and it said that the doctor "swabs the vagina and anus." UGH. I wonder if he is just going to run something over the outside of it or if he is going to stick something up my bum?
Click to expand...



Jeez, Heather...
 
Last edited:
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yea i think this ass swabin is more of fantacy more than a medical neccesity......


swab slut!!!!!
 
heatherrae said:
I have to take a Strep B test which is a routine test during pregnancy. I read up on it and it said that the doctor "swabs the vagina and anus." UGH. I wonder if he is just going to run something over the outside of it or if he is going to stick something up my bum?
Click to expand...


I just discovered that this thread is actually the first listing in the unabridged e-dictionary for the entry "attention whore".

Wow they work fast.
 
hanselthecaretaker said:
I just discovered that this thread is actually the first listing in the unabridged e-dictionary for the entry "attention whore".

Wow they work fast.
Click to expand...
:lmao:
 
jon79 said:
wait u mean strep like the throat shit......u can get that in your butt and vagina?????? omg that would hurt
Click to expand...
evidently there is a common strep virus that is different than strep throat which women can carry in their vagina and anus and not be aware of it. It can cause infections in newborns that can lead to blindness, deafness, death, etc. If you come up positive, they just give you antibiotics during labor that are 90% effective in protecting the bambino from getting it.

So, no matter what they have to do to my bum, I guess it is worth it.

Still, I like for someone to lick my bum before they molest it. It is one of my requirements...lol.
 
heatherrae said:
I have to take a Strep B test which is a routine test during pregnancy. I read up on it and it said that the doctor "swabs the vagina and anus." UGH. I wonder if he is just going to run something over the outside of it or if he is going to stick something up my bum?
Click to expand...
This is the epitome of TMI
 
i really dont remember if I had that test? it was 10 years ago when I was pregnant. I;m sure you wont even notice him in your choc starfish.
 
Smurfy said:
i really dont remember if I had that test? it was 10 years ago when I was pregnant. I;m sure you wont even notice him in your choc starfish.
Click to expand...



Dang... that's harsh.

I hope girls don't talk that way about me.
 
Smurfy said:
i really dont remember if I had that test? it was 10 years ago when I was pregnant. I;m sure you wont even notice him in your choc starfish.
Click to expand...
I usually notice contact with my little flower bud.
 
if you think about it, this will probably be the most action HR has seen since jack_schitt went and put his face in that fat girl's titties
 
jerkbox said:
if you think about it, this will probably be the most action HR has seen since jack_schitt went and put his face in that fat girl's titties
Click to expand...
Yep.
 
i would def bleach/shave/enema the said anus before going in
think about it, the doc could be a suitable mate...if your ass be dirty and unkept, he's not gonna wanna hit it
 
Gambino said:
i would def bleach/shave/enema the said anus before going in
think about it, the doc could be a suitable mate...if your ass be dirty and unkept, he's not gonna wanna hit it
Click to expand...
I doubt the sight of my big bloated carcass on the table is making him too excited anyway...lol.
 
redsamurai said:
so heather, how did it go today???? hmmmmmm?? details details!!
Click to expand...
It was a tad embarassing, but not too bad. Basically, he had me lie on the table covered with those paper sheet things and feet in stirrups. The swab went on the outside of each side of the nanny and then inside the first inch or so of the nanny. Then, the same swab was swiped along the outside of the anus for a couple of seconds. It was VERY ticklish actually. I'm glad he just seemed to be doing it half blindly and didn't have me get on my side or spread my cheeks or anything. That is what I was worried about.

Then, he did a pelvic exam and said "this may hurt a little." It wasn't too bad though -- just a bit uncomfortable when he was really pushing on the cervix.

I'm effaced some but not yet dilated any, he said.
 
heatherrae said:
It was a tad embarassing, but not too bad. Basically, he had me lie on the table covered with those paper sheet things and feet in stirrups. The swab went on the outside of each side of the nanny and then inside the first inch or so of the nanny. Then, the same swab was swiped along the outside of the anus for a couple of seconds. It was VERY ticklish actually. I'm glad he just seemed to be doing it half blindly and didn't have me get on my side or spread my cheeks or anything. That is what I was worried about.

Then, he did a pelvic exam and said "this may hurt a little." It wasn't too bad though -- just a bit uncomfortable when he was really pushing on the cervix.

I'm effaced some but not yet dilated any, he said.
Click to expand...

LOL I remember being 1cm dialated for what seemed FOREVER.

Oh God. When I was pregnant with my first doc said I could go *any day* at the end of July. My date was moved up to 8 AUG. I was like, "Really? Isn't that too soon?" He said, "Nope the baby is already 6 to 7 pounds. And as small as you are I don't think it will go much longer."

By the second week of August I wanted to strangle him.

Was induced on the 18th and gave birth on the 19th of August. My oldest was 8 pounds 15 ounces.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
LOL I remember being 1cm dialated for what seemed FOREVER.

Oh God. When I was pregnant with my first doc said I could go *any day* at the end of July. My date was moved up to 8 AUG. I was like, "Really? Isn't that too soon?" He said, "Nope the baby is already 6 to 7 pounds. And as small as you are I don't think it will go much longer."

By the second week of August I wanted to strangle him.

Was induced on the 18th and gave birth on the 19th of August. My oldest was 8 pounds 15 ounces.
Click to expand...
They should never say that you can go anytime. Then, you are miserable waiting. They should just tell EVERYONE that they are probably going to be late that way if you go early, you are just pleasantly surprised.
 
heatherrae said:
It was a tad embarassing, but not too bad. Basically, he had me lie on the table covered with those paper sheet things and feet in stirrups. The swab went on the outside of each side of the nanny and then inside the first inch or so of the nanny. Then, the same swab was swiped along the outside of the anus for a couple of seconds. It was VERY ticklish actually. I'm glad he just seemed to be doing it half blindly and didn't have me get on my side or spread my cheeks or anything. That is what I was worried about.

Then, he did a pelvic exam and said "this may hurt a little." It wasn't too bad though -- just a bit uncomfortable when he was really pushing on the cervix.

I'm effaced some but not yet dilated any, he said.
Click to expand...
:horny: :dolphin: :horny:
 
heatherrae said:
They should never say that you can go anytime. Then, you are miserable waiting. They should just tell EVERYONE that they are probably going to be late that way if you go early, you are just pleasantly surprised.
Click to expand...

He had been doing this for a long time (meaning that he had a lot of experince) and I should have gone sooner than later. My oldest was just a freak. My younger three were all 6 and change.

Her birthday will be on the 19th. She will be 15 years old. I have not seen her or touched her or talked to her since 1 MAY 2006 when I said goodbye to her that morning as she was on her way to school.

My sister will leave the country on the 23 and my birthday will be on the 31 (hers is on 4 SEP).

This will be a hard month for me.
 
heatherrae said:
It was a tad embarassing, but not too bad. Basically, he had me lie on the table covered with those paper sheet things and feet in stirrups. The swab went on the outside of each side of the nanny and then inside the first inch or so of the nanny. Then, the same swab was swiped along the outside of the anus for a couple of seconds. It was VERY ticklish actually. I'm glad he just seemed to be doing it half blindly and didn't have me get on my side or spread my cheeks or anything. That is what I was worried about.

Then, he did a pelvic exam and said "this may hurt a little." It wasn't too bad though -- just a bit uncomfortable when he was really pushing on the cervix.

I'm effaced some but not yet dilated any, he said.
Click to expand...


For the love of God what a site that must have been :worried:
 
BIKINIMOM said:
He had been doing this for a long time (meaning that he had a lot of experince) and I should have gone sooner than later. My oldest was just a freak. My younger three were all 6 and change.

Her birthday will be on the 19th. She will be 15 years old. I have not seen her or touched her or talked to her since 1 MAY 2006 when I said goodbye to her that morning as she was on her way to school.

My sister will leave the country on the 23 and my birthday will be on the 31 (hers is on 4 SEP).

This will be a hard month for me.
Click to expand...
awww...I'm sorry. That is tough.
 
canadianhitman said:
I hope you did an extra-thorough job 'swabbing the poop-deck' in the bath before your appointment!
Click to expand...
I did. I was paranoid about it being okay down south. lol.
 
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