Tech Support loves its Customers

[blut wump]

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it
just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?

Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?

Customer: Yeah....

Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?

Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD
player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....

Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!


===============


Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one...


===============


Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still
on my desk... sorry....


===============


Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?


===============


Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
Gates, damn it!


===============


Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time
I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and
placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't
find it...


===============


Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.



===============


Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.


===============


Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work


===============


Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a
capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?


===============


Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.


===============


Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.


===============


Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on
my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

===============


Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get
the circle around it?


===============


A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his
printer is working fine."


===============


And last but not least:....


Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the
same time.

That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the
letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: I don't have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

 

[SoKlueles]

awww those are cute

 

[Lady Viking]

lol

 

[jenscats5]

 

[epstropes]

If you are in a tech support position you realize they are cute but true. I had a lady where I work call me because he put her CD in her CD-Rom and the computer didn't see it. I then informed her she didn't have a CD-Rom. (I know because I took it out because she was to stupid to use it) She put a CD in the only spot a CD would fit and it fell into her computer.

PEOPLE ARE STUPID!!!

 

[SoKlueles]

If you are in a tech support position you realize they are cute but true. I had a lady where I work call me because he put her CD in her CD-Rom and the computer didn't see it. I then informed her she didn't have a CD-Rom. (I know because I took it out because she was to stupid to use it) She put a CD in the only spot a CD would fit and it fell into her computer.

PEOPLE ARE STUPID!!!

no they arent stupid, they are usually just computer illiterate or something.
or have no common sense
one or the other lol

 

[epstropes]

Trust me this lady was stupid, she called me the next day because her phone didn't work. I walked over and plugged it in, she was like I'd didn't even think to check that.

Two days later she called me up because her phone didn't work again, can you guess the problem?

 

[jenscats5]

Trust me this lady was stupid, she called me the next day because her phone didn't work. I walked over and plugged it in, she was like I'd didn't even think to check that.

Two days later she called me up because her phone didn't work again, can you guess the problem?

How did she call you if her phone wasn't working?? Huh?? HUH???

 

[blut wump]

I had the IT guy at the last place I worked come to ask for help since he couldn't get one of his machines to recognise the network. He'd tried all the usual stuff of reinstalling drivers. He'd checked his IP address etc but couldn't connect. It all started working when I plugged the ethernet cable in. We all have off days.

 

[SULAK]

How did she call you if her phone wasn't working?? Huh?? HUH???

Stupid, but with amazing psychic powers!?!